“In the Black community, men who express even a passing, friendly physical affection toward each other are often subject to ridicule and homophobic attacks.
But on the basketball court, the sight of men kissing, hugging and patting each others’ backsides scarcely draws a comment.
Why is that?”
This is a very good question indeed. Basic physical intimacy on the court is generally accepted while that same kind of physical touching in everyday life is shunned. It’s worth noting that this seems to primarily be the case in the United States since men in many other countries have no problem with hugs, holding hands or kissing each other on the cheek (in many places its offensive if you DON’T do this).
The documentary features what appears to be a Skype interview with openly Gay former NBA player Don Amaechi who we’ve previously spoken about here. He adds poignant commentary to an otherwise basic recap of what we already know about male masculinity and intimacy.
Nonetheless, the short video brings up interesting conversation starters for several topics that we’ve been discussing for the last 10 months here at Discreet City. Examples include: What really is Out of Bounds when it comes to American men being physically intimate in public? Are the “No Homo” and “Pause” terms justified in some cases? Will our society ever evolve to the point of matching the intimacy seen amongst men in other countries?
There is something wrong with a culture that forbids nonsexual affection between men. When I was in Nigeria, I really had a difficult time when I was out with my friends and one of them held my hand. In my head, I was like wtf??? I came to realize that this action was not a secret signal to get down but to show that I was considered a brother to this man. It’s amazing how much a little action can allow you to feel a real connection of closeness and friendship.
I think we are too obsessed with sex in this country so everything we do either consciously or unconsciously is to ooze sexuality. Pause and no homo arises from this premise. I often wonder if the parsing of words like pause and no homo shows just one might think of about the possibility of desiring to engage in a gay sex act?
Yeah. I’ve seen a lot of this man-on-man affection in sports. Not sure how much of it is sexual. I think it’s pretty complex, but it’s easy to just box it in as “abnormal” masculine behavior because of how our society is indoctrinated as far as gender roles go. But there are some instances that just make you laugh. Like the Manny Ramirez/ Julian Tavares video. I also had a photo of two college basketball players during a game. One had his head resting in the lap of the other. I think it’s cool.
SOMETHING ABOUT SCORING POINTS , WINNING , GOOD TEAM PLAY , ETC… THAT WORKS UP A MAN. HE HAS TO LET THAT RUSH OF ENERGY OUT. THAT ENERGY IS SLIGHTLY EROTIC BECAUSE WE ARE ALL HUMAN. LETS FACE IT ONE PHYSICALLY FIT MAN NOTICES ANOTHER PHYSICALLY FIT MAN. IF HE IS OUT OF SHAPE AND THE TEAM IS LOSING THEY NOTICE. IT’S THE OPEN GAYNESS THAT STRAIGHT MEN DON’T WANT TO SEE AND HAVE TO ADDRESS TO THE PRESS IF A PLAYER COMES OUT. AS A BROTHER WHOSE BEEN IN THE LOCKER ROOMS I KNOW.