Episode Two, man. Lehgo! Xavier and his boyfriend had a fight apparently, all because he cheated, and he feels regret. We know this because the character literally tells us this. Yes. This is taught in filmmaking 101…but on the what NOT to do side of things. Xavier goes on to tell us, “Its like I can’t do anything right.” No, Xavier, you can’t. You’ve demonstrated that very well so far.
We jump to Trent and Cam’s place. Xavier is moving in today. Wait, when was that arranged? Nevermind. Cam doesn’t like Xavier moving in, Trent does. What can go wrong? Cam flashbacks to a past relationship, I was right, he’s a homo. Not only is he a homo, he’s a Gay Marriage homo. He wants to get married but his boyfriend doesn’t. The boyfriend asks Cam if he still loves him, he says “you always did want too much.” Yes, Cam. That is the proper logical response to that specific question from a man that you just recently wanted to Gay Marry. [sarcasm]
Trent, Cam and Xavier finally meet. Blah Blah Blah. Cam leaves. Then Xavier and Trent go at it again until we reveal that trent doesn’t Kiss men nor does he perform oral sex. Sigh. This wouldn’t be so bad if this wasn’t the ONLY piece of character development that Trent is given in the entire series by the writers!!! In fact, ALL of the character development is given through a gay lens. Besides the fact that Xavier is originally from Florida, we know NOTHING non-gay about the characters. NOTHING!
“Team Vers, all day.” says Xavier
ARGGH! FREEFALL WRITERS! *Waves fists in the air*
Cam comes back home to find Xavier watching TV on the couch. Cam looks like he’s either really sleepy or he’s on heroin. Hopefully its that latter. Then the writers will have given us SOMETHING to indicate that these are real people. Not just cardboard cutouts to fit preconceived Gay stereotypes and archetypes for a shallow gay audience. Alas, nope. He’s just really sleepy. Anyway, they have a quiet chat. Almost too quiet for a web series lacking an external microphone. Seriously, this isn’t Nick Delmacy sarcasm. I literally couldn’t hear half of this scene and many others like it.
Cam reveals to Xavier that he’s gay. No big deal right? Well, only that his best friend and roommate doesn’t even know yet but he felt the need to volunteer this information to a complete stranger that his friend is fucking, volunteered unsolicited by the way. Cam goes on to say he’s adjusting to not sleeping with a lover. He leaves for bed, because he’s real real tired, remember? Then Xavier turns to us to say, “I don’t ever wanna get used to sleeping alone.” So he climbs back into Trent’s bed. It’s confirmed: Xavier is an idiot and a bad character. Really. This is no reflection on the actor who plays him. This character, like the others, are just not written very well. If the Freefall Writers’ attempt was to get us to dislike every one of their inconsistent characters, Mission Accomplished.
Just when you thought Freefall couldn’t…well, “fall” any lower (pun intended), We are given an over-a-minute scene of Cam masturbating. Not only that, he’s masturbating in the most awkward position humanly possible. And on top of all that, he’s talking to his penis. Yes, he’s having full conversation, asking questions and everything. If this was meant to be a comical scene, it failed. It was just embarrassing. Here’s the gripe with the writing: what about Cam’s laid back, serious character implied that he was also the type of person that would say to his penis, “Daddy’s been busy. Oh, you’re much bigger in person.” Sigh. And where did Cam suddenly get all this new Masturbation energy?! Just TWO MINUTES ago he was leaning like a heroin addict from exhaustion!!!
Trent walks in on Cam jerking off (of course) and gives him masturbation advice. Yes. This all happens. The next day we see all of the roommates together with some new guy named Chad. Who cares. We won’t learn anything substantial about him so why bother? They play some drinking game, get into a lot of messiness. Each roommate is insulted. Its all pretty predictable and boring. That evening, Trent has another hookup over. One that doesn’t wanna have sex, he just wants to chill. Trent gets bored (welcome to the club) and tries to choke the dude out! Wait, what? When was violence established in his character? Was this supposed to be a demonstration of misdirected anger? It couldn’t have been because the roommates had just made up in the previous scene. You know what, I don’t care.
I’ve figured it out. The Freefall Writers were Bane and they broke the back of the director before filming this mess so that he couldn’t live up to his former critical glory.
I wanna see Lamont Pierre climb out of this shitty pit as we chant: Deshi-Deshi Basara-Basara! Deshi-Deshi Basara-Basara! [Dark Knight Rises reference, son! *Drops Mic*]
To be fair: The new season of Freefall premieres soon and they dropped a trailer for it. It looks like they may have solved some of the problems of the first season…but we’ve all been fooled before.
Time will tell.
