Assuming he was out of school for summer break, he along with a car load full of feminine young guys, blew kisses, waved, and made jeers a couple of times when my partner was out cutting the grass or leaving the house. Keep in mind this young man can’t be more than 20-21 years old and I can only assume his companions were around the same age. This was done while they were pulling into the subdivision…yes where his family lives.I personally would not conceive of doing something like this near or in front of my mom’s house, not just out of respect for my mother but also because I would not know how a “stranger / neighbor” (who is obviously my elder) would react to my suggestive jeers. This past weekend, I was walking to my mailbox and guess who pulls up? My young gay neighbor…looking as sweet as a Noah’s Arc character with a hungry twinkle in his eye. He says to me “can I ask you a personal question?” With out hesitation my reply was quick, “No you can’t” and I continued going about my business. My first thought was, “man these young gay dudes today just don’t care. They are so bold and have not discretion at all.”I began to think back to a black talk radio program that I was listening to one morning. The topic was something related to homosexuality. I remember a male caller (who described himself as an ex-police officer) spoke about his personal experience while at a traffic light in the West End part of Atlanta. He described how this young 20 something black male next to him blew his horn, got his attention and asked him “what’s up?” The caller replied by saying “what’s up with what?” He stated the young man asked him “did he want to get down?” His reply was “what do you mean – get down?” The young man proceeded to ask the caller could he suck his dick. The caller stated after he began to curse angrily, the young man drove off. The male caller proceeded to say…
“Oh he was lucky, because as disgusted as I was, he lucky I didn’t have my pistol on me because I would have defiantly pulled it out and something mos def would have popped off!”
I am in no way condoning violence in anyway, especially over something as trivial as the situation I described above. That is my personal way of thinking and thought process. However there are plenty of homophobes out there who feel if their manhood is being challenged they will do what they feel they need to do (fighting, shooting or any other act of violence) to re-assert their masculinity or manhood.
So to the gay youth out there; these simple acts I describe above can place you in danger. I will be 35 this year and I hope I am not that out of touch, that this type of behavior amongst gay youth today is the norm. I hope that if we have young masculine homosexual men in our grasp, who may be brothers, cousins, nephews, sons, or grandsons; we will educate them about the image that they display to the public. Advise them that there is nothing wrong with admiring a handsome man; however staring, making suggestive comments or advances, loud and salacious jeers can attract the wrong attention and helps perpetuate the negative stereotypes out there about homosexual men of color. Let them know that carrying themselves with pride, dignity and being discreet can go a long way.
-Octavius
OckyDub
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Wow! An interesting article. It is a different world these days. first, I applause the freedoms and expressions of boldness the young gay men have today. No longer are they living behind the walls of fear and or intimidation. Noah’s Ark Liberation! Who run the world, The Gay-Queens! Please forgive my language I did not mean to judge or offend.
From this article it appears that these young men are only ones getting their lives. Being a masculine old head and from the old school and ways, I think it is absolutely fascinating to watch. Why is there such a large divide between the so call undetectable masculine homosexuals, who wants to fit into their communities, who want to be left to their private lives from those who want to live in a way that is untraditional, untamed and uncompromising open/free?
Why didn’t the 35 year old guy with the partner extend an olive-branch to the young effeminate man to be an example of maturity to them, if nothing else? A grave missed opportunity. He was more concern about keeping his private life private, which he has a right to do. If, that is his choice then, stop complaining about what the young effeminate men are doing. Their action to me was more contributing to their being young and immature not because of their being gay or effeminate. We have all done horny immature things toward women and/or men in the past.
Who was that nut case in the car, the ex-police officer? If, his temperament was like that, then why in the hell was he ever a police officer? Straight men are not the only people who are legally packing. Damn, now that is a whole different topic. I grew up under the motto, Fuck or Fight! I did both well. We are all different colors in the tapestry of life. Repeat after me, “We are all necessary, beautiful and free.”
I agree with Manhoodis.
I don’t.. I grew up under the same banner as Manhoodis. Dat is Fuck r Fight n like ma brotha, I do both well! I agree about the tapestry, however the vast majority of the youth that I c r WAY ova the top. Hate to say it but extending an olive branch to a blind man would be more effective. While we are just gettin in that explosive time of feeling ourselves dat(20plus) it is nearly impossible 4 anybody to tell most of us anything as we feel invincible and hellbent on self indulgence and self destruction..(N SHORT, LEARNING) You can say all the words n phrases you like, but until they are moral and mature enuff to accept it itz just dat, wordz.. Erry man gotta find his own way and the way comes in steps n struggles .. If u aint got to step 10 and can c step 11 it aint no way u goin to b talked to step 13 cuz u aint matured enuff..
This is not a gay vs straight, masculine vs feminine, young vs old issue. Some people are just direct and aggressive with sexual advances while others are subtle, if not hesitant. Think about it, I’ve seen women have to deal ridiculous cat calls, it’s nothing for some guys to be shouting at the top of their lungs on a busy street “Ay girl, when you gonna let me beat?” but that doesn’t mean all men take that approach.
I’m rather attractive I’ve been told and in my experience people being direct and aggressive with sexual advances knows no age, race, sexual orientation.
Fact of the matter is that times have changed since the 90s, when I was in my 20s. Always a very discreet person, well, usually…but these are times when being gay is not such a hidden dirty secret where youth are scared to be themselves…or feel that they have to “blend” in. People are much more aware now. Certainly, there are plenty who are not enlightened, and thats just too bad.
This is a matter of how people conduct themselves. That young neighbor was reaching out and got a cold shoulder. Even though it may have been sexual, a grown man can curb those thoughts and guide them to a respectable relationship. We’ve all acted a fool with our friends in cars and on the street. Imagine what cute straight women have to deal with when they leave the house. Straight men are constantly ganging up on them individually or in groups trying to “connect.” For a women, it must be scary to be approached by these dudes, all the time…and maybe even degrading.
Same now with the young…
I agree with Manhoodis as well. Being “discreet” is part of the problem with black gay america now. Obviously, there are homophobes out there and we should be careful, but to say something is WRONG with a person for expressing themselves in this way is not fair. I couldn’t imagine doing it at such a young age, but to be that comfortable with yourself at that age is amazing to me.