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I have resided in my subdivision for about five to six years.  I live towards the entrance of my subdivision so by position and location; I see a lot of my neighbors in passing.  Years ago I noticed a black teenaged boy in my neighborhood that would occasionally be out walking a dog.  I begin to observe that when ever I would be coming or going; he would make a mad dash to come down and attempt to hold a conversation.  Trying to mask his femininity, he would ask simple questions like “do you work out or what gym do you go to?”  I would give a short stand-offish answer as to not entertain him and his overtly flirtatious demeanor.This only happened about four or five times within the last three years, even though I saw him along with many of my other neighbors regularly in transient.  I noticed him along with other neighborhood kids grow and mature through the years; from catching the bus in the morning to driving their parent’s cars to having their own automobiles.  I noticed as he matured, his glances turned into long stares and smirks.  As with some other kids who left the neighborhood to go off to college or work, his absence from walking the dog or going to the library was noticed, until this past summer when he made his presence known.

Assuming he was out of school for summer break, he along with a car load full of feminine young guys, blew kisses, waved, and made jeers a couple of times when my partner was out cutting the grass or leaving the house.  Keep in mind this young man can’t be more than 20-21 years old and I can only assume his companions were around the same age.  This was done while they were pulling into the subdivision…yes where his family lives.I personally would not conceive of doing something like this near or in front of my mom’s house, not just out of respect for my mother but also because I would not know how a “stranger / neighbor” (who is obviously my elder) would react to my suggestive jeers.  This past weekend, I was walking to my mailbox and guess who pulls up?  My young gay neighbor…looking as sweet as a Noah’s Arc character with a hungry twinkle in his eye.  He says to me “can I ask you a personal question?”  With out hesitation my reply was quick, “No you can’t” and I continued going about my business.  My first thought was, “man these young gay dudes today just don’t care.  They are so bold and have not discretion at all.”I began to think back to a black talk radio program that I was listening to one morning.  The topic was something related to homosexuality.  I remember a male caller (who described himself as an ex-police officer) spoke about his personal experience while at a traffic light in the West End part of Atlanta.  He described how this young 20 something black male next to him blew his horn, got his attention and asked him “what’s up?”  The caller replied by saying “what’s up with what?”  He stated the young man asked him “did he want to get down?”  His reply was “what do you mean – get down?”  The young man proceeded to ask the caller could he suck his dick.  The caller stated after he began to curse angrily, the young man drove off.  The male caller proceeded to say…

“Oh he was lucky, because as disgusted as I was, he lucky I didn’t have my pistol on me because I would have defiantly pulled it out and something mos def would have popped off!”

I am in no way condoning violence in anyway, especially over something as trivial as the situation I described above.  That is my personal way of thinking and thought process.  However there are plenty of homophobes out there who feel if their manhood is being challenged they will do what they feel they need to do (fighting, shooting or any other act of violence) to re-assert their masculinity or manhood.

So to the gay youth out there; these simple acts I describe above can place you in danger.  I will be 35 this year and I hope I am not that out of touch, that this type of behavior amongst gay youth today is the norm.  I hope that if we have young masculine homosexual men in our grasp, who may be brothers, cousins, nephews, sons, or grandsons; we will educate them about the image that they display to the public.  Advise them that there is nothing wrong with admiring a handsome man; however staring, making suggestive comments or advances, loud and salacious jeers can attract the wrong attention and helps perpetuate the negative stereotypes out there about homosexual men of color.  Let them know that carrying themselves with pride, dignity and being discreet can go a long way.

 

-Octavius