Masculine:
1. pertaining to or characteristic of a man or men.
2. having qualities traditionally ascribed to men.
3. unwomanly.
“Who made you the flag-bearer and authority on all things masculine?” the question was posed. No one had to bestow that occupation on me; I accepted it with an open mind.
Because even though I know I am not the universal absolute authority when it comes to this subject (but not that far from it); I still have an understanding and love for my masculinity that is not shaped by chauvinistic or outdated views of women in the kitchen and a man being only validated by his number of sexual conquests.
My masculinity is something that I am proud of. I am unapologetic about speaking up and out about how I feel masculine voices are over shadowed and under heard in the black gay community and many articles we have produced advise on such.
Speaking about masculinity by default you are speaking about femininity. They are opposites and neither, I feel is to be minimized; however both have their place.
Do I think the definition of what it means to be a masculine man has changed? All things change; however I believe that some things are more openly and honestly discussed concerning men and our issues than in previous years and generations. Such as our emotions, depression, self esteem, body images, etc.
An example is that most today think its healthy for men to cry, but men have always cried. There was a period in time that has come full circle, when it was honorable of a warrior to cry. It showed he had compassion and could empathize with his fallen comrades.
But today it seems many in the gay culture want the lines of masculinity and gender blurred as to be more inclusive and ambiguous simultaneously. As to not offend or isolate. I think this is dangerously short sighted and gives one a diminishing sense of identity.
Some gays feel that being masculine is an attempt to want to be heterosexual or blend in with heterosexual society, which for the majority of the masculine homosexual men could be further from the truth. As the definition states, masculinity is the characteristics of pertaining to a male. Not the characteristics pertaining to a heterosexual male.
Discreet:
2. or showing discernment or good judgment in conduct and especially in speech.
Yes I have the benefit of not being the recognizable stereotypical homosexual male. My homosexuality does not proceed me when I walk into a room. My appearance, demeanor and aura does however. My sexuality is apart of who I am and not all of who I am. I am not ashamed, on the Down Low or in the closet.
As I stated before…
I am a human being first, a man second, a black man third, and a homosexual fourth.
I love and I am sexually attracted to men; specifically masculine men, just as most feminine men are. This does not mean I am a fema-phobe or hate fems as others have suggested.
As has been famously professed, “All Men Are Created Equal”.
My masculinity does not equal me wanting to be heterosexual. As my pro masculinity stance does not equal me being anti-fem.
Are the creators of this website the most masculine men out there? We never said we were. However this website is a manifestation of what we feel is missing in the black gay community and across the spectrum of films, television and the internet; A point of view from the masculine homosexual man of color.
So what if I personally am not sexually attracted to effeminate men who wear lip gloss, rock purses, blouses, high heels and can drop it like its hot and make their ass wobble.
Again this doesn’t mean I am anti-fem. This just means I am attracted to the same thing that many homosexuals are; masculine men.
Feel free to leave your comments.
-Octavius
A very good statement. Although I do have to say that often the actions or opinions of fems do annoy me (bitchiness etc), so I don’t mix with them. But I guess that doesn’t equal hatred.
I don’t think feminine gay men are the only ones guilty of that. Masculine gay men and straight men have their own bitchy ways. I think it’s more of a maturity issue and there are lots of immature men out there. Feminine gay men seem to cling to immaturity longer since it seen as a feminine character trait.
@ocky I guess you might have heard this question before but I have to ask: When you talk about masculine and feminine are you speaking of stereotypical character traits (passive, timid vs. aggressive, confident) or are you speaking of gender expression? I personally don’t see character traits as belonging to a certain gender (There’s something about shy guys). I think that’s insulting to men who cry and women who kick ass. But while I like guys who have personalities that many may consider “fem”, I def like my guy to look like a guy: facial hair, bushy eyebrows, hairy pits… I’m there.
Good post. I can’t thank you and @nick for starting this site. I’ve found so many insightful jewels of wisdom here that address things I’d always wished I had a forum to discuss with other dudes like me. One of my burning frustrations within the scope of the “gay community” has always been the feeling of being unrepresented and ignored. For so long, masculine gay/ bi dudes have been exoticized and objectified in gay culture. Glad somebody had the nutz to step up and give us a pulse and a brain with some sound logic. #salute