We here at Cypher Avenue may seem totally confident and secure in our articles and podcasts but we have just as many insecurities and life drama as the next man. We fuck up and make mistakes on a daily basis. We self evaluate and then contradict our previously held positions constantly. We’re evolving, hopefully in a good way.
No man will or can ever be perfect. No matter how masculine or stylish or handsome or wealthy or cultured or mature or stress-free that he’ll ever be, total contentment will always be his “white whale.” Something he will likely seek out until the day he dies.
Wishing or praying for heterosexuality as a gay man solves nothing, no matter your career, location or family situation. Even if Donnie McClurkin or Stephen Baldwin actually helped you make your hetero dream come true, you would just be trading one “problem” for others. Straight people have stress, depression and fear just as much as any gay man…If not more.
Be it sexuality, health issues, financial pressures, family drama and more…life deals all of us challenging cards.
Its how you face these issues that separates the men from the boys.
Consider the lyrics from the ever intellectual and introspective Lupe Fiasco on his song, “Words I Never Said”:
“I think that all the silence is worse than all the violence.
Fear is such a weak emotion,
That’s why I despise it
We scared of almost everything,
Afraid to even tell the truth.
So scared of what you think of me,
I’m scared of even telling you.
Sometimes I’m like the only person I feel safe to tell it to
I’m locked inside a cell in me,
I know that there’s a jail in you.
Consider this your bailing out, so take a breath, inhale a few.
My screams is finally getting free,
My thoughts is finally yelling through.”
This was a feel good post. Thanks.
That was defiantly a good line from Lupe. That was a great song and a great album. Thanks @nick
Nice lyrics… funny I revealed my sexuality to a co-worker yesterday while at an after work function.
Wow! @ocky male or female? What was their response?
We were drinking and she was a little bit confused / shocked. I just always kinda figured she always knew because she has hung out with former co-workers who are ultra-effeminate that know about me. We still had a good time.
They’re always shocked @Ocky, especially if you don’t fit the stereotype. I mentioned my sexuality to my boss earlier this year because he kept telling me that he could sense something between me and this redbone chick. He’s been saying it forever so I finally said like dude, she’s not my type. He was like I thought you liked light-skinned women. I said it’s not her skin color that’s the problem. It’s the fact that she’s a “she.” He was honestly shocked too. Try having that conversation with your boss. LOL
On the bright side, those effeminate coworkers of yours don’t fit the stereotype either because, apparently, they weren’t gossiping about you to everyone in the office, thus leaving your female coworker in the dark. We’re making progress man. LOL
Concerning my former fem co-workers…wrong. They weren’t gossiping to my female co-workers but were mos def gossiping amongst each other about me.
I stand corrected. Partial progress. But @Ocky, the funny thing about coworkers gossiping about your sexuality is how some of my coworkers take it personal that I didn’t specifically come to them and tell them directly about my sexuality. I’m not closeted but tend not to discuss my private life at work unless it’s to a coworker who might also be my friend. So although some have heard it through the grapevine, they assume I’m still closeted because I haven’t had a sit down talk with them in the break room or something.
Or, they get very quiet when something comes across the radio/tv about gay marriage etc. and I can feel them looking in my direction. Coworkers can be very weird when they suspect you are gay but don’t feel comfortable discussing it directly since I haven’t brought it up to THEM directly. It can be hilarious at times but at other times, very uncomfortable.
I like this post here. Yeah this song really is a truth teller. Lasers is my fav album from Lupe. A lot of the hardcore Lupe fans love his 1st two records. But I really like Lasers.
I do think that I’m on my way to becoming more mature and more of a man because I am facing my problems head on and I am doing a lot of self-reflection. I am getting to the point that I can look in the mirror and be content with who I am completely.
Yes! Yes! Yes! Speak on it!
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True shit! Universal shit!
N lol@ocky