Most Dapped Posts

Attention seeking maybe since nobody has been talking about him lately?

 

Dude…. You have plenty of time to catch up. We are not all given the same opportunities to advance early in life nor as we make our way as adults. If you missed those early opportunities or certain options present themselves now that weren’t available before, make your move. No matter what, you will be better prepared for the future.

Our consumer driven society tends to distort the concept of age. Yet, 30 years old is very early in a career/job that is likely to span 35 years or more. As the article makes clear, planning early is key. If you don’t have a work sponsored 401(k), look into a traditional IRA or a Roth IRA. Consistently putting a little money away for retirement can make a big difference. An advanced healthcare directive is also invaluable. As someone who is single with a capital S and is unable to comfortably rely on siblings or nieces and nephews, I have a long-term care policy in addition to the healthcare directive.

Occasional sacrifices will be required as you seek to put yourself on solid ground for a comfortable and enriching retirement. However, you may not view them as sacrifices once you have achieved your goals. Try not to measure yourself against other people and what they appear to have achieved. They may have started in a much different place than you.

 

Dr. U is a shock jock, self-aggrandizing, narcissist. The only reason he is relevant is that he makes ridiculous statements.

 

Wow, I love this perspective. That's a very valid point. We're so quick to demonize people without offering any solution. Sometimes you really just can't do it on your own and because of the way society is set up, you're not allowed to admit it before it gets to a bad place.

But I still think those individuals shouldn't be working in close proximity to their triggers.

 

... Hetero Supremacy

 

That video though

 

WHAT? GET OUT, of here...... (get it)

 

The way I was raised, no. But based on my surroundings and people I use to hang out with, and let's say I went that path...absolutely. I'd probably have a couple of baby mamas and selling drugs too.

 

You just never know, I try to limit my shit. I feel like porn can limit your zest to get out there and interact with another human. It's too easy to catch your nut within the comfort of your own crib and that's some dudes' downfall.

 

I don't have a problem with folk being out or closeted. I just don't think being discreet is hiding as many in the community do.

Is it me or does "The Community" sound more sexy than "LGBTQ"

 

Depends on how many drinks I've had.

 

My parents know but I know they do not care to meet anyone I will date in the future.

 

What are some of your New Year’s Resolutions for 2017?

I gained ALL 40 pounds that I lost earlier in 2015 back over the past 4 or 5 months due to school stress and LIFE STRESS so I want to drop all that weight off again.

I want to read at least one new (non-fiction, [auto]biographical, and/or self-help) book per month this year. I want to empower myself mentally.

I also want to work on my thought patterns. Different events in life can cause one to be a bit more negative than positive at times.

Not giving excuses for not doing something that needs to be done.

Understanding what I can control and what I cannot control.

I want to learn how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable in life in general.

I want learn how to be comfortable with my flaws and insecurities.

I want to go on more dates and DANG IT I'M KISSING A GUY THAT I AM ATTRACTED TO this year!

 

If whoever posted that only knew the half of it.

 

Boris Kodjoe

 

Btw,I'm claiming these two. MINE

 

I was one of Michael Johnson's early online defenders and my long Cypher Avneue essay on his situation was even mentioned and linked in the BuzzFeed profile mentioned here as a rare opinion that saw through the witch hunting being done to him.

Very glad to hear he will at least get a new trial.

 

Yo. First off, I think it's great that ur doin this! Grown azz gay men bein open and honest, keeping it 100 is sorely lacking. I get it. It's very difficult to be/feel sooo marginalized all of ur life, and not develop a few chips and guards. It broke my heart hearing the level of guard you have up, specifically pertainimg to Nick. He's never made a secret of how hard it is to get you out of the house. It sounds like ur biggest issue is vulnerability. Ur a dope azz dude, no reason for you to be letting the past keep standing in your way man. Making new friends is def difficult in ur day to day, but the last vacay I went on was w @ControlledXaos @klothesminded @questforknowledge, and I met them all here on CA. That's why Im always trying to push you guys into being active participants. The group of active members you guys have built ARE NOT the killers,or bad guys. Camaraderie is not impossible. My closest friend is a str8 dude, and Im the 'best man' in his wedding. Str8s can actually be aight these days man. Ijs, I really appreciate you for doing posts like this. I know it's much easier said than done, but please dont feel like ur only opps to build genuine relationships w good gay guys ended at 30.

 

I get where Colin is coming from but I personally don't agree with him. I get (don't agree) him not voting for a president. But that's not the only thing on a voting ballot. What about your candidates for US Senate, Gov, State Reps and Attorney General. More importantly what about your local city reps who are the ones who are responsible for the police. Or your Judges who determine the sentencing , bail etc, when someone is charged with a crime.

Or what about the California marijuana referendum that would directly impact African American arrested on marijuana drug charges. Not including the other referendum voted for in California include:

• (Again) Proposition 64 · Legalizes marijuana for use by adults 21 and over
• Proposition 57 · Allows parole consideration for nonviolent felons and allows juvenile court judges to decide whether juveniles will be prosecuted as adults
• Proposition 51 · $9 Billion Bond for modernizing K-12, charter, vocational schools and community colleges
• Proposition 52 · Extends existing fee on hospitals to fund coverage for Medi-Cal, uninsured patients, and children's health
• Proposition 56 · Increases taxes on tobacco and e-cigarettes to increase funding for health care for low-income Californians
• Proposition 62 · Repeals the death penalty and replaces it with life imprisonment without possibility of parole

There was NO local candidates that support your vision Kaepernick? You could of at least voted for one of the referendum's at least. To me you kind of lose me if your trying to speak truth to power but you chose not to vote. For me you really can't complain and protest if you don't engage in the civic process. How can you speak when you refuse your seat at the table?

 

Just wait; somebody bougie family member going to try to stunt at the Thanksgiving Dinner

Family: Oh who made dim greens
Boguie family member: "Oh they are special imported "Neah-moin Mah-keesh"

Family: (rolls eyes) you mean u bought them from Neiman Marcus.......... baaah lol


mean while your grandma and older autties looking at you like lol

 

I think you can push for fair treatment within existing frameworks while at the same time building similar or even very new and unique frame works that are based on non-white gay men. I don't think those things are mutually exclusive, but you definitely don't want to be stuck with just trying to fit into established systems that are focused mainly on whites. And those white dominated systems changing to be more diverse will benefit many (non asshole racist) gay white men as well. I also agree that at some point of beating your head against the wall, you have to say 'fuck you' to certain institutions that will not change and stop giving them your time, your money, your support, and your energy-when you realize it is simply being wasted. Cut them loose.

Anyone who would use 'no chocolate, spice, rice, mayo, etc' is an asshole by nature and should be disregarded. That they would use these terms and show their damn faces on dating/hookup apps with no apparent shame shows how they are even worse than they appear because they either are completely ignorant to their insensitive expressions, or they know and just do. not. care. Fuk them.

-Many white gay men are assholes.
-White gay guys named Brad are the devil(I was rejected hurt by at least 3 of those demons)
-I love mayo lol. but I love chocolate, rice, and spice too! It is all good- nice and attractive guys come in all types.

I don't think you have to let up the pressure on white gay institutions, you can keep complaining and demanding fairness at the same time as you are building institutions for non-white gays, as long as you see progress. At some point cut your losses and abandon them-if you do not see progress in a certain time frame, take your time/money/resources/emotions/energy elsewhere where it is acknowledged and appreciated.

*unless you are well connected, very attractive or very wealthy, being white and gay really ain't shit. You are in the majority group-but still close to the very bottom in many ways. The majority of what is out their representing white gays is not representing the majority of white gays.

JMO.

 

I was the overachiever. Valedictorian. Involved in clubs. All that. And was nice to everyone enough where I was voted Homecoming King.

 

I also thought about what it would be like to be a twin (even fraternal). Like do they share some kind of mind link or scriptural bond or something?
Also can their parents and family tell them apart lol Is the spouse of one twin also attracted to the twin's brother?

 

I am from Baltimore, MD. The crabs are ALWAYS good, home of the Ravens and Johns Hopkins Hospital/University (one of the BEST medical and research institutions in the country), and home of The Wire the area I live in, but will be changing soon.

 

This right here^.To an outsider,the rapport we've built around here can probably feel like a lot to jump into.And even now,sometimes I feel like I gain more by observing others' viewpoints and becoming aware of new perspectives.For now,the restrictions are pretty good.I feel like the more people see of what goes on,it'll encourage them to join in.

 

And with one thread,a mass existensial crisis was triggered.

 

It started out as a hobby for me, but Ocky has always been interested in the business aspects of our blogging. Now we're both kinda on the same page but I realize that trying to make money off of the gay audience is impossible unless you are a party promoter, pornographer or hookup site/app developer.

 

Change Jew to Black or Muslim and change Black Gay Man to White Gay Man and this not only would have been a more mainstream story but they would be facing hate crime charges.

 

I agree about the narrative framing of black men in theory. Framing aside, at a certain point, I give up though on defending ig'nant assed nikkas in the name of checking white media. We live in an age where the average teenager on the street with a smartphone has more access to information and knowledge than all the greatest minds in human history from Archimedes to Einstein could ever hope for. So, I'm just through with those walking around willfully stupid on pamphlet-basics about HIV or still embracing "pray the gay away" fucking religious beliefs.

On a calmer note, sometimes the best way to deal with stupid shit is humor and satire. I wish there was a gay/bi version of Chapelle's Show. Every time I hear "pray the gay away," I think of the priest in The Exorcist and imagine some lisping demonic voice going, "Holy water?!? Chile, you bet' throw some mimosas on this bitch, it's Sunday, we having brunch up in this soul!"

 

After dating an HIV positive dude at one point, I'm sympathetic to this guy's views. There is definitely a lot of ignorance and misunderstanding about HIV and I can imagine something like this only contributing to that ignorance. It's better to be able to have conversations instead of just closing yourself off. Nobody is asking anyone to date HIV+ guys, but I think being able to block them automatically might be a little excessive. I know Grindr is mostly for sex, but you never know, maybe you'll miss out on the one time you'd actually be willing to make an exception for someone you otherwise click with. If not, at least allow yourself to get to know someone outside of their status before you decide that it's a dealbreaker.

 

EXACTLY! WTF?