1. If the bar doesn't have Hennessy, they're saying they don't want an 'urban' atmosphere. Do with that what you will.
2. Know your damn order! Dont finally get to the front of the line and finally decide to ask your friends what they want. You will find yourself back, in the back, while being ignored, while in my face.
3. Ask what 'house' is. Sometimes its a decent whiskey/tequila (good house/well vodka/gin is a lot more rare) and u can save urself a few bucks.
4. Don't listen to @African King (who is now hooked on the bottle). Top shelf is usually good for drinking something 'neat' or 'on the rocks', but if ur gonna add juice, don't bother.
5. 'Neat' means no ice, no chaser.
6. 'On the rocks' means over ice, no chaser.
7. 'Chaser' is juice/soda added to the liquor.
8. If your bartender says, 'that's on me' or if you find your tab significantly less than it should be, that means ur bartender fux w you, for whatever reason, and expects to see that love returned in the tip.
9. Stop being scared of opening a tab. Closing you out for EVERY $5 transaction is ridiculous, and that's why the line is so long.
10. ^^ And ur wasting paper.
11. Bring cash. The bartender will remember you as a cash (fast) customer.
12. When you can, tip in cash. Zero time waiting for your 'actual' balance to catch up once things finally clear, and the bartender will skip paycheck taxes, and appreciate you for it. Also, see #9.
13. Don't come w a party of 6 and all decide to try 6 different cocktails and share/taste...unless yall have time. 6 other parties of 6 did the same dumb shit before you and are also still waiting.
14. @Nick Delmacy think's he knows me, and judges... but if you're not an experienced drinker who has a go to liquor (like our resident lush @OckyDub ), go w VODKA! It mixes well w ANY chaser (see above).
15. It's not the price of the alcohol that gives you hangovers, its all of the sugary juices/sodas used as chasers.
16. Vodka and club soda is gay water. Its what all of the body boys and calorie conscious chics drink.
17. Tip ur fukn bartender! Any bartender worth his/her salt will remember a good tipper, and treat you as such.
18. Don't tip the same for a beer, as you would if you got a craft cocktail, w a bartender muddling, and straining shit for your drink.
19. If you're at an open bar, drop at least a $20 when you get your first drink, and you become vip. You WILL be remembered, and a line skipper. At my sister's wedding in Mexico, I dropped $100 on my first drink (I was there all week and was considering the fact that the wedding party obvs didnt have cash in their gowns) and they literally sent me home w bottles of liquor (in my luggage).
20. That said, know that the ppl at these All-inclusives we go to are getting paid pennies to give you the same service that you tip for, back in the states.
21. Remember, you're tipping for the service. 20% if you're happy w said service. If you're such a mensch, then take your ass to the liquor store and go home and make your own damn drinks!