African King's Dating Escapades In Atlanta - Part I

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by African King, Jan 20, 2018.

  1. African King

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    You guys know that I went on a lunch date recently and it was really good. The conversation really got me and I loved looking into his big, beautiful brown eyes and his chocolate sun-kissed skin. He is a very handsome man and he has plenty of amazing qualities. He is very independent, intelligent, career-driven, goal-oriented, personable, funny, nurturing and I could go on and on. Our waitress was late in ordering the food and then after that food was running late but it all did not even matter... we just continued to connect and the conversation was amazing. That's what gets me every time when I meet a man that I am interested in romantically. His conversation. We really got to know each other's backgrounds.

    Any of those living in ATL know that there are a lot of (black gay) men who are beautiful on the outside but they have no substance and their priorities are not in check. But this guy right here... man! I remember when the waitress brought the ticket and I asked her to split the check but he seriously insisted on paying and said don't worry about it. I was shocked like.... DANG! OKAY! I told him he didn't have to do that and he said that it was cool and that he doesn't do that for every guy. Then I remember walking him to his car and he kept insisting to drop me home but I said that would be too much especially since I live south and he lives north in the city. I could not impose THAT much! Then we finally got to his car and we hugged and squeezed each other really tight then that moment came where we pulled away and looked into each other's eyes. I went in for the kiss and enjoyed every bit of those chocolate lips of his! He went his way then I called my Uber since my car is in the shop.

    We agreed to meet again next week once he knows his schedule for work. We text back and forth a bit yesterday evening after our date but today we have not been in communication. How are you guys when you meet someone new that captures your attention? Do you guys reach out first or wait to hear from him? What other advice do you guys have?

    @Nick Delmacy @OckyDub @SB3 @Sean P @DreG @acessential @takeyourmeds91 @NikR @Infinite_loop @ColumbusGuy @ControlledXaos @Michael @lyriq88 @Cyrus-Brooks @RolandG @Jai @Omega Level @Lean Lantern @Artistic Arsonist @Juan-Carlos @Ora Obi
     
  2. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub Fair Use Nigga....Fair Use
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    The 4th Dimension Is MINE!
    I don't wait. If I'm diggin you, imma pick up the phone and call.

    Comparable to the current times/trends...imma text, "are you free to talk", if so...I'm calling you.

    If a dude is feeling you, busy schedule or not, he will make some time to talk to you.

    Trump is a businessman who owns a 100+ building and hotels and still makes time to sleep with porn stars and prostitutes.
     
  3. African King

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    Once I saw that you replied this thread, I picked up the phone and I called the guy. We spoke for a few minutes before he went to work. It was nice and he let me know earlier today that he made it to see his family back in Tennessee.
     
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  4. Aejae

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    The fact that you're even going out and doing this is great. I'm sure you're going to find someone special.
     
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  5. Sean

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    My initial thoughts written out:

    If you are just enjoying the dating experience, enjoy it. Add 2-3 more to the rotation. Everyone knows you aint fckn, so live it up and have yourself a little mini Black Bachelor reality series of your own, and tell us about it.

    :kermit:

    In response to your other questions, I'm cautiously optimistic when I connect with someone I'm feeling after a first date. Plenty of near perfect situations until you delay talking about sexual roles and find out you both want each other's booty.

    I use intuition to determine if I contact first, even if the connection was strong. It works.
     
    #5 Sean, Jan 22, 2018
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2018
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  6. ControlledXaos

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    Can we please stop playing Tit for Tat?

    "Ian gone text him cuz heent text me yet." is why so many people are single now. Over time it will eventually reveal if you are the one who is doing all the initial contact.

    Men do need their space from time to time so it isn't the end of the world if he does not text or call for a few days but if someone is interested they will figure it out.

    Glad you are making progress.
     
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  7. SB3

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    This.
     
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  8. African King

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    Not really trying to do the whole tit for tat thing. I do know that he said he would hit me up and I've yet to hear from him so.... IDK.

    Yeah definitely taking my time. I've had unforeseen circumstances occur over the past few weeks so I can't really throw more dudes in rotation like that. Yeah I just want to remain optimistic but I understand why people are cautious a lot of the time because they have dealt with guys ghosting them in the past. I do hope that I can trust my intuition much more as time progresses.
     
  9. African King

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    Thanks! Maybe not in Atlanta unless it will be long distance since I am moving soon but I do think it is about time to date more for sure.
     
  10. Nick Delmacy

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    Yeah there are no rules to the dating game...Everyone has "wins and losses" playing in the ways that work for them. So I say that to say: Take all advice as just that, advice. If their suggestions sound good to you, use them, if not, don't.

    Atlanta is full of men in relationships who instantly became Relationship Experts just for stumbling into something.

    Just because something worked for one person in the past doesn't mean it will work for you. Especially since all of the men we date and are attracted to are different and all of us have our own individual needs and wants.

    For example: I'm def more of a needy & intimate person...not in a co-dependent type of way, just that I prefer more closeness when dating. But not all men are like me, so getting advice from guys who prefer distance and their own space when dating wouldn't work for me because we're starting on different planes. Their advice may be valid, but it applies to them and their experiences, not to mine.

    Back to your original question: play it by ear...One dope date doesn't make him a boyfriend. Text him when you're thinking about him but don't get bummed out if you don't get an immediate response. Some advice here was not to do tit-for-tat but I def think you gotta be mindful of if you're the one doing all of the heavy lifting in keeping the communication open. If he's not texting you first or even back, that COULD be a sign that he's just not that into you...or maybe not. Play it by ear depending on your needs and the personality of the other dude.

    Def entertain other men though, either through texting or actual dates, don't put all of your eggs in one basket. If your 2018 goal is to find a dude, then approach it like you would if your goal was finding a job. You wouldn't stop after putting in just one application.

    And like I said earlier, take even my own advice with a grain of salt. If it feels right, apply it to your life, if not, don't.
     
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  11. African King

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    This is great advice! There are definitely bits and pieces that I will take from what you said. Yeah in 2018, one of my goals would be to find a good man who can I can claim as my boyfriend (and he can do the same for me). I am just opening myself to new experiences and it is about time.
    I definitely what to learn more about what I do like in a man and what I don't like. I already have an idea with the few experiences I've had in Dallas (during Black Pride last year) and my time in Atlanta during 2016 & 2017 but there is still more to experience!
     
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