Ghosting

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Champagne Papi, Nov 27, 2017.

  1. Champagne Papi

    Champagne Papi is a Featured MemberChampagne Papi side-n*gga paralegal
    Most Comedic Player The 1000 Daps Club Best Gifs

    Joined:
    Dec 1, 2015
    Messages:
    1,155
    Daps Received:
    2,443
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Is anyone here familiar with the term ghosting? Have any of us ever ghosted someone or been ghosted yourself?

    I’ll admit, I’ve ghosted more times than I am proud of and it’s truly one of the worst character traits I possess yeh; it’s proving to be one of the toughest challenges for me to overcome. I’ve been practicing owning up to and apologising for my abrupt disappearances and honestly, hearing the effects of going ghost on someone is fucking me up.

    I just wanted to discuss this topic to examine the reasons why we ghost, to encourage open & honest communication and share skills that could help one another so we could lessen the chances of ghosting someone or being ghosted.
    [​IMG]
     
    BlackOnyx1 and African King dapped this.
  2. RolandG

    Bae Material Squad Leader The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    38
    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2015
    Messages:
    586
    Daps Received:
    1,648
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Georgia
    Dating:
    It's complicated
    I really think that ghosting is the most disrespectful thing to do to someone. I really boils down to cowardice in my opinion. People being scared to tell someone that they aren't attracted to them. Or people feeling like they don't owe someone the courtesy of telling them to move on because they were just a one-night stand. Not gonna lie. I've done it a few times in my life but i stopped doing that some time ago because it really is a character flaw in my opinion. Oh, and i hate when folks say "well they should know that if i'm not responding then that means i'm not interested." Like why the hell can't you just text back and say aye i'm not really feelign this and don't wanna lead you on. Of course others will disagree.
     
  3. Jai

    Jai I sexual person that doesn't have sex...Slap me...
    The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2015
    Messages:
    629
    Daps Received:
    1,044
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    U.S.
    Orientation:
    Asexual
    Dating:
    Single
    To my knowledge, I don't think I've ghosted anyone out of the blue. Usually I'll be fine unless I discover someone has ulterior motives, like trying to have some weird sex connection or something.

    I've warned plenty of folks that I'm not really that much into "interacting" with others and when they try to push me into it, I'll start to distance myself but I always let folks know that.

    Ghosting is extremely rude though. If a guy ever did that without being upfront with me, I'd cut him off for good (which is the point anyway).

    I believe ghosting is also selfish and low-key narrcasitic. It's like one doesnt care about the other person's feelings enough to be upfront with them so they let them dangle on the web of hope until a "strong enough" wind severs the thread and then it's "They finally got the picture". During this time, that other individual could be wondering if they said something that offended you or if your are having financial or family problems. One may believe that they don't want to "hurt the person's feelings" is a good reason to ghost but it comes off more as being selfish and aloof.

    I also personally believe ghosters are canidates for being strong procrastinators in their own life.

    I think an effective way of combating ghosting is to learn to take responsibility for ones actions. If one is not feeling that person then tell them, if you can't do that then that is a clear indication that one isn't as upfront (or "real" as they call it) as they think they are.

    I'd probably sit down and evaluate why I don't have the courage to tell this person I'm not interested? Why am I just kinda letting them hang like that even though I know they will still be interested in me when I'm not in them? Is this just to nudge my ego? Am I okay with someone ghosting me, even if I really like him/her?

    Communication is key. Personally, I think texting makes things way too easy. Tell me to my face. I think face to face interactions are on a decline, unless they involve a fight between two raging niggas or this week's baby Mama drama post on Worldstar HipHop.
     
    Champagne Papi dapped this.
  4. jusrawb

    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Sep 8, 2015
    Messages:
    286
    Daps Received:
    439
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    VA
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    In a Relationship
    I've only ghosted people that I thought were friends but realize it could never be more than associates, so i just take a step back. I think we all have been there.
     
    Champagne Papi dapped this.
  5. BlackguyExecutive

    BlackguyExecutive Charge D'Affaires
    Squad Leader Best Site Comments The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    32
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    979
    Daps Received:
    2,315
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    World Traveller
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Married
    Can you really ghost people in a town or city where you live? I never really understood the concept unless you really move all possibility of seeing the other person again. I just think the much easier solution would be to be upfront and 100. I would much rather someone let me know straight up they are no longer interested or were never interested than just disappearing randomly. I definitely co-sign with previous commenters, don't puss-out and ghost people, it is never a good look.

    With that being said, if you are trying to have no strings attached or anon encounters that should be discussed at the forefront...so everyone involved are on the same page.
     
    Champagne Papi and African King dapped this.
  6. African King

    Squad Veteran Most Valuable Player The 1000 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    28
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    1,486
    Daps Received:
    3,283
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta, Georgia
    Orientation:
    Homosexual
    Dating:
    Single
    I have not been out trying to meet men for several months now but I think it is just something people need to work on. Be honest and upfront about how you feel. If you're into a man (or not), then just let him know! WTH?!
     
    Champagne Papi and BlackOnyx1 dapped this.
  7. Dean

    Dean Lurker

    Age:
    31
    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2017
    Messages:
    19
    Daps Received:
    32
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Dating:
    Single
    I've ghosted a few but it's always brought on by them. If Ive reached the point that I can ghost you it's probably better off for you because more than likely I've already dismissed you in my head so my mouth will be extra reckless and I don't fight fair. I feel I'm doing them a favor by not telling them how much of a fuckin loser they are to their face.
     
    Champagne Papi dapped this.
  8. Sean

    The 100 Daps Club Supporter

    Age:
    38
    Joined:
    Aug 21, 2015
    Messages:
    467
    Daps Received:
    702
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    DFW
    Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Dating:
    Single
    Just another example of human behavior gone wild with the proliferation of technology. Ghosting isnt anything new. I mean, that's what we used to call "hit it and quit it." (Sex doesnt necessarily have ti be involved.) It is rude and inconsiderate, but now we have the capacity to meet more people--quickly--and move on to the next without the burden of being labeled a dog for ghosting....or hittin and quittin. Women do it just like men do in the hetero world.

    but blame technology. it has brought a lot of bad shit that was already happening to light and escalated it. Technology makes it real easy and convenient to be an asshole and we have had to accept it, which is why asshole behvior, like ghosting, continues.
     
  9. BlackOnyx1

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    23
    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2015
    Messages:
    119
    Daps Received:
    128
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago,Illinois
    Dating:
    Single
    i agree that it is very disrespectful, i've had many guys ghost me and i've felt so hurt about it cause i never got closure and still till this day i do think about some of the guys who went ghost on me and have analyzed myself to see what i did wrong and how to fix myself but also i realize those guys were and are cowards they are just some bitch made ass dudes, in other words fuckboys who think they are good dudes, when in fact they are shitty! i also agree that these fuck niggas should at least text if not call and let you know they aren't feeling this and don't wanna lead you on like WTF!
     
    Champagne Papi and Mrmack8913 dapped this.
  10. BlackOnyx1

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    23
    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2015
    Messages:
    119
    Daps Received:
    128
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago,Illinois
    Dating:
    Single
    THANK YOU! BE UPFRONT AND HONEST! is it that hard to do nowadays?
     
    African King dapped this.
  11. NikR

    Bae Material The 1000 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2016
    Messages:
    532
    Daps Received:
    1,175
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Washington, DC
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Single
    Is it bad that I generally expect to never hear from ppl again?

    But, yeah I've ghosted once or twice. And both times I did it specifically to hurt. The most recent episode was a few months ago after I took this guy out on a nice date. He behaved deplorably at a restaurant and during the rest of the evening and I never wanted to speak or hear from him again. He knew I was upset with him and he didn't want to talk about how terribly he acted. So I decided not to waste my time or life. I ignored texts and calls. And then I cut him loose. Yeah, terrible, I know. That's why I don't allow myself to get angry. Angry me is cruel.
     
    Champagne Papi and Mrmack8913 dapped this.
  12. Mrmack8913

    Supporter

    Age:
    29
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2017
    Messages:
    23
    Daps Received:
    46
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Charlotte
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Single
    Like others have said modern tech has made ghosting an even bigger epidemic than it was pre-internet/social media. I despise ghosting and always try to be upfront with a guy if I'm just not feeling him. The whole mindset of "if I don't respond that's your answer" is complete nonsense and cowardice. Its amazing how men who pride themselves on being real be the main ones pulling this stunt. If anything ghosting should be a last resort after you turn someone down but they still insist. Unfortunately most use it as a default smh. Really it all boils down to respect. I could see if its a one time hookup but dudes like to ghost after being in your face for months on end and pretending to like you.
     
    Champagne Papi dapped this.
  13. Boaxy

    Boaxy SO FIERCE
    The 100 Daps Club

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2017
    Messages:
    164
    Daps Received:
    120
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Los Angeles, Ca. U.S.
    Orientation:
    Gay
    Dating:
    Single
    Yes I've been ghosted before. It's sad and worse when people make excuses for it too, to sort of justify that they are ghosting and want you to get the hint. I remember this guy I was talking to kept making excuses to meet up or get together. He had to work, or the place was too far, he would just be silent for days after trying to arrange things. It's crazy.
     
    Champagne Papi and Goldentree dapped this.
  14. BlackOnyx1

    The 100 Daps Club

    Age:
    23
    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2015
    Messages:
    119
    Daps Received:
    128
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Chicago,Illinois
    Dating:
    Single
    well it's not terrible it's just that he was acting immaturely so what did he expect? and when you asked "is it bad that you generally expect to never hear from people again?" i've become that way because nowadays you don't know with these fragile guys and their brokenness/issues
     
    Champagne Papi dapped this.
  15. Ora Obi

    Ora Obi Lurker

    Age:
    28
    Joined:
    Jan 8, 2018
    Messages:
    8
    Daps Received:
    15
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Atlanta
    Orientation:
    SGL
    Dating:
    Single
    Yeah, ghosting is not good! It's disrespectful and you are not acknowledging someone's emotions when you do it.

    I recently went on a date with a guy that I thought was nice but we didn't have much in common. After not responding to a call and a text two days after our date, I text him and was honest about not feeling him. He responded THREE days later (as he had every right to because he must have been mad or disappointed) telling him that he appreciated me not ghosting.

    I know how it feels to be left out in the open wondering if you said or did something wrong. IT's not a good feeling.

    Even if it's not easy, let the man know so you both can move on!
     
    African King dapped this.

Share This Page

Loading...