Polyamorous love. Is it all it’s cracked up to be? How could you possibly know until you’ve given it a try? Writer Jeff Leavell and his husband Alex have been together for almost five years. A year and a half ago, they opened their relationship up to include a third man, Jon, and the three became a triad. Related: Learn How This Gay Throuple Remains “Equal” And “Exclusive,” But Don’t Ask About Sex! “Before I found myself in one, I resisted the idea of a polyamorous relationship,” Leavell admits in a new piece published by Vice. “I made fun of my friends who were in ‘triads.’ I thought the whole concept was ridiculous. But when we met Jon, my perspective shifted.” Of course, polyamorous relationships have been around forever. But it wasn’t until recently that people have started speaking openly about them. More and more folks are giving polyamory a try. A recent online survey, which surveyed approximately 5,000 people between 2012 and 2015, found that nearly 15 percent of respondents either were currently in or had previously been in a polyamorous relationship, and 25 percent were open to the idea. And dating websites like gaypolyamorous.com and polymatchmaker.com have begun springing up all over the Internet. Related: Guys Reveal How They Really Feel About Open Relationships Leavell continues: “Falling in love with Jon—and watching Alex fall in love with Jon—taught me that there is more love out there in this world than I had ever imagined.” But it wasn’t without complications. “We struggled in the process,” he says. “Three-way fucking is hot; three-way fighting is a nightmare.” Other challenges, Leavell writes, included the obvious: Jealousy. I’ve found that if I ever feel jealousy, the root of that emotion almost always comes from not feeling good enough for Jon or Alex. Jealousy always equals insecurity for me. And jealousy is normal—it happens all the time, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in. It’s part of being human. But at the end of the day, it’s how we react to that jealousy that matters. I constantly have to remind myself to shift the focus of my thoughts back to me:What am I really afraid of? Why do I not believe I am deserving of all this love? Then, of course, there is the stigma and stereotypes that many people associate with polyamorous love. This, Leavell says, was only intensified by the fact that the three men are gay. Someone told me I was proving every right-wing religious conservative’s wildest fears about gay people true—that we were all amoral sluts, incapable of monogamy or serious relationships, who couldn’t take marriage seriously. And this dude was gay. My response was: So what? Why can’t I live my life on my own terms? Isn’t that what we’re fighting so hard for—the right to live how we choose? To not have my love and sex dictated by some arbitrary social structure? Why should anybody tell me how and who to love? Ultimately, however, Leavell says he’s happier as a triad than he was as a couple. Polyamorous love, he writes, can “open doors inside you that you never knew existed—and it may even bring an opportunity to grow.”
I am down for a threesome, particularly bc I am a single man. And threesomes is a freaky thing I like to engage in as a single man. As for being a future, non-single man, I could not see myself being in a relationship with two people at the same time. My valuing intimacy with just person and being selfish with my duo relationship would kick in immediately.
No.No.No.No.No. ....at least for me. Not even double the trouble-way more than that. Why did you stop with your 'good morning posts' cusp?
Physically yes! (providing STI status verified) Psychologically, no. Not because of moral objections but because I'm an natural introvert and it's hard enough dealing with entertaining one other person's baggage let alone two or more. As Johnathan Rauch wrote an introvert's motto is "I'm okay, you're okay in small doses..."
I am a bit jaded so my motto is "I may be fuked up in ways, but you are not sh#t either in some way or another so shut up" And there is a difference between having three way sex, and having a three way relationship. I could(and have) done the first, no way for the second. Why be in a relationship if it is going to involve 3 or 4 or even more people? Too complex for true trust and intimacy(which is actually kind of rare at least among gays and hard enough for just two gay guys) JMO.
I've never been in one at least not intentionally but I want to say yes but I don't think I can its one of those things that would have to be in to say one way or the other.
Yes I noticed. By the way, our rain will be heading your way and then our nicer moderate dryer air will be following after that. It rained hard and there were even some flood warnings out-I slept through the whole thing. Whatever we get you seem to get 2 or 3 days later.
I actually am a weather nerd. No shame in that. No worse than that anime crap so many people love lol(no offense anime people!)
No. Just no. It's already difficult to get one dude wrapped up- now u wanna add a twist? What the hell kind of witchcraft is this? I've said it before, I'll say it again- my work is dramatic enough. I don't need drama at home. I'm a simple man with simple needs. I'll go ahead and take the next exit.
