OKCupid is not for Black gay men looking for relationships. Acknowledge it and move on.

Discussion in 'LGBT News and Events' started by RolandG, Dec 28, 2015.

  1. RolandG

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    Here's a profile update I started and @Nick Delmacy thought it might make a good conversation. Anyone else experience this or was it unique to just me? What websites actually give black gay men, who are attracted to other black gay men, a true chance at finding love?

    RolandG I did my own little experiment and discovered that OKCupid is for white men and black men who like white men. Thank you and goodnight.
    Today at 6:49 PMEditDeleteReport Post
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    1. [​IMG]
      Nick Delmacy
      Yeah I been saying this for a minute....I would add that its for black men who like white republican sugar daddy men...it is in Atlanta at least.
      Today at 7:28 PM Delete Report Post
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    2. [​IMG]
      RolandG
      @Nick Delmacy , Yeah, a friend and I were debating this fact. He didn't think that all the black men on there preferred white men. It was interesting. To prove my point, i set up two fake profiles, one of a black attractive man and one of an attractive white man and messaged the same black men....
      6 minutes ago Edit Delete Report Post
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    3. [​IMG]
      RolandG
      Out of a sample of about 25 black gay men, not one responded to the message from the black man but they all responded immediately to the white man with smiley face emojis and comments about how they preferred white men. SMH Ain't no black gay man gonna find black love on there.
      5 minutes ago Edit Delete Report Post
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    4. [​IMG]
      Nick Delmacy
      This is awesome. You should def copy this story into a thread for discussion.
      3 minutes ago Delete Report Post
     
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  2. cypher21

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    Wow 25! That's crazy! Now I don't feel as bad when this one guy (who liked my profile so what was I supposed to think?) didn't reply to this semi-lengthy message I sent..he was black and now that you bring this up it makes sense because we had a 90% match and I'm reading his profile and answers thinking "Ok we seem to have a lot in common..". What are we to do indeed. :francis:
     
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  3. RolandG

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    Jacked????? Grinder?????? Adam4Adam????? Those are the only options for black gay men who like BLACK GAY MEN.
     
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  4. cypher21

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    It appears so. I've been on Jack'd too but kept getting messaged by creepers * shivers* :mjlol: lol and also I got the impression that those were more hook up sites, which is fine but not what I'm looking for right now.
     
  5. RolandG

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    My theory is that black gay men don't use dating websites to find men. That can be the only explanation. Maybe they use Facebook and instagram but I can say, with 100% certainty that they aren't finding love on OKCupid. I remember back in the day when i was in college, Gay.com was pretty much the same. All you saw were White4Black and Black4White. You never saw black men advertising for other black men as openly and specifically as that.
     
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  6. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    I had a similar experience on OKCupid. Stuck a 0% pickup average on there. Even at my worse I at least get 50-60% minimum on other apps.

    As I've said before, I'm not mad at interracial dating or black men only seeking out white men...However, I did find it interesting that this particular website/app seems to only attract black men looking for white.

    I wonder if this is the case for many of the premium pay sites where you have to pull out your credit card to gain access to more dating features and options.
     
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  7. RolandG

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    Admittedly, I haven't used a lot of dating sites and I've never used Apps but the dating sites I've used cater, almost exclusively, to white men and black men who only like white men. Like you, I don't think there is anything wrong with interracial dating, but also like you, it was interesting that this particular site only attracts black men looking for white.

    On a side note, I'm ending the experiment now after about 40 black men. It's depressing because the profile of the black man was HOT. Masters degree, shirtless pic with six pack, outgoing and nerdy and he is getting no love. LOL If i were him, i would definitely be taking a huge hit to my ego not knowing that I didn't stand a chance to begin with.

    On another side note, I'm also ending the experiment because there are about 40 black men who think they have a connection with a some attractive white man who is probably not even gay in real life. I mean, I could've scheduled dates with all of them if I wanted to but that would've been playing with people's emotions. LOL
     
  8. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    This is interesting on a couple fronts:

    I wonder just how many of the "perfect man" profiles are actually fake on these sites...

    And am I naturally more attracted to and compatible with black men who like white men? Most of the black men on the black dating sites are only into shade, sex and divas. The black dudes on the sites like OKCupid seem to have more fleshed out profiles and interests, yet they not checking for dudes who look like me, no matter how mentally and sexually compatible we might be.
     
  9. RolandG

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    And am I naturally more attracted to and compatible with black men who like white men?

    I didn't think of it from this perspective. I hate to compare the "quality" of black men on OKCupid to other sites but the black men on OKCupid tend to be the variety of black gay men that I like for sure. My little experiment was really eye opening because I tried to probe these black men and get them to tell me their true feelings about other black gay men. Nick, you would be shocked at some of the things they had to say when they thought they were talking to a college educated, preppy white man. I wish I could post some of the comments here without putting people on blast, but needless to say, most of them had this warped idea of the intellect of black gay men. I still can't decide if they were borderline prejudiced or just felt that black gay men were boring. Most of the black gay men on there liked stereotypical "white" activities. I even made the two fake profiles almost the same in terms of education, activities, aesthetics etc so that there wouldn't be a huge difference in the quality of men except their skin color. The fact that these black gay men still chose the white man lead me to believe they are going off of skin color 100% of the time. One black dude even went so far as to say he sets his filters so that he only sees white men. Smh
     
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  10. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    To be honest, I've already accepted that as much as I love black men...I will likely end up with someone non-black. I'm very "urban" in many ways but I'm also a weird, nerdy, atypical black man who doesn't relate to "black shit" that much when dating. For example, I don't view most of the black gay couples out there like the dudes on Love and Hip Hop as romantic and something to aspire to...Other black gays worship shit like that...On the other hand, I'm not so atypical that I'm eager to go hiking, fishing, camping and the rest of those "white gay" activities. Maybe Latino or Asian is the route for me, lol
     
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  11. OhSheit

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    lol what? I thought most fans of that show KNOW that its storylines are fake. That relationship was/is toxic and no longer exists now that the season is over.

    But anyway, I just came across this instagram page Interracial Dating (@blackguys4whiteguys) • Instagram photos and videos
    enjoy :) send in your application
     
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  12. RolandG

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    Asian or Latino? You've narrowed it down to two groups? LOL There are other weird, nerdy, atypical black men, they just happen to like white men. Actually, the ones I saw on Cupid either liked white men or they turned out to be feminists which was strange. What's funny Nick, I think you may not find the atypical black gay man in Atlanta but I met some cool black nerdy men in San Diego that would be perfect for you. I think you need to go West my friend. LOL
     
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  13. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    My point was that a lot of black gay men aspire to be like those web series/reality show relationships...drama and all...
     
  14. Dr. Strange

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    Hmm, I don't know about moving to the West. I live in LA and I can't say many good things about the dating pool. Especially for black men.
     
  15. Lean Lantern

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    I've had a similar experience on OkCupid. For the months that I was on there, I've only ever messaged one white guy on there....and that was simply because I knew him personally and didn't know he was gay.

    Out of that, every guy that I messaged was either Black or another person of colour (poc). But nearly every Black guy that I messaged, about 85% of them told me they were exclusively into dating only white men and that they were "flattered" (whatever the f*ck that means).

    Honestly speaking yeh, as a Black man that hopes to be with another Black dude, it was disheartening to see the lack of interest other gay Black men had for their fellow gay Black man....it kind of hurt me feelings actually.

    But, overall, my experience on the website was positive. I got to meet other gay men of colour and glad I got to experience dating some.
     
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  16. African King

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    Wow that is something. I was just thinking about making an OkCupid account because other black men on here have told me they've found other black & Latino men off of OkCupid.

    I will let you know how it goes for me lol.
     
  17. mojoreece

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    I really like that okcuid has questions and the profiles are more detailed. I would think that since the demographic was so young people would be more open. I wonder what online dating sites are for black gay men who want to date pther black gay men.
     
  18. grownman

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    I hate this thread because it's true. I didn't even read of all the comments. It is true.

    None of those sites are for black men. Zoosk, Ok Cupid, Match.com and every other one of them muthfukers out their. I know from personal experience . I get winks from black men and views but when I respond back nothing. It's depressing because that's what my preference is.
    The white guys view me, wink, and want to meet the same day.
    The only thing that keeps me hopeful is that this site proves they are out there. We are scattered but we do exist.
     
    #18 grownman, Dec 29, 2015
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2015
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  19. alton

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    Dont get mad at the site for the peoples' preferences on it. LOL If majority of Black/Latino men on Jack'd/ Grindr/ Adam4Adam (is that site still a thing?) and whatever other "low grade" meeting site are only looking for a "good time, no strings, no fats, no fems..." and the majority of Black/Latino men that are on sites like OKCupid/ Match/ etc etc are only looking for white dudes {with money} then what does that say about us? LOL The site itself has little to nothing to do with it, they just making money like any other site.
     
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  20. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    I missed this originally but you may be on to something. All of the "better" men I've dated I've met in person at a house party, in a club, through a friend or just out in public. I've NEVER dated anyone long term from meeting them on a dating or hookup site. Just my experience but I'm also a somewhat sociable guy who feels slightly confident enough to approach guys if I get a sense that the mutual interest is there. I know many men are socially awkward and can not do this.
     
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  21. grownman

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    I will say that my ex and I met on BGC of all places. We were together for 5yrs-buts that an anomaly.
     
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  22. grownman

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    Yes. I used to be on all three.
     
  23. grownman

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    Latino would be my alternative.
     
  24. SB3

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    That was a dope lil experiment @RolandG. Rly disappointing results, but still.

    Just get on christian mingle, get some coins for doin some quick ho shyt, n call it a day.
     
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    Brady Bunch jan crazy eyes.GIF

    Et tu?
    image.gif
     
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