Surviving Dating with Apps.

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Luke Evergreen, Oct 11, 2016.

  1. Luke Evergreen

    Luke Evergreen Squad Member

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    I always wanted to try to be traditional and down to earth with the human connections things, meeting people in real life blah blah but it's really hard to meet gay guys in real life in my area and it's not socially acceptable to just walk up to a guy you like and ask him if he likes guys if you have no idea what so ever, just like that, you will cause drama.

    Also I'm a pretty shy guy so I'm not gonna be going to gay parties and stuff anytime soon.

    Despite all the pessimism about apps like Grindr Jack'd etc, they aren't the worst things to ever happen to the gay world and can be useful if you now how to use it right. I've met some cool gay guys there, some cooler than my friends i met in real life and we haven't hook up and forgotten each other yet.

    Can you guys share any rules you have made and learned on how to not get robbed, killed or stalked by some weirdo online?

    How do you protect your personal information without looking shady and making yourself look like the creep?

    What key questions do you ask?

    How fast should the conversation or relationship move?

    How often should you text him?

    When should you have the first date? And what are some good ideas?

    How many days or dates until you guys can kiss or fool around?

    When and what should you know about them before introducing them to your other friends?
     
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  2. Lancer

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  3. Aejae

    Aejae Socially Awkward Aejae
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    I don't know how to attract dudes outside apps. Talk about hooking up with dudes, I can't even get to know PEOPLE in general in the real world. I don't know; maybe it's because I've been a quiet and shy person all my life.
     
    #3 Aejae, Oct 12, 2016
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2016
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  4. Luke Evergreen

    Luke Evergreen Squad Member

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    Same with me, I'm very awkward in real life but i have no problem expressing myself in texts, apps are kind of an icebreaker for me.
     
  5. Luke Evergreen

    Luke Evergreen Squad Member

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    These are some decent tips, you pointed out an area where i fail especially, i always says " we should hang out some time" but i have neither any idea of the day nor location which is really vague and lazy... I should really be brave and send a voice message. As you said even if i know what his face looks like i have NO IDEA how they act, speak or dress which will be REALLY awkward if he's nothing like i expected.
     
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  6. SwagJack

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    Dude I can't call it. I had Grindr on my phone for all of 24 hours before I deleted it. Sooo many white guys (podcast reference) hitting me up for the bbc. Meat market central. At this stage of the game, that just ain't me no more. I've kinda done it all so I need intellectual stimulation before I get sexually aroused these days. My straight homeboy convinced me to get a Tinder account. tHad some pretty dope experiences thus far.
     
  7. Aejae

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    Yeah, especially since I can also think about what to say. Being face to face in engaging conversation, or trying to, cause alot of anxiety in me as well, and I HATE awkward silence. It could be two seconds or 28 minutes, I just do not like it, even if it's by me.
     
  8. DreG

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    Try going with something like "I was thinking about checking out the (coffee shop,book store,mall) this weekend maybe.Would you be free?" Or ask him what about his upcoming plans and offer to meet up in the middle of that .Like,if he's going shopping or something ,ask if he'd like to meet up at the store or something.There's enugh flexibility in those plans,and you have some sort of direction as to how and when you'll hang out.
     
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  9. DreG

    DreG is a Featured MemberDreG Art Heaux
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    This is still often an issue with me during one on one interactions with people I'm not used to.It helps if you're in public and you have things(people walking by,locations you're passing,food you're eating,your impression of the meet up location) to comment on.Asking questions about them is good too.That way,you're learning about them and are giving them the floor.I'm assuming by this point you awill have talked before,so also follow up on earlier topics like shared interests,hometowns,whatever,stuff like that .
     
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  10. DC.

    DC.
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    It's definitely hard meeting people in public because some gay men not even be as open about their sexuality ether. So for me I've had the best luck with Jack'd, I dont even bother with Grindr. I find guys on Jack'd (at least in my area, take more time getting to know someone)
    So I usually dont even give a guy my number if we havent been at least speaking consistently on the app for at least a week. I just dont like too many people having my number for no reason. And in terms of meeting in person, I think it all depends the connection you have with them. However i dont meet in person with them without facetiming first, and if they dont have an iphone we have to find an alternative, because sometimes you just never know. As for how often you text them, I think as often as you should because the more you two converse, the more you guys hopefully get to know more about each other.

    As for first date, for me I feel the first time meeting them should not be a date, it should be like a meet up at a park or something like that, then based off of how you feel in person decide whether or not you want to take them on a date. Because it's not everyone on the apps you want to date, some you may just want to befriend. and as for the fooling around or kissing question, I think it depends on the connection you have with the person, but if you ever want to be on the safe side, I say kissing can be even upon first meeting them if the connection is that electrifying. As for "fooling around" definitely hold off on that especially if you planning on dating them.

    And only introduce them to your friends if it's serious truth be told, meaning you guys are definitely at a dating stage if not I don't really see the point. And as for how fast it should move, it should move at a gradual pace, but it's four months in and nothing has occurred or even been discussed someone's friendzoning someone or maybe you should move on at that point.

    Hope this helps.
     
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