Best Posts in Forum: LGBT News and Events

No ma'am, you still got the strength of a grown ass nigga

 

Thanks for posting this. Until this, I hadn't heard anything from her pov. I will say, that I'd have loved for her to, instead, have told him, 'if you have a problem w MY son, and what he does in MY house, then you can gtfo!

 

Excellent piece. To invalidate masculinity would be to invalidate femininity. One is not inherently default over the other; you can't describe one without the other. As you said, the real discussion should be about dispelling hyper-masculinity as well as the other extreme.

 

It's not easy to accept yourself when your, family and community don't accept you. It took me well into my 30s to come to grips with myself. I'm one the lucky ones. Some people never get to the point of self acceptance.

 

This is why I have such a problem with the 'queer' label. It doesn't apply to me because I don't feel included into that mob that wants you to conform. Queer does not like masculine men. Feminine females are okay, because they are always idolized but males? Nope. You better swish, shashay, and talk with a lisp for them.

I am really over the whole thing.

Do I feel there is a point where people can be forgiven? Yes. I'll use Paula Deen as an example.

Because I could not possibly be surprised by a white person of a certain age having said anything negative about Black people at a certain period of time in public. We know they do it in private. We do it in private. Everyone is a little bit prejudiced and stereotype. She tried to apologize and keep it moving. She did that but I still think more wytppl got butt hurt over her than Black people. She's got a whole online channel now, her restaurants still have good food (I went after the debacle), and FoodTV still gives her credit on the recipes she has on their site today.

This is what I think will happen....he will reluctantly apologize again. The Oscar committee will table him and 3-10 years from now, barring any further scandals, he'll be asked to host again.

I never thought he was all that funny to begin with.

 

but did yall read the comments on Queerly lol
I mean if u not interested just don't respond

U can only feel guilty if u got ur own internal issues u dealing with or u really just attracted to white dudes
oops did i say that haa lol

 

For straight women being "girl friends" with an effeminate gay man is all upside and very little downside. They get girlfriend who will cheer them on right or wrong, give them advice, tips on clothes hair and makeup. They get some to use an emotional dumping ground when their lives or relationships(particularly with a bf, baby daddy, or husband) is going to shit. They pretty much get all the benefits of having a guy in the friend zone without any pressure for sex.

 

/thread

If I'm not disrespecting you or negatively affecting the quality of your life, please leave me alone if I don't want to go on a date with you.

 

Transgendered men are female when it's convenient. Biologically female but want kids? No problem! Get pregnant. Biologically male but still like to top? No problem! Remain forever pre op.

I really don't understand why a person who now identifies as male could expect that they'd be accepted at a female school. It would seem that you'd want to be accepted as male across the board as that's what you'd identify as. Apply to Morehouse. Or who knows? Maybe that's too scary because we men are sexual predators and could r...hey! who smells like bacon?

 

'Transitioning' in 5, 4, 3, 2, ........

 

Consider this, Yousef Mack is one man that has come to some level of notoriety. How many other men do you believe are out their living like this?

Also, is he really Gay, or did he say "Gay" because often it is easier to come out as gay than "Bisexual". However, inevitably, we have to take him for his word. So, he's gay.

I would love understand his mind and life: Emotionally what he has gone through? Why so many women and kids.? I bet understanding his emotional/sexual progression would probably help many many brothers out there.

 

interesting take. i imagine jamal was initially slated to have a white boo because lee daniels projects so much of his own pathology onto his work. he peddles so much in anti-blkness in real life that he strikes me as someone who definitely has a white lover (i just googled to confirm my suspicion). with a real-life white partner, lee crafts a beautiful union btwn jamal and a white boo after, as i hear, jamal's string of toxic or dead end situationships with blk men.

i watched an interview years ago where daniels said that most of the characters from the show were remixes of ppl from his past. apparently, jamal got thrown in the trash can by the dad for being gay which was a real life thing for daniels. so plans for white boo seem like a projection more than anything.

 

From a historical point yes...I do think its relevant. Folk need to know we've always existed.

 

This was an interesting read. I'm very guilty of many of the things expressed in this article.

First, I do tend to cover up certain mannerisms just to fit a certain caricature that everyone in the straight world is used to. I'll deepen my voice and keep a stoic, manly attitude, especially at work where I don't want to encounter issues with my sexuality. The second job I've worked at, I tried being that open and proud guy, and it led me into some borderline serious issues with some co-workers.

Second, I don't feel at home in the gay community. Cypher Avenue is the closest place I have to saying, " this is where my fellow brethren are." The club scene, the hook-up app scene, and the bar scene are all a hot mess. The drugs, the cattiness, the occasional violence, and the non-stop sex makes this lifestyle seem hedonistic and pointless.

My challenge for the gay community, and something I wish to help partake in, is building a structured environment for all of us. A process where the young ones can learn of the culture and integrate in smoothly, a network of jobs and careers (not just Hollywood) that we can connect to one another for the adults, and as we get older, a support system for the older gay men. I imagine the support system like the medical professionals who make home visits instead of nursing homes. In addition to all of this, we need mandatory mental health workshops where we can support one another in the trails and tribulations of being a gay man in society. Moreover, besides the club, we need to get involved in amateur league sports, hiking trips, camping events, or other ways we can connect besides that dark, underground culture that leads to nowhere in life, but loneliness.

 

This is funny.
If this article was written about "DL" men of color it would have a darker and more menacing tone to it.
This is a soft ball article about why a "straight" white man can have sex with another man as long as he views him as "straight" like him. Bud-sex. Really
(grabs clutch and walks out the door)

 

Why is it so hard for people to understand that gay people are varied? We have enough problems trying to get straight people to see this, let alone gays. All these different subcultures but we are supposed to be the same boa wearing, tighty whitey and tennis shoes wearing, excellent dancing, and ever so stylish blobs of meat.

These vocal "queers" just want everyone to be gay robots modeled after them.

 

Thanks for posting this. I have come to recognize that my parents were preparing me at a very young age to stand up against that mold that was "engineered for me" <-That is brilliant by the way. My experience as a black man was shaped by my parents reinforcing that I do the things I wanted to and to not fear rejection of any kind. I always wonder why my dad had conditions for everything but I have now realized he was preparing me. For example, I wanted to play varsity soccer but I could only do it if I tried out for the school play. I wanted to play blues music but my mom said I could join the blues band only if I tried out for choir. I liked mixed martial arts and cooking but my parents made me do the most demanding summer camp programs. At the time, I thought all of it was too much but I have now come to recognize that they prepared me to be rejected, to overcome adversity, to try hard, to be adaptable, to reject artificial categories. By the time I came out, I was a pretty well adjusted young man, I personally new gay men and women and was cultured enough to recognize there is a vast world out there, I was a the black kid who played varsity soccer and the cello and sang classical music and got a black belt in mixed martial arts, and loved cooking, so to add gay to that list was just another little attribute that didn't compare to how I knew I would never be a good enough cello player to be in the New York Philharmonic or my skills at soccer would not land me a college scholarship. Yet, I waited to come out until I was 20 years old. Why because of some of the sentiments cited in previous post but also because I had to do what I needed to do when I was ready. I think that is the lesson we need to empower gay/sgl men with. Do what you want to do and do it when you are ready to do it.

 

They all look at hot mess. They're the embodiment of gay stereotypes. I find it rather amusing they don't want to be stereotyped when they fit that mold. Sorry I just can't contain my laughter.

 

Trans men tend to look more like their cis gender "peers". After facial hair and muscles, there's not much to hide other than chest scars from Breast tissue removal. Most people are not going to ask to see a dick if the body and face match up.

A Trans man can go to most gyms and no one would bat an eye in the locker room. They could be a Never Nude and with boxers for underwear there's no obvious print or bulge expectation. A Trans female would have a much more difficult time in a similar environment.

 

I don't necessarily see the problem here and I certainly don't see the connection to fatherhood. We become so accustomed to projecting our own insecurities on children. Clearly, this boy likes to play dress up and has been inspired by drag culture. I am sure as time moves forward he will develop other interests or become a fierce drag queen who makes more money than all of us.

I think as long as he is dressed appropriately for his age and maturity level and doing so in safe spaces, let the kid be free.

I also applaud the parent(s) for being affirming. So many kids are damaged before they reach adulthood because of adults who haven't quite worked out their own insecurities.

 

All thanks to "Abraham", it's descendants, and their infectious, back-assward, exploitative, "I'm Better than Everyone Else around me because my Beliefs are Written down in a Book" mentality havin' ass adherents.

 

What in what I wrote implied all that? Read better, homie.

 

I think this is true especially in the politically correct world we live in, the simple fact that I am a black gay male veteran as led me to some significant opportunities in my career. Just saying....if you got it USE IT!!

 

Cosign. But, I will say that I 'get' why they're 'passing'. In all fairness, a visible platform of black gay men who go against the images we often complain about on here, doesn't exist. Those black guys go live their lives quietly in Discreet City, USA. Thus, we end up with a bunch of isolated blk guys ostracized by the greater blk community, seeking solace where they're at least accepted, even if not celebrated. The reason why we know these men is because they operate in the gay mainstream world.

As for the women, (I fux w Lena Waithe tough because she is unapologetically black and doesn't feel the need to chirp about how she just 'happens to be blk' to make sure no white ppl in the room face a moment of discomfort), we can't ignore the fact that blk ppl typically have a much easier time w lesbains than they do gays. That obvs leads to fewer of them feeling like they're forced to choose the lesser of two evils when it comes to 'community'.

 

le sigh.... I am gonna give out the family secrets.... but um....Christian Mingle is code for another app that starts with J

 

This topic is definitely not talked about enough. The straight females can be just as bad or if not worse than straight males.

 

You Right



Knowing better doesn't stop one from doing things they shouldn't. I hate to think the trouble I could have gotten myself into.

 

Let's not throw around that "extremely" adverb too loosely now...

 

Its always interesting when a topic like this is introduced and in particular within the black community. The whole sex experience and orientation thing is corny as fvck to me when the double standard POV is women can experiment and not be a lesbian, but men DONT DARE experiment and not be full on gay. SERIOUSLY?

I usually don't entertain it in the least and just pass it off as people with that way of thinking being products of their environment and the programming of what a "Man" is and does. And as for my folk/Black men, when they grow up in black communities, black church etc it will most likely continue to be as rare as a pink and blue elephant the idea of sexual fluidity, experimentation, and sexual exploration without being flat out labeled as GAY AS FVCK.

The question I pose to the topic when I do muster up the interest to entertain it is,

So as a gay as fvck man, which I am, if I go have sex with a women tomorrow, am I straight now?

Room is silent a bit, than the inevitable response erupts, "Oh nah man, thats different". Etc, etc. The conversation usually becomes mute because with that topic people are usually going to stay true to their programmed way of thinking as oppose to challenging the way they were taught about what is sex vs actual orientation.

Sex is just SEX. I love sex and although I am not Bi, as sex goes I find sex between humans FANTASTIC. Whether its with a man or woman. I have had and still could have successful sex with a woman right now and it be good as fvck. Do I want to continue anything with her? No. Because I am a gay man and I want to share my life with a man.

So I would assume It could be dudes out there that have had sex with men and could do so, but ultimately want and love women. Its JUST SEX. But that way of thinking is VERY progressive and I love my black folk but if its one thing we are often not is the most progressive thinkers.

 

Botswana is slowly but surely becoming a beacon for African progress. They should definitely keep doing what they are going.

A great deal of anti-homosexuality sentiment in Africa was imported from Western Evangelicals. Many of them from the United States. It is quite disgusting.

In diplomacy, we call what Botswana did to Steven Anderson, Persona Non Grata, meaning person not appreciated.

 

I was going to be mad at this when I first was it, because of the headline, but once I saw that he was only speaking on HIS experience and not trying to make a broader more generalized blanket statement, I was like "Well, that's his experience." OF COURSE he sees more racism in the gay community because of the gays he aligns himself with (or probably more telling, doesn't align himself with), and the blacks he's around.

He might have come from poverty, but I'm sure the blacks he's referring to now are the liberal (and very few) he ran into at Mizzou and the more affluent ones he's come into contact with since being thrust into the spotlight. We all know gays are bigotted (even though most will chalk it up to "preference"), but gays are uber picky regardless.

I hate how people speaking on their isolated and most times outlying personal experiences get extrapolated to an overview of society at large. You know racist gays? Ok, and their are gays who are republicans. You haven't seen many homophobic blacks? Great, I also know blacks who hate watermelon. What are we saying?

 

This is what happens when your lust for straight men goes too far...

 

Imagine meeting in an IKEA. I could spend hours in IKEA. That and a fully stocked Dollar Store are like adult playgrounds.

Andy was kinda cute too and I don't do colonizers...or maybe Pat was just too fem and sassy so it made Andy more attractive?

 

I said alot of stupid shit when I was 14, 15, 16......and well into my 20s so. There was no social media around to document it and internet access back in the 1990s was not easy or cheap. Not that anyone cares what I think since I'm not a public figure and have no desire to be. Either way I think youngin will get a pass. He can chalk it up to "youthful indiscretion" or ignorance.

 

I stopped watching when the middle one let the ghost of his wife go at the beach.

Black gay men don't always need a wyte guy to date on TV. He already had a PR boyfriend at the start. Let this man catch that chocolate.