Closed Mouths Don't Get Fed

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by acessential, Nov 4, 2015.

  1. acessential

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    So there's a lot of discussion on how to meet dudes. I'm a firm believer that closed mouths don't get fed and to not rely solely on dating apps. It would be interesting to see if being open and not limiting yourself to gay sites or gay events actually works. List the last three men you dated/hooked up with/were intimate with and how you met. I'll go first.

    1) I met the most recent guy this past summer. We were doing separate summer programs, but lived in the same building. I thought he was cute, but I didn't know he liked dudes at first until it was mentioned at a non-gay party we all went to.

    2) Second most recent guy I actually met through the guy below. Yeah, it was kinda ho-ish, but whatever. Nobody got their feelings hurt.

    3) The third most recent guy I did meet on a dating site. We knew right away we were both gay.

    So basically, expand your horizons.
     
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  2. Jdudre

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    I agree with you on expanding ones horizons, but this is not always that easy especially for someone like me who tends to be on the more shy/introverted side of things. I manly keep to myself the few times i have tried to interact with other gay guys especially black guys I tend to get the brush off or this weird combative attitude. For example I was living in Arizona a few years back and somebody I was seeing invited a another black guy over and the entire time he was there he kept on challenging me on everything from how i got my apartment to the fact that i was not real american cause i was born in Haiti, any way the point of this long rant besides getting some off this stuff of my chest was to say for some of us its hard meeting the right kind of person period.
    p.s. I real am not that negative
     
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  3. Nick Delmacy

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    I'll play along...will list the dudes who made it past a month of dating...

    Me & @ockydub are like characters on Seinfeld, we give dudes Nicknames:

    1.) French Fry Guy: Met him in a gay club. I noticed him in passing, reached for his hand, he slowed down and we had an awkward conversation over the loud music so I quickly asked for his number. He was a short dude who ate his french fries in tiny little bites...daintily dipping it into the ketchup after each bite...Turned out to be a preachy feminist so :camby:


    2.) Jesus "Freak": Met him on a voice chat line. This was years ago but we kept in contact, still keep in touch (kinda). He was SUPER young (like 12 years younger) and a BIG Jesus lover...he was also a FREAK, we actually went out on dates but he mainly wanted late-night hookups with an older masculine dude. All of this eventually bothered me...well, not the sex part, the age thing made me feel like a mentor. He was always asking for me to teach him how to do things. That in itself is not a bad thing, but he was so inexperienced in life himself that he had nothing to teach/share me in return besides his :feedme: body.


    3.) The Professor: Met him though a gay site (not a hookup site though). Good guy and we had some great dates/nights...but he ultimately was more into himself than getting to know someone new. Talked a lot about himself and his knowledge. :nerd: If I tried to challenge him he would lecture me to the point where we had to end the dates just to remain civil. There were other things (like he was probably already in a relationship or llving with a dude) so I stopped hitting him up the minute being his (possibly side) dude felt like work.

    To be honest, I don't date as much as I used to. Was bored with it all. Prob will change that soon.
     
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  4. Nigerian Prince

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    Met two people:

    One off Jack'd - we exchanged numbers and we text every now and then since we met over the past week.

    One off Tinder - he was an interesting Polynesian guy from Fiji. Had really good conversation then I learned all he wanted was a hookup. So yeah.. I let him go because I believe I am worth more than a hookup.
     
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  5. acessential

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    I understand being introverted. I'm introverted too. That's why The party I was at, I was already with a bunch of people I already knew, so I felt more comfortable. I'm not suggesting that guys should go out and be the life of the party. I'm just saying that we should be open to meeting guys out there. Be friendly. I said maybe two words to the guy at the party. But I made a note of where I could "randomly" run into him again. This might be more difficult in other situations, but you get the point. And that dude sounds like a general asshole. Hopefully most dudes aren't like that.
     
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  6. cypher21

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    Ha this reminds me of someone I know that doesn't eat the part of the french fry you touch lol, she'll eat up to 3/4 of it and throw the end of the fry back on the plate like its a banana peel or a peanut shell...Haha
    First time I saw that I was like: :whut: LOL!

    Bold topic for me though...don't really have much to add, it's definitely a challenge for me to effective communicate to people like that face to face. I don't consider myself antisocial or anything, sometimes I think I can be funny and friendly, but I can't fight the feeling that my personality falls flat for people. I hope that makes sense.
     
  7. Kouncelor

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    I've deleted all the apps off my phone. They haven't led me to anyone I really wanted to meet. I much prefer the the face to face experience and reading the various nuances at the first few meeting.

    The men I've met this year have been at a bar, one through a mutual friend, and a third, most recently, at a wedding (the first legal MSM wedding).
    • One guy I met a a bar was extremely intelligent. Shared a kiss. Talked for a few weeks and went on a number of dates. He he had to many emotional issues (over extended grief, depression, alcoholism) which I believe is leading him to not be vigilant with this health (unstable diabetes)
    • The second guy is actually very nice.. he kinda grew on me. Close to my edge, he's starting over again. Has a good job and working on his degree. He has issues with his manhood.. Tells me he is a total top but loves his ass ate and to be finger freaked. Lets just say I could have.. but I didn't. Not completely ruled out.. but he may just end up being a friend.
    • The wedding guy..well. we'll see. Its only been a few weeks and I'm feeling kinda sprung. We seem to have a spiritual and physical connection. It was one of those eye contact situations we talked, shared a dance, exchanged numbers and went on a number of dates. We'll see...
     
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  8. SB3

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    1. Most recent guy is a guy ive known since college (he didnt know i was on the team). Great guy, but he's soo str8 laced, and Im soo..not!

    2. GI Joe...Dominican dude I met on Tinder. But he was a youngin (I knew better) and he lived right up to my expectations.

    I cant even remember a third person..and these were both months ago..smh
     
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