QUESTION FOR ALPHA/DOM'S/TOP's

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by JodyBell87, Jul 25, 2018.

  1. JodyBell87

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    Hey guys,
    So I'm watching this YOUTUBE that just came out with a guy named "CODE RED" and he's talking about what it means to be an APLHA MALE in a SGL relationship. A lot of what he says, I disagree with, but I have to pose the question to men in this group as I feel Code Red is a bit too young and has growing to do.
    He brings up a point about income and how he couldn't date someone who makes more than him.
    I make a pretty good living, and often earn more than most guys I date. I can tell that, in a couple instances, the guys have felt some type of way and seem to shy away from discussing employment goals or future date ideas that require money.
    For the Alpha's/Dom's/Tops, and be honest, does it bother you if you are dating someone who makes more money than you? If so, is that a deal breaker? What can someone do to make you feel more "alpha"?
    Also, YOU DO NOT need to identify as a TOP to be alpha..

    Thanks guys,
     
    #1 JodyBell87, Jul 25, 2018
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2018
  2. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Can you share the video for some additional perspective? I searched and couldn't find it and want to see it before I respond.
     
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  3. ControlledXaos

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    FWIW, making the most dosh =/= having "control" in a relationship.
     
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  4. JodyBell87

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    Done.

     
  5. ControlledXaos

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    Screenshot_20180725-163324-01.jpeg

    This. And I bet it will be viewed as being negative instead of constructive.
     
  6. JodyBell87

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    He actually responded nicely and took it into consideration.

     
  7. ControlledXaos

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    I'm probably 1.7 times this dude's age. He's got a lot of living to experience.

    It's interesting to see his pov but that all comes off as controlling. And apparently these rigid tops who will let verse guys "step out" is a trend because I have heard or read that a lot. Seems like he is a little insecure in some areas and trying to mask it with tryna by "alpha."
     
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  8. ControlledXaos

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    I see .Well good.

    I just have to revoke his Alpha Card because he's a Nicki fan. Lol
     
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  9. Winston Smith

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    I think @Nick Delmacy has covered this subject a few times pretty well, as has @OckyDub in podcasts.

    My TDLR version: I’ve dated “higher than me” and currently dating unemployed dude who has plans and goals. I base my masculinity on where my head is intellectually and spiritually (and his), not the wallet. But I don’t judge others who do
     
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  10. ControlledXaos

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    That song is the jam!
     
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  11. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    I skimmed a little of the video and not to be shady (which means I'm about to be shady), to all those saying he has more growing and living to do, do you REALLY think this dude will actually change with age? Especially when he will likely still be knee deep in that particular gay lifestyle, have similar friends to those that he has now and (lets be real) will be making the same amount of money as he does now...

    Maybe not him specifically, but I've seen this type both at his age and my age...

    Damn near every Bottom or Vers Bottom dude I've dated past 35 years old made more money than me. If not more, then they def at least had all the things you would expect a grown ass man to have: Roof over his head, transportation, savings, extra cash for travel and social events/concerts, etc...

    But these men also were not the type of guys seen in this video with 50+ tattoos, gaudy designer frames and belt buckles, etc...
     
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  12. ControlledXaos

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    I definitely do not think this type of guy changes unless something happens to them or they meet someone who can show them alternatives and even then he has to be receptive and ready.

    These guys tend to be just wrapped up "in the life style" so I really doubt it would happen soon but stranger things have happened.

    He's just immature and being older and immature are not mutually exclusive.
     
  13. takeyourmeds91

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    I was thinking the same thing. I know old motherfuckrs who think like him. He's a joke.

    In response to the video:

    Why do we put all these constraints on relationships. Find you a dude that you're attracted to with good character, stability, and sex and shut the fuck up.
     
  14. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Viewed as much as I could tolerate.

    1. Alpha Male is another over used buzz word / term that used so much its lost its value.
    2. Those who use the term to describe themselves are typically controlling and insecure (regardless of age), which of course wouldn't make them an alpha.
    3. This dude is an insecure idiot...but so was I and still am when it comes to certain issues. I still think its possible for him (and anyone) to grow and change.
     
  15. takeyourmeds91

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    That last point was sexy. Introspection AND optimism?
     
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  16. mojoreece

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    :gucci:What kind of foolishness is this dude talking about? Why do gay dudes keep insisting on following that heteronormative bull like we in the Victorian Age. Is this what the activist were fighting for? smh
     
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  17. JodyBell87

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    I agree. He's insecure about something and needs the person he's with to submit to his ego it seems.
    And the whole "step out to satisfy those needs" is B.S. If he needs to satisfy that need so much that he needs to step out, then he just needs to be with another verse. I hate people......lol


     
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