So if I don't like Rompers that means my Masculinity is toxic and fragile...OK

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by OckyDub, May 26, 2017.

  1. OckyDub

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    Romphim Backlash: Why I'm Not Ashamed to Wear a Romper

    "For young people of color that identify as male, it’s blasphemous to wear anything that’s considered feminine."

    [​IMG]

    In this op-ed, writer Jared Michael Lowe explores what the romphim backlash reveals about black masculinity. For the record, he's not ashamed to wear a romper.

    I was 14 when I tried on my older cousin’s romper. She had purchased a dark denim one-piece with bulky brass buttons that went far below the navel on clearance at Express. It was her “boughetto (bougie meets ghetto) Jenny from the block” look, she described to me, while twirling in her full-length mirror, checking out how it cupped her curvy teenage frame. I sat on the corner of her bed, admiring how she looked. We both agreed that she would look ‘bomb’ at her high school dance in the romper.

    In this op-ed, writer Jared Michael Lowe explores what the romphim backlash reveals about black masculinity. For the record, he's not ashamed to wear a romper.

    I was 14 when I tried on my older cousin’s romper. She had purchased a dark denim one-piece with bulky brass buttons that went far below the navel on clearance at Express. It was her “boughetto (bougie meets ghetto) Jenny from the block” look, she described to me, while twirling in her full-length mirror, checking out how it cupped her curvy teenage frame. I sat on the corner of her bed, admiring how she looked. We both agreed that she would look ‘bomb’ at her high school dance in the romper.

    That scenario from years ago replayed when I saw the social media backlash of RompHim, the Kickstarter campaign to fund rompers for men. Many of the jibes across social media directed at the garment centered on the absurdity of a guy dressing like a woman ― wearing the same romper on a date with a female counterpart, or even the reactions from peers and family members of the guy preening over himself in his new look. From the comedic roasts to the downright disparaging comments, the romper set off a firestorm of reactions to what a guy should and should not wear/ do, feminizing an article of clothing that’s essentially genderless. The romper like the jumpsuit has been around for eons, even James Bond wore one back in the '60s. Those comments nurture an acute anxiety about gender neutrality that’s targeted towards men, a form of toxic masculinity that is further exacerbated when race is involved.

    For young people of color, especially those that identify as male, it’s blasphemous to wear anything that’s not considered ‘masculine’. As much as Jaden Smith wears a heeled boot to this past year’s Met Gala or if rapper, Lil Uzi Vert poses with a clutch (as he did at this year’s Billboard Music Awards), there’s still uproar in ethnic and racial communities if someone is perceived as male, wears something that’s traditionally female. For black men specifically, wearing an article or clothing or behaving in any way that’s ‘feminine’ is constructed as a weak or soft. This form of toxicity is especially dangerous when you consider the increased rates of suicide in teens, especially within Black, Latino, and Asian LGBTQIAP communities over the past couple of years and the murders of many transgender people, especially male to female black women. Yet, for what it’s worth, our concept of what a guy can wear remains as limited as it was 100 years ago.

    Still, the tide is slowly shifting. Just as many tweets as there were putting down romper and the totality of guys in supposed womenswear, there were many uplifting images showcasing guys of all backgrounds dismantling stereotypes:

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    [​IMG]De La Sébure @Delasebure
    You know we love jumpsuit! If you want to join the #romphim trend, get yourself a colorful one on our website. http://Www.delasebure.com



    5:25 AM - 22 May 2017

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    [​IMG]fantastikarl @fantastikarl
    #ROMPHIM #ootd #zaramen @ZARA

    8:59 PM - 21 May 2017

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    [​IMG]Darnell L. Moore

    ✔@Moore_Darnell
    And about these rompers, some of us been wearing them for years....yearssss I say. I even designed this one when in South Africa.

    5:54 PM - 16 May 2017

    In the past week, a friend texted me a picture from a couple of years ago of him and me. In the pic, I wore a nylon black romper to Made in America. When I got it, I smiled, thinking back to that day when I was 14 and recalled the feeling of freedom and liberation to waltz the crowded streets of a music festival feeling like myself, something I always longed to be.

     
  2. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Me not wanting to dress effeminate means my masculinity is fragile and or toxic?

    Also...WTF is LGBTQIAP
     
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  3. mojoreece

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    Maybe Im a lil confused or dont understand fashion. I thought "rompers" or what ever you call it were just a hipster term for coveralls or male onesies/jumpsuits that men have been wearing since the 70s including mechanics, and airforce air pilot suits....and wait wouldn't farmer overalls be roomers too? :lupe1::yeshrug:

    For me I have no problem with the "hispter rompers". its just that the current ones I have seen ain't for my body type. If I was trying to be fashionable instead of "rompers" I would just wear classic overalls. I could something like these :

    [​IMG] [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
  4. OhSheit

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    It is if your on some Trick Daddy and Jim Jones level of fumes wanting niggas dead and shit :yeshrug:
     
  5. Winston Smith

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    This.

    We got issued this shit in the Navy ("coveralls"), so I don't see fashion statement, I see working and getting dirty in a cramped space lol

    [​IMG]

    To each his own. Men in Africa, Latin America, and Asia have been wearing clothes like this for decades if not centuries. Americans and gay men discover shit and they act Cristopher Columbus "discovering" the Caribbean ("This didn't matter until **I** noticed it!")

    My problem with the trend is not masculinity/ femininity as @Ockydub sees it (and he's right about the quick to scream toxic this and that crowd), it's that Peter Pan syndrome thing, i.e. Grown men dressing like little boys. Isn't "Romper" short for "Romper Room"? Lol


    [​IMG]

    @Ockydub : Isn't LGBTQIAP that song by Hall and Oates? The one where they spell out the letters? Lol
     
    #5 Winston Smith, May 26, 2017
    Last edited: May 26, 2017
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  6. Aejae

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    Well two of the men looked good in their rompers. And the majority of the pictures that @mojoreece put up with the men in rompers were kinda fine as hell to me! I initially didn't think much of men eating rompers when it was first trending on Twitter and Instagram. But in my opinion, a man has to be able to pull it off and look good in them, because there are two pictures so far in this thread that I don't like:ravetho:. But other than that I'm not tripping too much on men wearing rompers, only If they don't continue to look less than attractive in those two pictures I don't like :trash:.
     
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  7. Omega Level

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    No @Ockydub, of course you not liking rompers does not mean your masculinity is toxic and fragile.

    The op-ed writer and any other person, gay or straight, is reaching if they think just because a person may not like the romper, they are hyper masculine looking down on those that wear it as feminine. Some ignorant people may see it that way, others just may not like it for the sake of it not being their style. Its ok not to like something, ITS DAMN CLOTHES.

    On the other end,

    The romper thing is nothing new. In fact I saw episodes of Good Times with more than one male character wearing it. The current marketing and black social media representation of it shows it with flowers, pastel colors, and even off the shoulder. Basically making fun of it and viewing men that may attempt to wear the style as "less of a man".

    As @mojoreece displayed with his great pictures, the style can be very masculine and actually kinda fly. There are definitely men that will be able to pull it off.

    Everyone can freely have their opinion about it sure, but people that think just because a person doesn't like it equates them to be a homophobic asshole is just ass bad as the people who think that men who would wear rompers makes them effeminate or less than a man.
     
    #7 Omega Level, May 27, 2017
    Last edited: May 27, 2017
  8. ColumbusGuy

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    These things just look bad on most men. So what if it was 'a thing' in the seventies...so were leisure suits and elephant bells...those looked stupid too..are we going to bring back pet rocks and platform shoes too? These look like they are for kids. There are other things as mentioned like overalls that look better that serve the same function.


    And it is just not a 'black thing' when it comes to not liking these-plenty of white people realize these are stupid too. Whites are just more easily led by the fashion police and in a way are more 'gone' when it comes to common sense in fashion-it is usually some white female or more likely, some white 'queer' guy who is coming up with the latest fashion trends anyway. Hell most women should hate white gay men for being the designers most responsible for creating the fads and shit designs that women have to try and squeeze their bodies into.

    I HATE fashion! lol. Since that bitch Coco Chanel and the 'women have to look like boys' crap that some rich thin white women started in the 1920's fashion has been freer but more opposed to the natural body of most people. Look at the stupid sketches and design crap where they have the 'figures' of the models...yeah that really looks like a real human being.

    fashion sketch.jpg

    Yeah...because most women are 9 feet tall and thin as a rail. The person who most resembles this is RUPAUL!


    Fuck the rompers they look stupid like kidswear on grown men. What is next?..diapers? Garanimals on grown men? smh.

    *And yeah, some of the models can pull these off..not because the clothing is not stupid, but because THEY ARE MODELS! they can look good in a plastic trash bag. How many men off the street that you see would look good in these(especially since your average US male is overweight a bit?)

    This really makes me wonder if the conspiracy theorists are right and there is an effort to 'feminize' or 'emasculate' black men/all men. On most of these models it actually infantilizes the wearer. That Asian guy looks downright childlike.


    *WHY does a man want to look like "JENNY from the block' and not Jamal or John or Javier????? Why should a man want to look like a woman? That is the bigger question. If a man does not want to look like a woman he is somehow 'toxic'...? Yeah people should be able to wear what they want and not get assaulted or attacked, but if you don't like these infantilizing things it does not necessarily mean you hate gays and women etc. If people wear something that looks stupid they are gonna get called out on it no matter what it is. It is not 'hey look at that guy in a romper. Dammit, I am going to go out and kill a transgender person now'. That kind of stuff is much deeper than this shit.


    Identify as male? smh. This is ridiculous. Unless you are the less than one percent who are actually transgender, look between your legs and 'identify' what is down there to see if you are male or not. Unless you identify as an alien or a lamppost, recliner, dog or some other weirdness.
     
    #8 ColumbusGuy, May 27, 2017
    Last edited: May 27, 2017
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  9. OckyDub

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    :sabu:
     
  10. Winston Smith

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    [​IMG]

    As far as good-looking white guys in rompers, Ima give Sean Connery a pass on this one lol
     
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  11. Infinite_loop

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    My goal is to bring 3 dashiki romphim from home(somewhere in East Africa) when i come back to the state
     
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  12. Omega Level

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    Damn this man was hot as shit. Good one dude.
     
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  13. NickAuzenneNOLA

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    I don't think it makes your masculinity toxic or fragile personally if you don't like it for yourself however, if you police other people's masculinity or view them as somehow less masculine because of that fashion choice, yes bro your masculinity is toxic and fragile. It's the same kind that has boxed black men specifically in for years. Not allowing black dudes to have any different way to express themselves but the universal methods we all know is toxic all day.
     
  14. ColumbusGuy

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    The answer to toxic masculinity is not forced effeminization. Nobody has the right to put their hands on anyone other than in self defense, and it is damn rude to make unsolicited negative comments about another person's personal appearance-that stuff people are saying about confronting people wearing rompers is bull. But...the answer to one extreme is not the imposition of the other extreme. And some of the people who are wearing these or advocating these are doing so to express their femininity-it is for them a rejection of masculinity. When you have to ask people who are male if they 'identify' as male..then masculinity is in question.

    A range is good, one extreme or the other extreme is not-and is jumping from 'thug attire' to 'dresses' on men really letting black men express themselves? Is not the problem more that black men who are and act educated and are into 'nerdy' things getting called 'acting white', 'talking white', 'coon', etc.? How many black men on here have heard that from other blacks? How important is this stupid fashion stuff in helping to resolve any of the real stuff regarding black men and the 'roles' they are pigeonholed into? Just asking cause hey, I admit I am an outsider and maybe I am wrong.

    And yeah I am not black but I can still have an opinion and it can still be valid because while this may be a more pressing issue in the black community, it is not soley a black issue and is not happening in a void-again, JMHO.


    Freedom is not going from one extreme to the other. Also freedom is not thought policing. People have the right to think what they want of these without it being 'policing' of other people's choices. People can think what they want, it is how they act and how they treat people that matters. JMHO. I think these things are gonna look awful and infantile on most men(outside of models, who of course, are NOT most men) and I will talk about it, but I will not be rude or unfriendly to someone wearing one. Who knows?-that might get my ass beat-some of these feminine guys have had to fight their whole lives and do not give a shit and will attack you. Plus it could be some straight guy just trying to provoke someone lol. I don't do that kind of stuff to people in public or even to relative anyway. That is just not being brought up or raised right to do that kind of public judging.


    @Rico Yeah James Bond was in a romper. At a poolside resort. Where it would be more appropriate. Just like most people do not walk the streets in swimwear. And again, it was Sean Connery in his prime-not exactly your everyday any guy on the street. Exception proving the rule.

    :foxxxy::yeshrug::kermit:
     
  15. ColumbusGuy

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    @Rico You know who would have really rocked rompers? DIVINE!

    But only if she had cha-cha heels to go with them! BLACK ONES!




    Everytime you see rompers, think of this 300 pound drag queen rocking them! Just as easily take away the nightie and have her in a romper!!!! (this does remind me of a few of my Xmas' minus being a 300 pound drag queen and wanting cha cha heels and all.)
     
  16. OckyDub

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  17. Omega Level

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    Im sorry, but it just seems like you are going way to far with all this man.
    Is it really that damn deep? FORCED EFFEMINIZATION? Because of a freakin romper?:ravetho:
     
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  18. OckyDub

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    My masculinity isn't toxic nor would it be fragile if I saw a man wearing female high heels and logically assumed his fashion choice is "less masculine". So would the majority of inhabitants in any given country who saw a man in their populace dress or wear articles of clothing that were traditional female clothing within their culture at any specific time.

    This has nothing to do with masculinity's toxicities, it has to do with logical thinking human beings making an observation on what they are viewing.

    If I follow the trail and analyse where this portion of your statement could lead to, it could eventually mean a man wearing a dress is masculine and my masculinity is less than or too rigid because I'm not dressing more like a female.
     
  19. ColumbusGuy

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    ^^(edit..another post came in..this was in response to @Rico ) ... edit again...to @Omega Level ...)I am just using this one thing to expand on a broader issue-that issue being really that (like so many things in society today) we are fragmented into extremes. And this includes gender roles and sexuality-some are clinging to the most traditional horrible roles while other are trying to basically eradicate the whole idea of gender. It is part of a broader thing.

    -Demoncrat ...or... Republicunt.

    -Women are Gods and can do no wrong....or... MGTOW and other anti-woman nonsense.

    -'Real' gays have to be more feminine than women...or...they have to be dripping with masculinity and fem-hating.

    These fractures don't really do much good when common sense is thrown out the window. Our media puppetmasters who are helping to carve out these extremes are not helping either.

    If someone can wear one of these and not look stupid or like an infant, good. I just think most men(not calender or Instagram men, but REAL men you see on the street) will look stupid. Women tend to know what makes them look bad(even if they wear dumb stuff anyway-especially if they are thirsty and want male attention or are shamed by their stupid friends) and will usually not wear the worst stuff. Men are not that way. JMO.

    *and this gender war stuff is not good for women either..look at MGTOW and Sotomayor and the rest of the backlash against what is seen as forced feminization. And this backlash is fed not from people having common sense and 'doing them' but from shit that is pushed by (white uppercrust) people who to an extent want to divide and conquer and it is no wonder people (especially black people) wonder if this is part of a 'war against black men' ...you know...the one that has been going on for 400 years to make black men look violent so there is a need to emasculate them? This is not helping, and is not the solution to toxic masculinity, 'thug celebration' or anything else. It just takes attention away from real solutions. JMHO.
     
    #19 ColumbusGuy, May 28, 2017
    Last edited: May 28, 2017
  20. NickAuzenneNOLA

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    Don't want to be well actually about any of this but WELL ACTUALLY Men have worn "rompers" and or all in one outfits since at least the late 60s the fashion trend went away in the 80s and now it's back much like ALL waves.

    Your critique was not of dresses and heels it was of rompers which are much more unisex. But to your point if you assume anything about a man based on what he wears, yes even a dress, that is a function of toxicity. I stand by that.

    Malehood shouldn't be policed in the ways you are making it seem it should and just because it has been historically that doesn't mean it's right or should continue...

    I don't care what a person wears personally, it isn't me, and I can still respect and acknowledge you as whomever or whatever you see yourself as and a dude deciding that's a choice he wants to try is still just a dude to me but I guess that's my millennial thinking.
     
    #20 NickAuzenneNOLA, May 28, 2017
    Last edited: May 28, 2017
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  21. Winston Smith

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    "Masculine" rompers lol

    [​IMG]

    Seriously, I could care less about anyone else's fashion choices, I regularly attend art functions where dudes are in skirts or kilts (don't ask).

    BUT I am DRAWING THE LINE when I see mofo men start wearing full body cat suits at Walmart and Cubs games...
    [​IMG]
     
    #21 Winston Smith, May 28, 2017
    Last edited: May 28, 2017
  22. ColumbusGuy

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    How do you know about Gumby's @Rico? My brother and his friends were Gumby's for their senior talent show in High School!

    Speaking of Monty Python since you brought them up and gender roles/clothing...



    Also what makes you think they will stop at rompers? Babydoll dresses are not that far away...high heels also.

    The future is here:

    tumblr_mvtlshOIWe1qe9qsto1_500.gif

    MarcoMarcoShow_Collection_Four_Pt_2_at_LA_Style_Fashion_Week.gif


    *I admit...a little ... just a little...of my disdain for these rompers is that If I wore one I would look like I was expecting quintuplets and was 38 months past my due date....
     
    #22 ColumbusGuy, May 28, 2017
    Last edited: May 28, 2017
  23. Sean

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    So are you implying that rompers are effeminate?
     
  24. Winston Smith

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    Just showing that even Trump supporters out there like rompers lol.

    Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm working on partnering with Karl Khani, TROOP and J. Peterman on the kickstarter for the next fashion trend, the Urban Ledenhosen...
    [​IMG]
    Comes with leather Kangol and pastel colored Timberlands...
     
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  25. Omega Level

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    If it makes as much as the romper kickstarter, I wanna join. They only placed their goal at $10,000 and they are now currently over $363,000.

    Talk about a success!!!!! DAMN.
     
  26. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    No my critique is in reference to any time males publicly critique other males with questionable fashion choices, the criticizer's masculinity is now psychoanalyzed. Women do this to other females day in and day out and no one questions their femininity being toxic or fragile. There is an entire industry / business around this and again femininity is never questioned.

    Why...because its silly and nonsensical. All of this toxic/fragility talk is basic typical feminist propaganda that non-heterosexual culture is obsessed with and indoctrinated into.

    To further prove my point...
    Fem leaning / effeminate gay men negatively critique male fashions non-stop all over internet spaces. Even though male, their masculinity is not questioned or labeled as toxic or fragile even though they are doing the exact same thing males who lean masculine are doing.

    Pointing out these glaring double standards and hypocrisies just doesn't comput for those in the LGBTQ Culture bubble.
     
    #26 OckyDub, May 30, 2017
    Last edited: May 30, 2017
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  27. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Thank you for asking...

    NO

    ...but as a man if take my plaid shirt and tie the ends in knots around my belly its now effeminate.
    [​IMG]

    The type/style of the romper AND how the men wear them is what make this more feminine in nature. To me this basic understanding is what's lost in 99% of the online/social media discussions around this issue.

    The dude below in the black romper...the romper looks hella effeminate and I can make a logically conclusion the kat is fem leaning as well. Why is this controversial? I can't make this observation why...because of reasons? Or is it Queer/Feminist culture never will miss an opportunity to be outraged by anybody who dares critique anything LGBTQ in addition to never passing up a chance to demonize masculinity.
     
    #27 OckyDub, May 30, 2017
    Last edited: May 30, 2017
  28. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    I'm sooooo not here for the added letters in the acronym. Not here for the LGBTABC123BabyYouAndMeGirl! People are trying it to complicate our sexual and gender identity. Stop it! Dammit!

    I'm here for Rompers, as long as it compliments your style and physique. I'm here for this:

    [​IMG]
     
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  29. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    HELLLL NAW...LMAO!
     
  30. Omega Level

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    I understand what your saying here and you have a point.

    However, in looking at the "fem leaning/effeminate" gay mens point of view they may just simply be over sensitive to a lot of things due to the fact that they have been taking negative shit for quite a while. If not forever. For a long time they have been looked at with disdain, shame, unworthy, undateable, unwanted, undesirable, you get my point. So I think them being "outraged" comes from a place of being hurt often. Especially when it comes to masculine gay men vs feminine gay men. The masculine gay men may often look at them in the ways I described above, undesirable etc.

    So I think what you are describing when you say, ''outraged by anybody who dares critique anything LGBTQ in addition to never passing up a chance to demonize masculinity". I can imagine they view it as, they have been critiqued all of their lives. And of course you can have an opinion, but I think your opinion Ocky is pure and not coming from a condemning place unlike a lot of other opinions about this style of dress I have seen on social media.

    In the end I think the energy and feel of a lot of the critiques about fem men and the way they dress comes from an undertone if not out write hateful place. And the fem men are fed up with it I'm sure! Thats why you see them fighting back, being outraged, and now demonizing masculinity.

    And masculine men can't take being demonized? After they have demonized feminine men for ETERNITY? Interesting :kermit:
     
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  31. Cyrus-Brooks

    Cyrus-Brooks is a Featured MemberCyrus-Brooks The Black Vulcan
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    I guess my masculinity is "toxic" too because I think grown ass men shouldn't dress like a toddler. rjAgMm.gif
     
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  32. BlackguyExecutive

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    I think there is a whole lot of projection going on in this Romphim/Romper debate. I feel like if you want to wear a romper wear a damn romper. If you don't like it or don't want to wear one. Arguments on both sides seems a little ridiculous. I think the only reason why we think a romper is feminine is that we were trained and oriented to think that way through conditioning, blue is for boys, pink is for girls.

    I think the argument about toxic or fragile masculinity is quite circular and will never reach in logical conclusion in the context of discussing whether one likes or dislikes a romper. In many ways, people are using a clothing/fashion item to project their own insecurities on much deeper issues. That goes for both masculinity and femininity sympathizers.

    [​IMG]
     
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  33. alton

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    [​IMG]
     
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  34. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    I think many PEOPLE are sensitive to things that impact/ed them based on their experiences or areas of focus. These sensitivities displacing common sense and logic is the problem.

    I think most PEOPLE are defensive when they feel a personal characteristic about themselves is being demonized.
     
    #34 OckyDub, May 31, 2017
    Last edited: May 31, 2017
  35. Winston Smith

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    We've been joking a lot in this thread and most of us, pretty sure you included, really don't give a full what the hell someone else wears as it is not coming out of our figurative or literally pockets...BUT you made the exact same point I did. I can't stand when men, especially BLACK MEN dress like goddamn children. Doesn't have to be rompers, it can be 45 yo Junebug wearing his damn pants on his ass and looking like Flavor Flav's stupid kid brother. Hell, as stereotypically effeminate gay as John Waters is, he's ALWAYS dressed like a goddamned adult. Fen gay doesn't have to Peter Pan syndrome...

    I don't think Ock is projecting anything. Usually when he goes off it's because of some shit that liberals or gay SJWs started first. And whether folks like to admit it or not, masculine black men, gay or straight, are ALWAYS targets...including among the idiot-laden public sector workforce that you and I are a part of.
     
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