The Lone Bisexual?

Discussion in 'Group Discussions' started by NickAuzenneNOLA, Jan 3, 2016.

  1. African King

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    Yeah the different struggle perspective makes sense.

    As far as gay men being visible, that is true. There are more masculine depictions of gay men on TV nowadays however, many still view gay men as lipstick wearing, high-heel wearing, hip twisting, and the list goes on and on. So there are still negative depictions. When my twin brother came out at 18 to my parents, the biggest fear of theirs was that he would transition into a female OR that he would at least wear women's clothes.

    And yes Bi men do have that luxury so to speak to assimilate into straight world. I am not envious though but I do notice that from past experiences and anecdotes.
     
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  2. redsai84

    redsai84 For the night is dark and full of terrors.
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    your not alone bro I'm also bisexual and I'm sure there are a few of us on here, they just don't post. i been thinking about doing a few threads for us but never though it would get that many views....some times it can be hard being a minority within a minority.
     
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  3. African King

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    You guys should do more posts because I have learned more about bisexuality than ever before since @NickAuzenneNOLA started posting. I know more about being transgender than bisexuality because trans issues are highlighted more in the media than bi issues.
     
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  4. NickAuzenneNOLA

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    @African King I believe it's important to hear all of our voices and learn to understand one another by cultivating the conversation ourselves we depend too much on media to tell us our stories. @redsai84 yiu should definitely post more man I've been holding it down but it's always good to hear more voices. Can't wait to read what you come up with.
     
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  5. redsai84

    redsai84 For the night is dark and full of terrors.
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    ya maybe me and @NickAuzenneNOLA should do that.
     
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  6. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    I guess I'm still not understanding exactly what you men feel is missing from the site from your perspective? More posts about being attracted to women? More posts about having kids? More posts about once having girlfriends?

    I mean, I don't really feel that Cypher Avenue or The Boards has ever discouraged a Bisexual perspective...so I kinda take offense to the slight implication that the environment here has been antithetical to bisexual men or their way of life.

    Sounds almost as if you guys feel that you need or want a new website just for Bi men and their lifestyles since both gay and straight sites don't "get" you.
     
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  7. redsai84

    redsai84 For the night is dark and full of terrors.
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    we just sharing our thoughts thats it i don't think anyone bi hates the site or feels wrong in some way.
    [​IMG]
     
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  8. NickAuzenneNOLA

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    No one is bashing simply figuring out a way to bring our voices and experiences to the table as well so that everyone can have a better understanding of people and things they may not normally try to understand through sharing our stories and experiences just like everyone else is doing I'd suspect. No need for post about loving women or wanting children etc because that wouldn't be authentic. We haven't even posted anything concerning women in this space, at least I haven't. Too me it feels like you want your space to be strictly gay centered which is cool but we are here too and we are just speaking for our little 20% that may not feel comfortable enough to speak for themselves.
     
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  9. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    See this is exactly what I'm saying. Neither @ockydub or myself has ever said we want the site to be Gay only, nor do we go out of our way to make it "gay only," nor do we shut down anyone mentioning bisexuality, nor do we even avoid discussing bisexual men. We actually discuss bisexuality and Bisexual men all the time here and on the podcasts (search for the word Bisexual and Bisexuality on The Main Site and The Boards if you don't believe me).

    Y'all in here talking like your voices and the topic have been suppressed on Cypher Avenue and you're finally speaking for the minority, lol.

    In what way could we make the site more from a Bisexual point of view and "less gay?"

    What have we been doing that has stopped you guys from contributing to any of the many other topics from a Bisexual point of view?

    In over 300 comments, this is the first time @redsai84 has ever mentioned being Bisexual...that's somehow the site's fault?

    I'm not attacking you, honestly just trying figure out what we've really been doing wrong so that we can correct it.
     
  10. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Dear Bisexual Brothers,
    Want to get your voices, expressions and experiences to Cypher Avenue readers? Here is how you can submit your articles or essays:

    1. Please submit your idea or work through email to Submission@cypheravenue.com with the subject “ARTICLE SUBMISSION – Your full name or pseudonym”.
    2. Please include a link to your blog, website or social media profiles (if any are available).
    3. Include 1-3 photos of your work (if available). You don’t have to be able to design the posts — we will handle that for all guest bloggers and contributors.
    4. Please name the post or column if you have an idea for one. If not, we will handle that as well.
    5. If selected, we will notify you by email of our decision and advise you when your submission is published.
    6. All contributors are Volunteer (for the time being).

    I may add its also helpful to cc Ockywilliams@gmail & Nickdelmacy@gmail.

    We will be waitin on yo submissions at da door:foxxxy:
     
  11. redsai84

    redsai84 For the night is dark and full of terrors.
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    i honestly don't get what the problem is, like breakdown to me what we said to get you so up in arms? @NickAuzenneNOLA said he felt alone like he was the only bi male on this space i reply back letting him know he is not and we should and can make more threads. look all i know is i like the boards and enjoy chatting with y'all the rest of that shit is for the birds.

    (but on a side note i think @Nick Delmacy just tried throw some shade my way with that posting over 300 comments...chill i see you lol)
    [​IMG]
     
  12. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Oh yes honey...that thang can throw some shade on the low...
    [​IMG]
    But yes...this is yall's space in addition to the main site. Create some damn bisexual threads and essays. I have been reading this thread over and it could have EASILY been a post on the main site if it was formatted together...again...

    We will be waitin on yo submissions at da door:foxxxy:
     
  13. redsai84

    redsai84 For the night is dark and full of terrors.
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    lol ya the shade is strong in that one.
    [​IMG]
    but ya ill see what i can come up with
     
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  14. Dante

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    For me, I get both sides. But it's clear that Cypher Avenue is accommodating to same-gender-loving men, so gay and bisexual men are really not left out. Shit, straight men aren't left out depending on a good amount of threads. And that's the unfolding beauty of the site to normalize us as men in general.

    I created a thread a few months ago titled Bi The Way: She Can, But He Can't under Group Discussions, so check that out.
     
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  15. Discordant

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    I've only gone to 2nd base with a woman, but that was moreso for religious reasons. Once I realized my attraction to men and even more importantly my sexual preference, it made dating women pretty hard to do. I occasionally get crushes on females and even fantasize about them, but, unless she's into pegging or we go for a polyamorous thing with another guy, it's not going to work out for either of us long-term.
     
  16. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    There is no such thing as situational homosexuality and situational heterosexuality. Those are terminologies or concepts to further expand on sexuality, but in my opinion, cramp more on sexuality than need be. And it based all on the physical act of having sex to determine one's sexuality, which is null.

    Just because a gay man has had sex or decides to have sex with a woman/women either through experimentation, marriage, living a DL lifestyle, rape, a class assignment, a truth or dare game, being trapped in a cave with no other option, etc. doesn't mean anything. The same applies to the flipside of the same statement.

    As a gay man, if I was to have sex with a female, the physical act would be a heterosexual sex act, but that doesn't mean that I'm straight, even if the sex act was to happen repeatedly with a woman. Sexuality can't be confirmed or determined through the physical act of having sex, even if you achieve an orgasm, because you can do that by yourself. Your sexuality is within your sexual/physical attraction, regardless of being able to have sex with whomever you want.
     
    #51 Dante, Jan 6, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 6, 2016
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  17. Dante

    Dante https://www.gofundme.com/qv7v5dw
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    Bisexual men do have the advantage of having it easier than gay men, simply because if need be (especially if he is on the DL), they can identify or say that they are straight due to being sexually attracted to the opposite gender by default and truly dismiss their sexual attraction to the same gender at the drop of a dime. Though gay men can do the same thing by choosing to deal and fuck around with women sexually to hide their sexuality (being on the DL), it's still an advantage for them over gay men.

    And I concur with you that bisexual women have it more easier than bisexual men, due to the double standard that heterosexual people (heterosexual men for the most part) have viewing women sexually vs. men sexually. A woman can call another woman girlfriend platonically, hold hands platonically another woman platonically, grind and freak on the dance floor in a sexual way with another woman, etc. and there's no "OMG...that's nasty...ewww....disgusting" reaction or afterthought for doing so.
     
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  18. Sean

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    I am bisexual and I think I may have referenced that at some point. I don't make a point of it unless it is relevant. I was 27 when I had my first sexual experience with a man. Up until then, I considered myself straight, dated women, had pretty much 95% straight friends. I still have about the same amount of straight friends, still date wome, but now date men too.

    Nick asked a few questions directed at NickAuzenne that I will answer.

    Tell us about the process of finally accepting your Bisexuality
    I met a guy that I only expected get a quick nut with, but he decided to ask for my number and insisted on going out for drinks the next Friday. This was a first, I was naive, and he was fine. I fell for him and realized I could have the same feelings toward a man that I had toward a woman. It wasn't ask simple as that, of course. I went through the struggle most men go through when they come into the full realization of their affinity toward men; however, I had a good older friend who was bisexual to kinda mentor me through all of that. This was in my late 20s too, so I think my maturity at the time helped me deal a little bit better.

    Tell us about your interactions with heteros as a bisexual black man...
    My interaction with heterosexuals has been consistent and unchanged even before my own discovery. Most people assume I'm hetero and since I'm not openly bisexual, I've never encountered a situation where interactions would be anything other than what they are.

    Your interactions with homos as bisexual black man...
    Some homosexual men want nothing to do with me, some want me solely because I am bi. It's a bit of both.

    Is dating better from having more options or worse from being stuck in the middle...
    Dating seems better because of more options, but at first, it started out kinda lonely because I really didn't date guys at all at first. And for a while, I didn't want to date women because of guilt and because I was trying out this whole "alternative" thing with dudes. lol. But being the truthful, trustful guy I am, I still found it hard to date, once I accepted my bisexuality because I didn't know when the right time to was to tell the woman I was seeing that I was bi. But with time, I've dealt with my own psychology and now date men and women with no qualms. And as far as dating goes, human beings are human beings when it comes to finding love. Some things you deal with because you're dealing with a man, and some things you deal with because you're dealing with a woman. But you deal with something, regardless. In fact, in a lot of instances, I forget which gender I'm dealing with. lol. It's not perfect one way or the other.

    Do you feel like you don't fit in anywhere? Or do you feel like you have the best of both worlds because you can blend in everywhere...
    Both...depends on the moment. lol.
     
    #53 Sean, Jan 11, 2016
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2016
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