Who should pop the question???

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by bisonboy, Aug 25, 2015.

?

Who should propose?

Poll closed Sep 4, 2015.
  1. Top

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  2. Bottom

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  3. Bread winner

    16.7%
  4. Older

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  5. Younger

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  6. The one who is ready

    83.3%
  7. The one who can afford to get the ball rolling

    16.7%
Multiple votes are allowed.
  1. bisonboy

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    I went to lunch with a friend of mine today, who at one point in time I wanted to build a relationship with. Needless to say he is in a 2/3 year relationship now and we somehow got on the talk of marriage and he asked so who should propose. I said I recently saw a question about that. I told him, with my lack of relationship knowledge, that I think it should be a conversation first of whether you see yourself spending your life together with that person. Then I decided to text a friend of mine who got married to his husband. This was how that conversation went:

    Me: Who proposed you or your husband? How did he person who proposed decide to propose? My friend was wondering he's been in a 2-3 year relationship with his boyfriend.

    Him: I proposed. Decided to propose after our place was broken into and I realized that all that mattered was him

    Me: That's romantic as hell. How long had y'all been together up to that point?

    Him: lol less than a year. Husband and I first discussed being together forever after only being together a few months. Its not a feeling, its a decision.

    Me: Thats good stuff man

    Him: Indeed. Its difficult as fuck though. The rewards aren't "suited" for words though.

    Me: I believe it is. I'm light years from there.

    *-"suited" I'm not 100% if that was the intended word, it didn't flow for me, but maybe someone else understands.

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    #1 bisonboy, Aug 25, 2015
    Last edited: Aug 25, 2015
    mojoreece and Naturally10Me dapped this.
  2. ControlledXaos

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    So I guess verse guys are SOL when it comes to figuring out who should pop the question? lol

    Sexual roles shouldn't determine who 'gets down on bended knee.' IMO So with that out of the way....

    I'm not even one to say that the 'more masculine' one should propose either. I've told many straight women who...let's just say... are not "maidens" but still want the white dress and the man to do the proposing, even though, they have been with the guy for years. He's not trying to propose to you if he's got everything he needs out of the relationship.

    So to that end, I think whoever feel they are ready to be married needs to be the one to propose or bring it up. As unromantic as it sounds, I have not problem breaking it down into just a business decision so bringing it up as just a conversation is fine. I'd even say talk about what each other expects out of a wedding or ceremony. I for one, am not one for the pomp and circumstance so to me.... courthouse for paper work and then we'll have a nice reception/party but no walking down the aisle and all of that. I couldn't care less about paying thousands of dollars for a show when that's something we can put towards a better house, vacation, or Tesla.

    I did think I wanted the Home Depot Proposal experience because I thought that was absolutely awesome and can't lie.... if someone went to the trouble to propose to me like that, we would have to immediately go home and have some of the greatest sex ever. Bow chicka bow wow
     
  3. Sean

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    For me, one of the things that I like about liking guys is that the idea that a genuine partnership can be developed. When two men go into partnership, it doesn't matter who asks the other, as long as the asker and askee have both "brought something to the table" that will nurture and help that partnership to grow.
     
  4. KritiKal Analysis

    KritiKal Analysis "Be the Standard, Not the Substitute..." DMCureton
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    I agree with all the sentiments above. I would like to think that it would be a feeling that both would get after having some sort of conversation about it. Whomever has the finances to get the ring first is the one that should give it a shot. I just hope that the person will say yes when it comes to that. I have been at a dinner where the young lady proposed to my friend and he said "no."
     
  5. Kouncelor

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    Looking that survey, I hope that both parties have had discussions about marriage.. and its not to much of a surprise.
     
  6. Naturally10Me

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    I was thinking the same thing as @Kouncelor. I mean if somebody popped the question on me and I hadn't talked about it in depth, I would be turned off. There are a lot of shocks and life and that's not one of them I would want to have.
     
  7. bpaisle

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    Me and my dude had a conversation about this recently. He thinks he will be the one to propose first and I think it will be me. We have only been together for a year and a half so we won't be standing at the alter anytime soon but maybe we can revisit the conversation in a year or so. I do not think that it really matters who asks. I think that the person who can afford the ring and feels fairly confident that its the right time, then thats the person who should do it.
     
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