It’s a travesty how European colonialism in conjunction with Christian missionaries, have destroyed traditional beliefs and religions of indigenous native peoples around the world. One major blow pertains to gender and sexuality. Presenting written archeological and verbal (by way of spoken word or oral traditions passed down from elders) factual evidence can cause a level of cognitive dissonance in the minds of today’s religious believers or followers. For many in today’s society, it’s as if there is a retardation that prevents wonder or natural curiosity surrounding ancestral beliefs or customs outside of the Christian faith. Not only is it possible but irrefutable that 400 years ago, people not of European decent held and practiced beliefs and religions far removed from Christianity. Global Colonialism changed all of this.
I state all this because all my life I’ve heard same gender sexuality is a White man’s disease and practice. Even at a young age this seemed a fallacy for me. Nonetheless, over time, I believe millions of same gender sexual men of color have been indoctrinated with this belief. This has caused confusion and dysfunction in many. Same gender sexuality has always existed not only in the animal kingdom and natural world but also in the human species. As part of our platform, Cypher Avenue has presented this information before but admittedly not with enough frequency. As then, some of the information was / is of disbelief but I encourage individual research to draw your own conclusions. My personal goal has always been to say to same gender sexual individuals…“Please walk tall because there is nothing unnatural about you.” Attempt to look outside of today’s prisms and study world and ancient histories. Everything shouldn't be wrapped up in a White Jesus, the US Flag and Queen Elizabeth.
Homosexuality in Sub-Saharan Africa: Pre-Independence
By: Stephen O. Murray
The myth of exclusive heterosexuality in indigenous black/sub-Saharan Africa was widely diffused by the 94th chapter of Edward Gibbon’s Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire (1781). Referring to homosexual behavior, Gibbon wrote, “I believe and hope that the negroes in their own country were exempt from this moral pestilence.” Gibbon’s fond hope was based on neither travel to Africa nor on inquiry of any kind.
A century later, Sir Richard Burton, who unlike Gibbon did know something of Africa, reinforced the myth of African sexual exceptionalism by drawing the boundaries of his “sotadic Zone,” where homosexuality was supposedly widely practiced and accepted, in such a way as to exclude sub-Saharan Africa.
Especially where Western influences (notably Christian and Marxist) have been pervasive, there is now a belief that homosexuality is a decadent, bourgeois Western innovation forced upon colonial Africa by white men, or, alternately, by Islamic slave-traders. The belief of many Africans that homosexuality is exogenous to the history of their people is a belief with real social consequences–in particular, the stigmatization of those of their people who engage in homosexual behavior or who are grappling with glbtq identities. These beliefs are not, however, based on serious inquiry, historical or otherwise.
There are no analyses of the social structures of African societies written by indigenous people prior to alien contact. What is inscribed of “traditional” African cultures was written by some of the Northerners who disrupted African cultures, first travelers, then missionaries, colonial officials, and anthropologists. In many cases the observers inscribing “traditional” African culture did not understand that their presence as observers was itself a product of history and domination.
Nevertheless, the observing Europeans are the only source of data on homosexuality in Africa until the most recent few decades. Most of what can be learned about traditional African societies was inscribed in the last decade of the nineteenth century or later, when the continent had been colonized by European states. To keep down the costs of colonial government, European (and especially English) colonial regimes used “indirect rule,” endeavoring to maintain customary laws, though attempting to ban some customary practices, particularly sexual ones.
The travel, colonial, and anthropological literature include reports of native conceptions and native practices of male homosexuality in many societies across every region of the continent. Documentation of female homosexuality is less abundant, but exists for many cultures. The contact and colonial era reports are critically reviewed in Murray and Roscoe’s Boy-Wives and Female Husbands. Here, only a few examples of each of the main social organizations of homosexuality will be mentioned.
“Boy Wives”: Age-differentiated Homosexuality
In the central African Zande culture, before European conquest, it was regarded “as very sensible for a man to sleep with boys when women are not available or are taboo.” English anthropologist E. E. Evans-Pritchard was told that in addition to times when women were not available for sex, some Azande men had sex with boys “just because they like them.”
The adult males paid the families of boy wives, just as they paid for female brides. The two slept together at night, “the husband satisfying his desires between the boy’s thighs. When the boy grew up he joined the company and took a boy-wife in his turn. It was the duty of the husband to give his boy-wife a spear and a shield when he became a warrior. He then took a new boy-wife.”
One commander, Ganga, told Evans-Pritchard that there were some men who, although they had female wives, still married boys. “When a war broke out, they took their boys with them. . . . If another man had relations with his boy, the husband could sue the interloper in court for adultery.”
The South African Thonga provide another particularly well-documented instance of a boy-wife role. A number of southern and western African societies also had female husbands, though whether these husbands had sexual relations with their wives is unclear in what has been written. (It seems that anthropologists studying the phenomenon did not ask that question.)
Gender-differentiated Homosexual Relations
Gender-crossing homosexuality has been discussed as common in the (Nigerian) Hausa bori cult (and in Afro-Brazilian offshoots of west African spirit-possession religion).
Among the Maale of southern Ethiopia, some males crossed over to feminine roles. Called ashtime, these (biological) males dressed as women, performed female tasks, cared for their own houses, and apparently had sexual relations with men, according to Donald Donham. One gave Donham a clear statement of the “third gender” conception: “The Divinity created me wobo, crooked. If I had been a man, I could have taken a wife and begotten children. If I had been a woman, I could have married and borne children. But I am wobo; I can do neither.”
Among Swahili-speakers on the Kenya coast, particularly in the port of Mombasa, mashoga are transgendered prostitutes who have all the liberties of men and are also welcome in many contexts in which men are prohibited. The paid partner usually takes the receptive role during intercourse, but it is likely that his inferiority derives from the fact that he is paid to provide what is asked for, rather than from his undertaking a particular sexual role. The one who pays is called the basha (derived from “pasha,” a high-ranking official and the local term for the king in packs of playing cards).
Among the Fon, the predominant people in Dahomey (now Benin), Melville Herskovits in the 1930s reported that, after the age at which boys and girls may play together, “the sex drive finds satisfaction in close friendship between boys in the same group . . . . A boy may take the other ‘as a woman,’ this being called gaglgo, homosexuality. Sometimes an affair of this sort persists during the entire life of the pair” (though he earlier referred to homosexual relations as a “phase” through which adolescents pass).
Egalitarian Homosexual Relations
Most of the reports of homosexual relations not involving differences in age or gender status involved young, unmarried men’s sexual relationships with each other. Kurt Falk wrote about an especially intimate bond of association, soregus, among the southeastern African Naman that included sex both between men and between women (with mutual masturbation the most common form of sex, but also males taking turns at anal penetrations and females using dildoes on each other).
An “exceptionally reliable” Nykakyusa (a people living around what is now the Tanzania/Zambia border) reported to Monica Wilson in the early 1930s that male friends, who live in villages of age-mates when not out herding cattle, generally sleep together. The Nykakyusa accepted that male friends who danced together would have sexual relations. “Even if people see them in flagrante delicto, they say it is adolescence (lukulilo), all children are like that: they say that sleeping together and dancing is also adolescence,” according to Wilson’s elder. He reported that interfemoral intercourse is “what boys mostly do” and also reported anal and oral sex, (“some, during intercourse, work[ing] in the mouth of their friend, and hav[ing] an orgasm”).
With reports from hundreds of sub-Saharan African locales of male-male sexual relations and from about fifty of female-female sexual relations, it is clear that same-sex sexual relations existed in traditional African societies, though varying in forms and in the degree of public acceptance. Much of this same-sex activity was situational or premarital, though there were long-term relationships, too. The special Christian animus toward homosexuality was carried to Africa by Europeans and stimulated denials that “the sin not named among Christians” existed among “unspoiled” Africans.
About the Author:
Stephen O. Murray earned a Ph.D. in sociology from the University of Toronto. Since completing a postdoctoral stint in anthropology at the University of California, Berkeley, he has worked in public health. His books include American Gay, Boy-Wives and Female Husbands, and Homosexualities.
Note: Within ancient societal customs or traditions; it was common for young girls and young boys to marry their peers or be promised to older Men based on tribal stability, financial and survival reasons. In many countries these practices still exist. As women fight for their (and children’s) rights and freedoms, these practices are being abolished or altered but unfortunately in many countries these traditions prevail.
Read the whole post here.
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I stumbled upon a Huff Post Gay Voices review of this. Two black, Muslim teens navigate life in Brooklyn, hustling (by selling stuff, not their bodies) for money while exploring their mutual affection. Reviews from 2015 film festivals seem mixed, praising the characters, camerawork and authenticity while some state that the movie is somewhat shallow and the plot goes in disappointing directions. Variety says, "...what’s onscreen here feels observed rather than lived-in," possibly because it's written and directed by a white guy who based it upon interviews with Muslims regarding post-9/11 New York. It sounds like a decent way to spend 85 minutes. It will have a limited release in theaters on Friday, January 22 and a DVD and Video On Demand release the following week.
I have heard and seen Don Lemon called, coon, house nigga, sell-out, wanna-be white, etc. There are plenty of things he has said over the years that I absolutely disagree with; however this type of name calling, I never did. In all my years of being more “aware” of the world around me and watching cable news, I have never seen an anchor (Black or White) take the time to pay tribute to same gender loving Black men on national television. Don Lemon highlighted their academic accomplishments in addition to Esu’s partner and children. Give props when they are do!
- Thread: Props To Nick
I have to say, I've never seen the founder(s) of any site interact with their followers as much as @Nick Delmacy and @ockydub. It amazes me how they manage to hold down full-time jobs(Nick), shop all day at Whole Foods for nutritious/upscale foods, entertain several gentleman friends, go on luxurious boating trips and run the most popular website for Gay men of Color. They didn't just create it and sit back and pat themselves on the back, but they actually take the time to interact with with members ALL THE TIME. I never see that on other websites. Although I'm not on as much as i used to(the whole moving and working thing), It's cool to see new members interacting with seasoned squad members. And I know so many of these young dudes appreciate the attention they get from the founders. I Appreciate the work guys. I know it's hard and time consuming to do what you do but you do it damn well and it's definitely appreciated.
The DL or “down low” has been a topic we’ve covered in posts and podcasts since our first website Discreet City. Till this day, the word “discreet” still screams DL for a lot of people. Well, whatever.
Something that I have always found peculiar is that when there is a story of a married heterosexual White congressman or White conservative pastor who is exposed as a hypocritical closeted homosexual, the main stream media never refers to him as DL. The Down Low is uniquely African American…we started the term. We created another vernacular barrier that Black people have embraced to negatively label many Black same gender loving men.
For many in the Black community, DL isn’t limited to living a homo/bi sexual double life (in the traditional sense) but has evolved to also describe a non-descript homosexual man. This means he is not easily or outwardly identifiable as homosexual to other homosexuals or heterosexuals. Another term for this is “unclockable.” Even if this man is not deceiving anyone (which is the crux of the DL outrage) by simply existing, he is guilty of “hiding” in plain sight thus partially being deceitful.
Since 2011, there has been numerous DL or closeted homosexual related scandals and rumors pertaining to African American celebrities or personalities. From Bishop Eddie Long, former NFL players like Kerry Rhodes and Kordell Stewart, Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash, DJ Mister Cee, Andrew “I’m Not Gay No More” Caldwell, Rapper Young Thug, Michael Sam and the latest, former boxer Yusaf Mack.
Admittedly my degree of empathy is not equal between Eddie Long compared to Kerry Rhodes. While the good Bishop has long been against any form of LGBT equality, Rhodes was exposed by a supposed jilted ex-lover. Nonetheless; I think it would be disingenuous and delusional to not acknowledge the predominate factor that creates the down low or closeted men in the Black community, which are conservative ideals based in religion.
This is not about “well (White, Asian, etc.) people do it too”; this is exclusively about Black folk. We have a serious problem concerning the lack of empathy as it relates to DL or closeted LGBT individuals in the Black community; a community that through its actions and religious dogma, produces secrecy and hiding.
The typical recipe of ingredients for creating a down low man is as follows; teach him at an early age that society disdains his feelings and he is an abomination (not-natural). Teach him that his soul will burn in lakes of hell fire for all eternity. Teach him he is the same as a pedophile who abuses and kills children. Teach him he is a faggot and faggots are weak. Teach him that he wants to be a woman and not a man. Add a heaping spoon of judgmental ignorant hatred and stir. Just look and listen to the video below but keep in mind its nothing you haven’t heard before.
This recipe has been passed around in the Black community for countless decades and has been inserted into the thoughts and minds of a large number of young males who may have same sex attractions. As it cooks, it destructively nourishes their beings, beginning possible long term struggles with denial, self-esteem, depression or other mental conditions that can fester and manifest in dangerous ways.
Through conditioning these males learn to hide who they are as they maneuver through life seeking acceptance within their families and communities. By doing so many do what they see their peers doing; date and obtain girlfriends. Like most humans, what these males have been taught in their early years of development (their sexuality is bad) remains and travels with them to adulthood.
This year I found out a man I briefly dated (if you want to label it) years ago, not only was a pastor of a church but was married with children. At that time, I was already out of the gay scene and I had no idea that he was a well-known DL pastor. I found out because someone on social media reposted an old exposé with his picture. I was shocked that he so many knew of his personal business and affairs. The article also featured his online username, his bathroom nude pics, his phone number and several screen grabs of text messages. That post led me to another article which had a link to the pastor’s own rebuttal webpage. Of course it was filled with explanations like “I been lied on and my name has been dragged through the mud but I’ve been anointed with the blood of King Jesus…blah blah blah.”
In that moment, I truly felt bad for him. Growing up in the church and establishing a career and livelihood within the institution, he has been hiding his true self for almost his entire life. This is a direct result of the fear of rejection and disappointment from those in his family and ultra-religious church community that have taught him to hate his sexuality. I sent him a message to do a possible interview anonymously via email, where I hopefully would get him to share his obstacles and explain first-hand why he is DL and closeted. I’m sure he’d forgotten who I was and expectedly my email went unanswered.
The latest DL scandal finds retired boxer Yusaf Mack’s sexuality being exposed by way of a gay porn scene he starred in. In a matter of days his story went from him being drugged and having no recollection of the film to admitting that he lied about being drugged and he is in fact bisexual. In an interview, he stated while walking the streets of his native Philadelphia, many associates who were previously friendly with him, were now shunning him. A friend pulled him aside and told him the reason people were not speaking with him was because they had seen the gay porn film he had made months before.
As noted, Mack’s first reaction to this news was to lie. This was his conditioned natural reaction to the embarrassment and rejection by his community. I think it can be concluded that he wrongly assumed that no from his “heterosexual” hood would see him in a gay porno. Being honest, my first reaction to the story was “why is this dude lying…doesn’t he know he is making the situation worse?” I think most can correctly assume he’s doing porn because he needs the money.
Mack has since released an apology in which he states;
“After reflecting on the mess I had made I realized that I hurt a lot of my loved ones – and the people I cared about the most were left disappointed and confused. It was unfair and time to come clean.”In the numerous articles, blog postings and social media commentaries; compassion or empathy from African Americans (both heterosexual and homosexual) for Yusaf Mack is almost non-existent. There were the typical derogatory responses from straights and not surprisingly, gays were not chanting the popular gay mantra of “it gets better”. No one was telling him, “The world is so much bigger than your hood in Philly. There are people who will support you regardless of your sexuality.” No one was questioning the current state of his mental health since the gay porn scene came to light. Yusaf Mack denied taking part in gay porn out of fear of rejection…and the Black community proved him right. After the gay film production company threatened to sue, Yusaf owned up. While this scandal continues to play out, I just hope he doesn’t do something drastic like Lee Thompson Young or Sam Sarpong and take his own life?
“I want to say sorry to my children and my ex fiancé, I am so sorry that I was a coward and hid a huge part of my life from you all.”
“I’m not looking for sympathy or even understanding, I’ve kept this secret for a long time.”
“It is time to move forward and this is me walking in my truth.”
“There are other men and women that are set up in the similar situations and I just hope I can be inspiration to be just be you.”
“The extreme taboo and harsh criticism of living a same-sex lifestyle, especially as an African- American male, makes it hard to be completely honest and comfortable within yourself.”
“But I had to remember that I am a champ and I can fight and will fight through this.”
“I am more than my sexual orientation.”
Fear of being revealed and then rejected by friends and family is the DL or closeted man’s Kryptonite. On the outside looking in, who am I or anyone else to say when is the right time for someone else to “come out” being that their personal hardships or plights aren’t known? I’m sure the longer they hide their true selves the harder it is to escape the ruse that has been established.
I don’t condone a down low lifestyle or any type of relationship built on or around deceptions. I haven’t been a down low or closeted man in years. I do however; fall into the category of not wearing my sexuality on my sleeve, thus for many in my community, I’m guilty of hiding in plain sight simply because they can’t readily identify my sexuality.
Why do so many in the African American community have such a lack of compassion or empathy for down low or closeted men? I think many hide behind the simple reasoning that these men are dishonest, but rarely will these same African Americans hold a mirror to examine how they personally contribute to and drive the deceptions committed by their sons, nephews, grandsons, uncles and fathers. Many never will stop and think what anti-homosexual language they have used around their children or family members. What unobtainable negative concepts of masculinity have they conveyed? What foolish micro-aggressions like “boys shouldn’t eat bananas” have they instilled?
The African American community doesn’t have a problem studying the generational psychological traumas of slavery or psychosomatic side effects as it pertains to fatherless households, police brutality or prison incarceration. Is it possible we can study the roots of generational anti-homosexual attitudes in the community as well? Maybe then we wouldn’t circumvent the magnitude European supremacy has had on shaping the ideals of sexualities of African Americans as well as indigenous peoples throughout history through mass slaughter, enslavement and religious enforcement.
The African American community has made strides. We have a Black President and First Family who supports LGBT equality. We now have many open Black gay (and non-gay) pastors and bishops who focus on love and not fire and brimstone. In addition, we have had a number of Black same gender loving athletes to break barriers. Also, there are elements of the younger generation whose views and ideals are not as rigid, so I do feel there are some shifts in a more positive direction. However; let’s not pretend LGBT suicide, youth homelessness and transmittal of HIV among black homosexual men is not prevalent.
Even though many of our paths are different, I’m sure we all know what rejection feels like. Sometimes it has distinctive sting when it comes from people who look like you and are unwilling to show compassion or empathy.
Read the whole post here.
Yo! What's going on fellas. Haven't been on this site in YEARS. Finally tired of FB, and other mainstream Social Media outlets. Saw and email from this site, and figured I'll use this as a replacement. You can call me Mell. I am 30 years of age. Recently relocated to Alabama from Florida with my partner ** cough (roommate) cough**. I am a laid back kind of dude. Love sports - mainly college football (Go Canes), game on my xbox1 every now and then, enjoy going out here and there, but mainly I am at home, if I am not at work. Looking forward to many conversations on here with you all.
- Thread: Sexual roles
- Aug 28, 2015
- Daps Received:
- Thread: Older Dudes
- Thread: QUESTION: In High School Were You Openly Gay, Openly Bisexual Or Were You Pretending To Be Straight?
Life in high school in Jamaica was a mashpot of testosterone so any sign of homosexuality was and is looked down on. The only out students were in music club and they were generally left alone because they banded together. I on the the other hand generally sticked to myself, avoiding all relationships. At this point I was committed to finding a girl to be with so no guy was on my radar. But there was the occasion where a random attractive guy would come by and i would try my best to look from a distance. then immediately got a guilt of doing something wrong. So to save myself I avoided all such individuals.
Luckily sports/ physical education was not mandatory here so I wasn't tempted by the freaking hot dudes on the track team. Track and field is pretty big in the country. and these track guys wore the full track suits...... the ones that show everything..... and all these fuckers were
....damit .so i stayed away from sports .
My adolescent years I made it a point to hang out with the straightest, manlyest dudes I knew. Luckily they remained good friends even when I told them I was bi.. That's rare in this country.
It wasn't until i started gyming hard in the last 3 years that I have tried anything.
I think that you are idolizing and over valuing virginity in to market that couldn't care less. It's like getting a fresh 20 out of the ATM. It's cool to see but it still spends no more or any less than the older cash you already have.
However, it is important to YOU. So hold on to the value that you have given it. I can tell you that it is likely your first time won't be magical from either a top or bottom position. As a bottom you will probably have to take a while adjust and dilate or you may not be as.... Prepared... As you think you were and some... leavings may still be back there and as a top, unless you are a good dancer and have been practicing, stroke game could be awkward and it's highly possible you'll bust quick. Those are probably the worst physical things that commonly occur but are expected, all things considered.
Emotionally, you may feel different when you reflect on the event. But this is going to depend on the guy. The likelihood you'll find another Virgin in your age range is low but you could also find someone who just isn't that experienced. Not all non virgins are hoes or have high body counts.
So for you it'll be emotional but once you process the event, you'll be fine.
As far as who to toot up to first... Maybe you should not worry about that so much. It's likely your first sexual experience may not even involve full on penetration anyway. I would like to think that you'd not want the whole enchilada the first time you get nekkid with a guy. But if you do, hey, ain't nothing wrong. There's levels to this too if you like. So don't feel you have to hit every sexual bullet point the first time.
- Thread: If the Squad Were Rappers...
Okay.I'll just got down the list.These are the traits I saw everyone sharing with their counterparts
@ockydub /Ice Cube -hard-edged but still funny as hell at the same time
@Nick Delmacy /Kanye - both believe in themselves,have vision,
@SB3 /Tupac- get SB3 started on a speech or a serious topic and these two become indistinguishable
@ControlledXaos /Joe Budden - I was reading Budden's tweets and found out they share a condition :both suffer from a deficiency of sense
@cypher21 /Childish Gambino- Young nerds who are going places
@African King /Will Smith- both emanate good will (no pun intended) and share their strongest and best trait, Enthusiasm
@JNH412 /Shock G - brilliant but silly as hell
@KritiKal Analysis /Jay Z- laid back,cool,deep thinkers
@OhSheit /Tyler the Creator -sharp and fearless sense of humor
@Cyrus-Brooks /Chuck D- both have a militant vibe and are cool as fck.very rooted in their stances and can't be swayed
@acessential /J Cole -young dudes who have interesting things to say and never bore you with it
@bpaisle / Bobby Ray- good energy,shakes things up<----like with that pic thread that broke Cypher Ave.That's some B.o.B. eggplant friday sh*t right there
@Artistic Arsonist /Lupe Fiasco- animated
@alton / Andre 3000 -colourful personalities
Up next,everyone gets a diva.
- Thread: Masculine 4 Masculine
- Thread: First Time Bottoming
- Thread: #WCW Women's Appreciation Thread
- Thread: The Beauty of Peen
Yo, why did my mouth literally start watering looking at this thread.
Props to you @OhSheit. Nice post. Good to have some ratchet fun in this piece and not always be such upstanding gay men all the damn time. lol.
Side note - Good title too. Because this shit is beauty indeed. Wow it's some beautiful dicks out here. All sizes and colors and girths. MMMMMMM
(low key getting too excited, let me chill)
Am I the only one who doesn't want Odell to be gay? It's better for all of us if he isn't. It lets people know that there isn't a specific way a straight dude or a gay dude should act like. I want him to be a straight dude who is comfortable enough with himself to challenge gender norms and fuck with people. I hate how folks automatically assume he's gay because he steps outside the norm of what a straight dude should be. Gtfoh!
- Thread: What Does Your Username Mean?
My favorite composer-Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov. NikR.
In grade 8 I was trumpet section leader in the 9-12 band. I thought I was so cool until they handed me this one march by Rimsky-Korsakov. It was without a doubt the most difficult music I've ever played. It humbled me. I grew a lot that year.
I was a band nerd
- Thread: What Does Your Username Mean?
Yes very true! Its a meat market, if there is one flaw about someone, you know that in a couple of more swipes you can have something better. Intimacy, getting to know someone, etc. is more shallow than ever. We're living in the instant generation, everything is a touch away. I too contribute to this but I 'm trying not to.
- Thread: Depression
My point...a lot of times we are more similar than you know AND a majority of the time, your problems are not unique. We as black people and men don't like to discuss parts of our true selves.
- Thread: Out at Work
I have been out at work, but my last two jobs have been in the federal government, first the military and second the foreign service. Both those positions have strong family components. So I’ve been out at work for at least six years. However, before the repeal of DADT, I was only unofficially out. I had a few buddies on my FB who put two and two together. However, being out work is not protected in 35 states so I would indeed read up on workplace protections before outing myself at work. Don't mess up your bag
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