So Where does one meet masculine black gay men?

Discussion in 'Dating and Relationships' started by Infinite_loop, Sep 24, 2015.

  1. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
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    It's time to get serious about long-term relationships:
    I know this subject has been talked about A LOT. But let's make one thread for future reference:

    In your city, where do you go to meet masculine black gay men?

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. SB3

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    If you or anyone else figures this answer out, and shares it w the rest of us (esp those of us NOT in atlanta where apparently theres 17 house parties and events every night) I promise I will make your/their wildest dreams come true.
     
  3. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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  4. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    Masculine leaning gay/bi men are everywhere. You can meet them in typical environments like bars and lounges or at social gatherings. Lets not also forget the internet and social media.
     
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  5. SB3

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    Now u just posted a pic of what 8/10 of the online 'masc' guys look like! Lol
     
  6. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
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    What bars and lounges and social gatherings? I could've sworn all the black men I met are straight lol maybe my gaydar needs work :lupe1:. but the ones I meet online are always way too far.
     
  7. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    Seriously though, I've given multiple tips on the site on how to meet masculine guys literally for 4 years now. The people who still don't know after reading those are likely too closeted to really meet many men in the first place because 95% of the advice involves approaching guys in public places. I'd recommend staying anonymous on the apps and hookup sites until you get comfortable in your skin, homies.
     
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  8. OckyDub

    OckyDub is a Verified MemberOckyDub I gave the Loc'ness monstah about $3.50
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    OH shit...Nick went hard:bronbad::ohhh:
     
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  9. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    LOL nah not even...I mean we get this question all the time on the site so its not a big deal...but you said the same thing I been saying for years, "Get out and approach them."

    The VERY first guy I ever messed around with sexually, I approached him...It was back in college, we both rode the same bus, lived in the same apartment complex...I was tired of being a scared virgin so I stepped to him and he showed interest back, we took it from there. That experience proved to me that a closed mouth don't get fed.

    If you want to sell your car, you can't expect to attract many car buyers if you're too afraid to advertise that its for sale, too afraid to post photos of it and you keep it locked away in the garage. #IJS
     
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  10. OckyDub

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    :ufdup: you betta tell it....
     
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  11. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
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    Haha well damn... I guess he told y'all.

    Just in case anyone wants to read the articles from 4 years ago > The 10 Level Guide To Meeting Masculine Gay Men

    I've been through all these levels, except Chat Lines and sex parties and have met good and bad dudes mostly online. I guess the article about covers it.

    This thread turned into Dating 101 and it wasn't really the intention, but ok...
     
  12. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    Yeah that article was one of many. Here's another good one: Art of Seduction: The Top 12 Ways To Pick Up Gay/Bisexual Men of Color

    I think because there's no "Masculine Men Costco" in anyone's city, you have to look everywhere (Grocery stores, gyms, malls, clubs, house parties, bars, sporting events, etc).

    So I think the answer to your original question is: Everywhere a masculine man like yourself would likely go.
     
  13. SB3

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    Trust me, I know this is a topic yall have beat the brakes off but I do think location is a relevant factor. For some guys, its the smaller town issue. And even comparing NY to ATL, I wouldnt be so quick to dismiss the possibility, there, that having had such a large black and black, gay presence for so long, that a variety of black and gay 'scenes', have emerged. Not saying that to be fact, because Ive never lived there, but I know that in a city as diverse as NY, and where the majority of the black population is extremely hood, 'my' type of black and black/gay scenes are few and far btwn.

    Tbh, I was kinda just cosigning and stirring the pot of relatable frustration in my original post. But I guess my point here is that, speaking for myself, it's not abt an unwillingness to speak up, more so a lack of as readily present options.
     
  14. OckyDub

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    Well to be honest, when this discussion comes up, I think we need to not respond by saying "we talked about this before" or "Cypher Ave already talked about this." Folks may be new or not new but not be familiar with the numerous posts that have been on Cypher Ave. Also for new people who may have NEVER heard of Cypher Avenue and may be new to The Boards...I think the better response would be to answer their questions on the topic and direct them to the numerous Cypher Ave posts on the topic. Keep in mind I'm not just speaking on my own responses but to others as well.
    :troll:
     
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  15. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
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    Masculine Men Costco :wtb: LOL. Agreed on looking where black men frequent.
    In my perspective, there are 3 layers of complexities with meeting masc black gay men:
    1. Masculine
    2. Black or (of Color)
    3. Gay

    Much easy to meet or find them in cities that have high black populations(ATL, NYC, Chi,..), Much difficult in cities that are predominantly white.
    I am the partying clubing type that might not also be my problem. But I can see other places being viable.
     
  16. SB3

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    Not to mention, I wasnt even talking abt dating necessarily. The other thing thats been beaten to death is the fact that gay mofos look at u like u have 2 heads, and, w the ill side eye, when it comes to being open to platonic socializing lol
     
  17. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
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    [​IMG]
     
  18. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
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    Exactly!!
    [​IMG]
     
  19. Nick Delmacy

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    :snoop: What's the point of having years worth of archived articles and advice if I can't point to it?
    And not once did I say we already talked about this so don't ask....Stop trying to be messy :camby:
     
  20. over-it

    over-it Only the REAL

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    The BEST place to meet masculine men is LIFE! You have to live and experience things. Go to music fests, artist showcases, the grocery store, the gym, church, TJ MAXX... Masculine men generally need to eat, shop for soap (hopefully), and enjoy music/sports. Go places where those things are likely to take place. IJS...
    :comeon:
     
  21. Nick Delmacy

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    Sounds like you already have the answer to your question, bro...If finding a masculine black gay man is that crucial to you and you think it would be easier to do so in another city, might be time to consider moving...

    No different than if you thought it was too hard to find a job in your field in the city you're currently living in...
     
  22. Infinite_loop

    Infinite_loop Is this thing on?
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    Yes, but I love this city :banderas: I am considering moving but I just started out my career. I need a few more years here and hopefully things would have changed by then.
     
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  23. Nick Delmacy

    Nick Delmacy is a Verified MemberNick Delmacy Da Architect
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    One thing to remember though is that if YOU are in that city, there are others there as well.....If you have no problem approaching guys in public and still can't find a masculine gay dude you may be "doing it wrong" and need to change your techniques or approach, maybe change WHERE you're approaching them...you live in NYC, between the 5 Burroughs and Jersey, you should have the pick of the litter.

    [​IMG]
     
  24. questforknowledge

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    I think about this all the time, I'm glad there is a post on this. The problem with meeting masculine gay men is one figuring out who may be gay since masculine men will not be as obvious to the eye. Sometime they will make it obvious if they give you the look or maybe their body language when they interact with you, but sometimes it's not that obvious. So let's say you are approaching a guy that catches your eye and you don't know if they are gay for sure, how are you supposed to maneuver that situation especially if you aren't out yourself? It's not so easy or straightforward. I've talked to random guys that I have met while out and about, but have not been successful with meeting masculine guys that way. Its easier to meet guys at a club, bar, or event where you know the guys there are gay. But then you don't find a large amount of masculine men at gay events. If you do happen to come across a guy that you find attractive you can't be afraid to approach them and try to generate a conversation somehow. I do this occasionally, but even still for me I find it hard to determine if they are gay and what to do next sometimes.
     
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  25. questforknowledge

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    And another thing location definitely has a huge impact when trying to find masculine men of color. You can live in a small town or maybe live in a metropolitan area that happens to be predominantly white so it would be difficult to find masculine men of color. It has to be an area where there is a large gay population. You can also meet some masculine dudes off of the apps, but the problem is some of those guys are DL.
     
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  26. OhSheit

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    A lot of great points here. Personally, I'm just a lazy ass scary ass bitch to go searching.

    The most desperate thing that I've done was find some names from dudes on campus and facebook search/stalk to see if I find something clockable and then go in for the kill all naturally as if I didn't stalk them... or at least that was the plan. It worked a couple of times but I still didn't approach them because I felt guilty for being a creep lmao. No more of that though.
     
  27. Naturally10Me

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    I agree they are everywhere. Some places more prevalent than others. I can't say I have found the ultimate masculine men. I have met a lot of fakers.
     
  28. BlackguyExecutive

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    I would recommend gay sports leagues. In my area we have a pretty awesome gay softball and rugby league and I was surprised with the number of brothers that I have never seen at the gay bar out there playing. There are lots of alternative activities outside the club scene or app scene where you can find men. If that doesn't work. There is always craigslist.
     
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  29. SB3

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    Funny u mention that. Ive been thinking abt joining a team for a minute! I think a lot of guys sleep on this.

    And pls dont ever mention craigslist in the same breathe as meeting ppl
     
  30. BlackguyExecutive

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    Ok. Let's just scratch Craigslist.

    [​IMG]
     
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  31. LeMignon

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    This is exactly what I thought about when meeting guys.
     
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