We are digging in the crates and bringing you some of Cypher Avenue’s greatest hits. The ever creative Nick Delmacy always brings the fire with “The Lists” and this one was no exception. I was thrilled when this particular list was released because it most certainly allowed us to get some shit off our chest.
Feel free to leave your feedback and disagree our share your own misconceptions by straight men.
Ocky Williams
This is one of the main misconceptions that bother me the most…Straight men seem overly paranoid about the idea of another man looking at them lustfully. To make it worse, its usually the most unattractive dude in the entire group making the most noise about it. Just as heterosexual men are NOT physically attracted to ALL women, homosexuals are not attracted to all men. And even if a gay guy was attracted to you, just be flattered and appreciate that at least one person out there thinks you look good. Example: When I’m in a club and a group of unattractive, drunk women catcall at me…I just blush, nod, smile, flirt a little and keep it moving.
This is actually true for SOME gay men, hell this is true for some men in general. But the majority of masculine gay men out there lead pretty mundane, average lives in their free time. We go to sportsbars, play video games, watch movies, etc just like everyone else. The stories of gay men spending all of their spare time looking for sex parties, hookups and male escorts for a “massage” are mostly fiction. Many of the gay men I know who are not in relationships don’t have much sex at all actually. Well, no more than the average heterosexual man.
You wouldn’t believe how many times I’ve heard this…mainly from feminine men. They say, “You need to just be yourself.” Like being gay means you’re incapable of also being masculine. Then there’s the straight people that assume you must be “hiding” if you’re masculine. To them, being masculine is a constant, exhaustive pretend-act just to hide your homosexuality from them, getting personally betrayed if they find out that you were gay all along. Here’s what I say to them: First of all, Masculinity is natural for most of us just as it is for you. Secondly, unless I want to have sex with you, the fact that I’m gay is none of your fucking business.
I have a big family and lots of friends and I know I’m not the only gay man in either group. Its statistically impossible for me to be…recent studies suggest that in the Western World, 2-13% of men are Gay, Bisexual or at least have had one sexual experience with another guy in their lifetime. So that means if you’re in a room with 10 of your male family/friends, chances are at least one of them likes cock.
This could not be farther from the truth. Especially if you consider the stats listed above. In a team of 20 players, odds are at least 2 of them are gay/bisexual. Besides, at the end of the day we’re men…men with testosterone. The need to compete is embedded within our DNA. Essentially, its only natural for us to not only be interested in sports but to also play them. The photo above features players in the National Gay Flag Football League and the Logo reality series, “Shirts and Skins” featured players in the National Gay Basketball Association. But don’t get me wrong though: There are many gay men that just pretend to be into sports to look at the men.
Gotta love the first 1! Its like, ‘do u see me???….ok, now go look at urself!’
Number #1 typically gets me heated. The same funky face fat f*cks who get IGNORED by women everyday will think a Gay dude wants them and their sh!t stained draws. It would be funny if it weren’t so frustrating.
Sometimes they think we wanna be women too
Im with u on #3 tho about my sexuality not being your business.im like,we won’t be together so why are you worried about it
You got me on all points but #1 to me is the most assumed misconceptions. Personally I do not believe they really mean what they say when they say that gay men are all ‘looking’ and preying on them and they are concerned as they all shower together- the NFL & NBA assholes are the main culprits here. It tears me up..And I just want to tell them ..nigga be glad someone is looking at your ass..you probably getting off on the thought…
They assume this only to spread and confirm what they THINK they know of being gay. Its immature assumptions- I’m left handed therefore I use my left hand all the time…You are gay so therefore you look at all men all the time…Oh how pathetic…I would tell them to challenge their assumptions..they are the windows to anyone’s world..scrub them off to let some light shine through asshole!
okay,
the one you really are wrong about is why black gay men are not in committed relationships…the reason is that most black gay men have to deal with the “shame” of who they are…hint, i am not out, i don’t want to be “clockable” when we go out, you can’t be seen with effeminate gay men…
why? because you are ashamed of this and you can’t take what ST8’s will say about you…if gay men really want to be in a committed relationship, they need to be “out” and feeling good about who they are and feeling great about the man you love…most gay man cannot even say, i am in love with this “man”..why, shame…
as long as you hide, you will never be proud and accepting of who you are..hint, you bring baggage and drama to a relationship which will cause the relationship to most definitely end…can you take your boyfriend to meet your Mom..nope, damn why man…because i would be ashamed you our relationship and what she will think of me..that i am less of a person/man…shame
as gay man who has dealt with the issue of shame all of my life, i will not “tolerate” anyone disrespecting me for what and who i am..if i like myself, i don’t have to hide it or worry about what haters will think…to hide who are is to condone that everything you are is wrong according to the naysayers (st8’s and even other gay men who will tell you “well, i know its wrong because the Bible tells me so”) what is that, it’s shame…
just like i would never allow anyone to disrespect me because i am black or because i am a man…i am not ashamed (anymore) of who i love…i need to be happy and am entitled to a loving supportive relationship too..i want to be able to do anything with my “partner” just like my brother does with his wife…peace