Brehs, we present to you a new episode of the CYPHER AVENUE PODCAST where you’ll hear us give updates, engage in heated topic debates, interviewing interesting homosexual men of color and us verbally adding on to the articles posted on the website.
The episodes will be available in four ways: You can listen to them on the site, watch on YouTube, download a MP3 version or subscribe to us on iTunes for automatic updates!
In this podcast, Cypher Avenue founders Ocky Williams and Nick Delmacy celebrate their last pod of the year by getting into heated arguments about their Blatino Awards nomination, older men dating younger, dating men in already in relationships, interracial dating, “Instagram Gays” and their earliest Gay thoughts.
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*whispers* It’s 2014.
Ugh, thanks!
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Oh I was just in a facebook group where everyone was talking about how they wouldn’t mind dating someone 20 years younger than themselves. I’m like…if people don’t know if he’s your boyfriend or your son….there’s a problem. No one felt me though.
PODCAST! I have always had an attraction to men older than I am. It has ranged from 5-20 years age difference with people of some interest. It was never about what they could do for me financially. I unfortunately am a person that feels uncomfortable with someone even buying me dinner. If we click and I’m attracted to you then we can explore it.
Gay men don’t know how to date each other, period. No one is raised to date the same sex. I still am learning as I’m going. Being gay men and trying to deal with deciding what type of relationships you should have with other cool gay men is very difficult. I’ve had many friends hit on me later on, or tell me they like me. Also, If I’m being honest I’ve struggled with eventually liking someone I was friends with. It’s tough to navigate.
Interracial dating has never been an issue for me. I don’t understand the problem. You like who you like and who I like or date doesn’t have shit to do with you. That wouldn’t make me ashamed of my race, an Uncle Tom, etc. To assume that is ignorant as fuck.
I know that exact moment with the barber!!!!! I still get that.
My first gay thought…I was like in 3rd grade (didn’t know what gay was) and I was infatuated with this other boy in the class and would “Fantasize”as much as a 3rd grader can fantasize lol. At that point I didn’t know what sex really was. I knew it involved a penis and to me the only thing a penis does was urinate so when I fantasized about him there was just…a lot of peeing. This may have been a mistake to put this up here lol. I, for the record, am not into golden showers. Of course, later on my sexual thoughts became more intense and accurate.
Man, I was like “Y’all Negros don’t know my life like that!”
Veerrrrryyy difficult navigating the “Dude is Mad Cool” zone and flip flopping between which direction your relationship should go. I know I’ve latched on and tried to stake a claim before just because when it probably should have just been platonic.
I know for me, I have to actively remind myself to just keep things chill and platonic for a minute. Getting to know people takes time and you just can’t get dazzled by attraction.
I know I talked about dating range somewhere before but I still keep to that +/- 8 factor. You need to have at least clicked over to 30. But 50 seems a bit tooooo old, however, I’ve found some 50+ year old attractive. Too bad they have to be gym active to be that way. I just have no love for out of shape 48+ year olds.
I’ll have to come back to first gay though though….
“I just have no love for out of shape 48+ year olds.”
LMAO!
Let me clarify though. lolol I’m not saying you gotta have rippling abs because I don’t. But at 48, there’s a level of ‘out of shapeness’ I can accept because…well, dude is 48+ HOWEVER If you can’t see your junk because your beer belly got you looking like it’s the 9th week of the 3rd trimester, no.
I can deal with some thickness and a little belly but come on now. lol
“No one is raised to date the same sex”
This right here, my dude, is everything. LOL It’s true. That is a MAJOR factor in why we as gay men tend to have such f#$ked up relationships, we rarely, if ever, get the opportunity to practice. I don’t see (most) gay mens’ desire for relationships as being “effeminate” or “womanly” like most “demeaningly” do, (maybe their “butthurt” reactions to rejection or being played, yeah, but not the actual desire to be with someone). I feel for the most part, the shit is because we just flat out don’t get the chance to do shit like straight people do. Where the average dude has “been there, done that” by the time they turn 20, “we” usually don’t start datin’ “comfortably” until we’re well into our 20’s.
My first “gay thought” was when I was 7 or 8yo. There was this Mexican kid in my apartment complex, probably around 10-12yo, and I was infatuated with him because I thought he looked like a vampire. So I used to fantasize about gettin’ bit by him. LOL Strangely tho, I actually had a “gay act’ before the “Gay Thought” ’cause I used to dry hump with this kid Danny, that lived across the street from me when I was like 5yo LOL
I remember being around 11 years old (age of my short stint on team chunk), n I remember thinking some of my friends/classmates had the bodies of gods. Of course, in hindsight, they were twigs, but u couldnt tell me that back then.
Also, I def can relate to the barber story. He was my sister’s bf’s bff, and he cut my hair from like, age 9/10, and I was def crushing hard.
Let me get off of here before somebody think’s I’m gay…
When it comes to my first gay thought while growing up may have happen either in the first or second grade. Before going on a field trip, each classmate as assign a partner. Well I remember me wanting to partner up with this one boy I thought was cute, but ended up being with, what I thought was, the class ugliest dude, with really big eyes.
Also, as I think back on the early “gay” moments of my life, my mind also goes back to kindergarten, on the bus. I remember looking over to the left and seeing these two black boys dry humping. One was sitting normal in his seat, while the other was on top of him, trusting. The was the very first time that I had seen anything gay. Even though I had this feeling that they were doing something they had no business doing, “Gay” never even crossed my mind. That word wasn’t even in my vocabulary.
And so one or two years later, I had a little crush on my first dude, I guess I could say. It wasn’t until I was in the third grade, still having crushes on dudes in my class where I was introduced to the term GAY. Me and this one dude would dry hump, and I remember this one girl would repeat that me and J was gay. I’m stunned me and him never got caught. LMFAO. Even though we did do it behind this wall where the book bags were kept. Though I wanted to continue dry humping with J, I remember him saying on few occasions how he doesn’t want to be gay anymore.
And side note, I cant help but to wonder. If I never saw those two boys back in kindergarten dry humping on the bus, would I be gay today???
” I remember him saying on few occasions how he doesn’t want to be gay anymore.”
lmfao First thing pop up in my head when I see this line…
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcReQG1PVCb7nFv8aqpc1hFdqeyJqYWIJsNMDknTYMaLfs7J1cTs
Delivert is real! Don’t doubt the movement. Andrew Caldwell is a prophet.
WOMENWOMENWOMEN
Thoroughly enjoyed the podcast. Can’t wait for 2015 and what Cypher Avenue will bring!
When I was about 8 or 9 my friend Chris had another boy Jerry hanging around with him over the summer.I thought Jerry was really cute.I actually told my mother “I think I’m gay” because I think Jerry is cute.She helped me figure things out.Her conclusion was thinking someone of the same sex is a good-looking person isn’t enough to make you homosexual.She told me if I wanted to kiss or touch Jerry maybe I was actually gay,and since I didn’t want too( too young for that to cross my mind) she told me not to worry about,and if I was gay,I’d eventually figure it out later.
Alright, mom, for not being judgmental nor trying to get you to change. I’m glad she let you figure it out. That’s awesome right there!
I’ve been fortunate enough to have parents who are totally cool about it.However,I wish I knew what Jerry looks like now as a grown man lol.
A few time ago I went through different gay “famous” people’s instagram accounts and in Derrick Gordon’s there is a few old white guys telling him how cute smile he has, yes it is weird but we really don’t know what the deal is with these men, we can’t generalize. I’m mexican and I’m sure there would be people jumping to the conclusion that I’m here only because I’m lusting after that big black cock, as Ocky said, but first: that’s their own perception; second: they don’t know me and third: I’m in Mexico City so that’s not it. I get that black people are distrustful of other races, and with every right to be (there’s a lot of people distrustful of the USA here), but there’s fucked up people and nice poeple everywhere. Sometimes it’s our own insecurities projecting our prejudices. I know the site is mostly for black men but I happened to like it, the articles, the podcasts, the humor, the idea of masculinity, so why shouldn’t I like it?
I had a cruh on a boy through all elementary school but it wasn’t sexual, however when i was 11 or 12 yo there was a boy on the chair next to me who almost daily had a hard-on in class and I couldn’t not watch him and everytime I was turned on.
Video blogs? Great idea! It would be cool to see your facial expresions to the things you talk about, anyway never stop doing what you’re doing the way you’re doing it!
Great podcast!