Does This Picture Offend You?

By OckyDub | Posted Mar 23 2016 | 41 Comments  

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Readers know I’m very open and honest. Am I offended by this picture?…No. Am I a little bothered?…Yes. Probably not for the reasons you may think.

I should expound just a little…I’m slightly bothered. The reason is not because the dads are gay. Not because the adopted kids are black. I’m slightly bothered because these kids will grow up in a world dominated by racism and white supremacy and these caring fathers may not be able to educate and prepare these beautiful kids to the harsh reality of a world who views their black skin as negative.

This can be resolved by exposing these children to cultural heritages. Members of the Black community who can share experiences as a form of education would assist the kids with maneuvering the landscape. YES, I think of history and the evils that White society inflicted upon Black people’s bodies and minds during slavery. Nonetheless, I have to understand logic and realize my apprehensions and cautions when it comes to white people (regardless of history and my experience) are mine. I own them. Some white folks did assist in abolition and ending slavery. BUT wounds are still wounds.

My concerns are important but minuscule compared to the beef of many heterosexual Black people. I respect their privacy but please know the below responses are from real people in a group I belong to on Facebook.

“Sickening”

“This is some bulls%&t”

“It’s your life to live but when you bring children into this madness you have no clue of how to train a child the way they should go and this is not it I’m praying for these children NOW”

“People in this group kool with grooming black boys for the homosexual lifestyle.”

“This is effed up…Bad.”

“Just out of concern why are all the children black?”

“Perverted sexual fantasies”

“If they treat them good so what. How many of you have adopted any black kids???? Thought so. Does everything have to be about black and white? They are becoming orphans at a higher rate than ever before.”

“I hear ya sis but I’m sure some kids in the trailer park need rescuing also. Just saying. …”

“Well why don’t we all go and fill out paperwork next week and adopt a little black kid and save them from white people.”

“Why do they have black kids? There is motive behind this shit!”

“Growing up listening to your father get it up the back side from your other father, will mess your head up.”

Oh, and they had Hashtags and all Jesus…

#NotNormal
#StopInterracialAdoption
#EndSameSexCoupleAdoption
#FosterCareCurrentDaySlavery
#WeMustResumeTheVillage
#TheyCannotHaveOurChildren
#ChildrenAreNotAnAccessory
#ParentingIsALifeLongContract

I mean they might as well had said the gay couple are fattening the kids up so they could eat them. Really people?

I have previously spoke on my similar experiences when I was attempting to be a “Big Brother” and mentor a young man. The guardians of these young men were not having it. Due to me being open with my sexuality on my application and during the interview process; my homosexuality was a scarlet letter that prevented me from mentoring a troubled male youth in need. In laymen terms, “my nigga fuck your life experiences, wisdoms and nurturing. These boy’s parents may be in prison for murder, drug trafficking, prostitution, arson or rape…but at least they aint no fucking faggot.”

These men opened their hearts and homes and adopted Black children. How can somebody be mad at that? Many people feel they will “turn” the kids gay. Most LGBT people are raised in heterosexual households and for some strange reason aren’t turned “straight.”

Let’s hear directly from the couple who said “Fuck it. I want kids now and I don’t care where they’re from or what race they are. I need to be a dad because I have so much love and nurturing to give.” Well I made this statement up but still you get my point. Oh and be sure to check out the comments on the website for their story at GaysWithKids.com


Miami’s Most Stylish Family: Gay Dads Danny and Roger and Their Three Kids

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Danny and Roger cut a distinct shape on Biscayne Boulevard in Miami. Co-owners and managers of Kore Boutique, they dress the part of a stylish, cutting-edge couple. But the fashion-forward sense does not stop there. Their three gorgeous kids walk the walk as well. This chic family documents their life and style on their very popular Instagram accounts. Together, Roger and Danny have close to 22,000 followers, and we can see why. Gays With Kids shares a little of this family’s story.

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Danny and Roger have been together for nine years. Danny (photo above, right) was born and raised in Miami, and Roger (photo above, left) is an Iowa native. They met at a bar in Miami beach and were married on May 8, 2009 in Roger’s home state.

Although Roger was uncertain whether kids were in his future, Danny always wanted to be a dad. It was Danny’s strong desire to be a father that made Roger realize his own paternal dreams. They adopted their first child, 6-year-old Sebastian, through a private agency and they’ve had him since birth. When they tried again with an agency, they experienced two failed attempts and ended up losing money.

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As a result, they decided to try foster-to-adopt to expand their family. London, who is 2 years and 9 months, joined the family in June 2014; 2-year-old David became Danny and Roger’s third child in December 2014. Both London’s and David’s adoptions were finalized in 2015.

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When asked about their journey to fatherhood, Roger explained, “We feel there are so many children without homes that they did not need to be our biological children. We wanted younger children but race was never chosen. Our first son we got at day one, our daughter at 14 months and our youngest son 20 days before his first birthday.”

As Roger can attest, the foster-to-adopt system isn’t always straightforward: “It’s not easy, I’m not going to lie. But the rewards are so great and beautiful. The foster-adoption system is flawed, but if you have time and patience there are so many kids that need to be loved and need good loving parents.”

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The foster-to-adopt process took what felt like an eternity for the family. It also seemed to involve an entire village with two social workers and two guardians ad litem in multiple court dates. Although creating one’s family through foster-to-adopt may not be for everyone, Roger does point out some serious benefits: children in the system get Medicaid health care until they are 18, and they can attend a state university for four years free of charge. Roger advises, “The way we went about creating our family may not be for everyone. Choose your way, embrace it, love it, and most importantly, love your children.”

Roger and Danny, whom the kids both call Daddy, are teaching their children that despite everyone’s differences, people are all the same on the inside, and to remember to love as they are loved. Follow Danny and Roger at @danny120378 and @rogerlisrael_sanchez.

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Props to them for stepping up, seeking, proclaiming and owning fatherhood.

Nonetheless, be honest… what is your initial reaction when seeing the picture and how do you feel about this couple and their adoption choices?

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About the Author
OckyDub

Octavius is a founder and editor of Cypher Avenue. He's here to help speak for us and show the world that masculine gay / bisexual men of color are not a part of the stereotypical gay normal that is seen and fed to the masses. No...we are a distinct breed, filled with character and pride. Cypher Avenue is here to show the world how we are different.

   
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41 Comments Feel Free To Join The Cypher.

  1. Delvin McCann
    Delvin McCann | March 23rd, 2016
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