Hillary Clinton is now the Presumptive Democratic Nominee for President of the United States. And she earned the fuck out of it.

She has won more states than her competitor Bernie Sanders. She has won more pledged delegates than Bernie Sanders. And, probably most importantly, she has garnered 3,697,234 million more votes than Bernie Sanders.

Bernie wanted a “political revolution” and the people were like, “Nah, we good.”

Namely, those voters who shrugged at Sanders’ message were Older Americans. And Black Americans. And Latino Americans. And LGBT identifying people. And people in densely populated cities and states. And many more…except for the “young people.”

Yes, the “young people” that cable news pundits and data journalists have been echoing that Clinton is losing. The demographic that they claim is so crucial to beating Presumptive GOP nominee Donald Trump in the fall general election. The same “young people” that detractors point towards to say that Hillary Clinton is not “energizing the base of voters.”

Let’s put aside the fact that Clinton has been leading in the National Dem Polls since her announcement into the race:

Instead, let’s discuss the main contradiction in Clinton’s so-called “young people” problem. Them niggas apparently don’t vote.

For months now my social media feed has been painted with links and photos of the huge crowds that Bernie Sanders has attracted. These images are often captioned, “What the mainstream media doesn’t want you to see.”

Okay cool, Sanders’ rally with 30,000 attendees didn’t cut into my viewing of a new episode of Judge Judy, conspiracy confirmed. But why didn’t all those people, and more, show up to actually VOTE for their beloved candidate when it mattered?

A friend of mine, who is a staunch Bernie supporters, sounded genuinely bewildered why Bernie supports would stand out in the cold for hours to hear him speak, but not bother to show up to the polls.

Here’s a (possible) explanation for that: The people at his rallies either don’t care to formally participate in the process…or many of them aren’t actually old enough to do so. I wonder just how many of those “young people” are actually old enough to even vote?

Let’s say they were all actually of legal age to vote in their respective states, that still doesn’t mean that they will vote.

While I’ve always been pretty into politics since I was a “young person” (thanks to television shows like Saturday Night Live and that old British political puppet show Spitting Image), I never actually bothered to vote in an election until the 2000 Bush/Gore election. I’m living proof of how unreliable a voting block “young voters” are.

So over the last 6 months I watched CNN and MSNBC hosts ask pundits how Hillary Clinton will overcome her youth vote gap…but they never once asked how a Bernie Sanders nominee could overcome his “older voters” problem. Older voters (35 and up) are the most reliable and plentiful block of voters. ESPECIALLY old-ass Black voters. Bernie has had zero love from them since Day One.

So even if these die-hard, Bernie or Bust, young voters keep saying they well never vote for Hillary Clinton in the General Election, whose to say that they would have even voted for Sanders? They clearly didn’t do so in the primaries. Not in the numbers needed to make a difference, at least.

Who The Fuck Cares What Bernie Sanders Wants?!

So this brings me back to my initial question. Who The Fuck Cares What Bernie Sanders Wants?!

As I type this, cable news pundits keep asking, “What does Bernie want from Hillary Clinton and the DNC?”

My rss feeds are filled with titles like this:

What Does Bernie Sanders Want Now?

What does Bernie Sanders want?

What Bernie Sanders Wants – and What He Can Offer

And not once is anyone saying, “No wait, Clinton has convincingly won this primary, the question is what does SHE want?”

He’s the loser. Many of his supporters don’t even vote. Who they fuck cares.

Bernie, take your ball and go home, we have plenty others:


Seriously though, this notion that the winner of a competition has to kow-tow to the loser and their fans at his/her awards ceremony is ludicrous.

Imagine if the NFL’s Denver Broncos had to bend over backwards for the demands of the New England Patriots after beating them in the AFC before moving on to also very convincingly beat the Carolina Panthers in the 2016 Super Bowl.

Peyton Manning: “Even though we beat you, New England Patriots, what do you want us and the NFL to do for you and change before we head to the next round?”

You see how stupid that sounds?

Elections have consequences. Winners should have the loudest voice and say-so, not the runner-up.

What makes this all so frustrating for me, as a person who doesn’t “hate” Bernie Sanders or his ideas, is that there is an awful lot of hypocrisy going on here.

  1. Bernie has been a proud Independent for decades but decides to become a Democrat when its convenient for him. Then he has the nerve to bitch about the clearly state rules in a system he voluntarily chose to join. If you have so much integrity, stand by the courage of your convictions.
  2. Bernie complains about the primary elections “not being democratic” but the facts show that he’s done best in Caucuses, an election system that makes it VERY difficult to vote. The primary elections this cycle that were open and the easiest have mostly been won (in large margins) by Hillary Clinton.
  3. Bernie railed against the Super Delegates system all year…except when it was clear that he had NO OTHER PATH TO VICTORY. On top of that, the voters have spoken. As stated above, she has the majority in all categories: Popular Vote, States won and Pledged Delegates won. The people don’t want Bernie…yet he wants the Super Delegates, who have NEVER gone against the will of the people, to all become totalitarian and undemocratic.

The list goes on…

While Bernie isn’t really hurting our chances of keeping a liberal in the White House, he’s still being very fucking annoying. And I’ll be happy once he (and his #BernieBros) finish raging against the dying light and finally go gentle into that good night.