As you read my posts on this website you’ll discover that I have a fascination with COMING OUT STORIES. Every guy I meet that tells me, “My family knows” or “My friends know”, I ask what were the circumstances that lead to them knowing. EVERYONE has a unique experience but the stories always fall into two categories: Coming Out and/or Being Outed.

I’m technically Out myself but I’m never sat anyone down to say “I’m Gay”…so the subject interests me…It wasn’t until I hit 30-years-old that I fully accepted being Gay [ie: seriously trying to acquire fellow Gay friends as well as Gay dating and relationships instead of just casual hookup sex].  But by then it was too late to “Come Out” like people do on tv (or on tumblr, lol). At this age, I’m a grown-ass-man. No need to sit anyone down to make an announcement about a sex life that doesn’t concern them. Unfortunately, when people know you’re Gay, that becomes your label. You become “The Gay Son” or “The Gay Cousin” or “The Gay Friend” or “The Gay Co-Worker” to all of the non-Gay people in your life. Example: “Hey Everyone. This is my friend, Nick Delmacy (whispers: He’s Gay).” So I choose remaining Discreet [not DL, I believe there is a difference].

Unfortunately, being “discreet” brings its own set of complications that we’ll discuss in later posts.

If anyone were to ask me if I was Gay, I’d probably just tell them. But even then I could honestly say “No” since technically I’m bisexual…however, in 30 years, no one [that matters] has ever asked. Even while living in Atlanta… And I’ve also never been Outed.So I occasionally wonder what my life would have been like if I had come Out or was Outed at a young age.So when I saw this storyline in the 14th season of the NBC series “E.R.” about an 18-year-old African American guy being Outed to his older brother, I watched with my usual fascination.The story spanned 5-episodes and featured the ever masculine actor Mekhi Phifer as the older brother that walks in on his younger brother in a compromising position with another man.The younger brother is played by the “Smallville” actor, Sam Jones III, who later went on to prove his heterosexuality, well-endowment (nsfw) and preference for white girls by releasing a Sex Tape. He’s now waiting to serve a year in federal prison for drug charges, but that’s another story.Nevertheless, they both gave convincing performances as brothers dealing with this issue. The story and problem wraps up a little too tidily, but it was still therapeutic for me in many ways. At the end of the day, being Gay is something for others to “be cool with it”, not you.

We’ve compiled all of the relevant scenes here for you to view and discuss.

The dialogue here that hit home the most for me was this:

“I was 30 before I faced up to being Gay, but my life got a lot better once I did.”

The entire video runs about 10-minutes:



If you haven’t seen “E.R.” you definitely should, it’s an excellent series full of great characters, including a several non-stereotypical Gays/Lesbians. It’s available on DVD and through iTunes.