CA Podcast #25 – The Return of Ocky Williams

By Cypher Avenue | Posted Nov 5 2014 | 52 Comments  

CA-podcast25

Brehs, we present to you a new episode of the CYPHER AVENUE PODCAST where you’ll hear us give updates, engage in heated topic debates, interviewing interesting homosexual men of color and us verbally adding on to the articles posted on the website.

The episodes will be available in four ways: You can listen to them on the site, watch on YouTube, download a MP3 version or subscribe to us on iTunes for automatic updates!

In this podcast, Cypher Avenue co-founder Ocky Williams finally returns to the pod after a 2 month absence. Along with Nick Delmacy, they discuss Michael Sam, results from the Cypher Avenue Survey, Gay men who sound gay and they ponder why gays announce being in relationships after only 2 weeks of dating.

MP3 VERSION:

 

 

DOWNLOAD LINK:

CYPHER AVENUE PODCAST #25

 

VIDEO VERSION:
 

 

About the Author
Cypher Avenue

Cypher Avenue is a direct response to the lack of a single website on the Internet catering to gay/bisexual men that love hip hop, pop culture, video games, sci-fi and mature, open minded conversations. Topics ranging from sex, sports, movies, new tech, science, fashion, comic books, politics, working out, hip hop, booze, television, cars, the outdoors, geek stuff, dating, and relationships; you name it, we have it.

   
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52 Comments Feel Free To Join The Cypher.

  1. Ocky Williams | November 5th, 2014
    0

    I HAVE NO WORDS FOR THIS INTRODUCTION…but @nick when I see you imma kick you in your narrow ass OMG LMAO!

    • SB3
      African King | November 5th, 2014
      0

      I share the same sentiment as you bro. I was dying. I was like did he have Ocky’s approval to post that introduction?? I was laughing so hard for that introduction. I cant wait to see what everyone else thinks about it! I am listening to the podcast now.

  2. R.E.W.II | November 5th, 2014
    0

    I’m Dying. I love the 24 intro. That was my show!

    • SB3
      African King | November 5th, 2014
      0

      Lol ok I had no clue where that came from. 24! Ok I got it.

    • Ocky Williams | November 5th, 2014
      0

      Its mostly from the movie “Taken”

      • R.E.W.II | November 5th, 2014
        0

        Yeah after the 24 reference LOL

  3. alton
    NYCforEVER | November 5th, 2014
    0
  4. He who walks behind the rows | November 5th, 2014
    0

    Lmao! This I’m just getting through the intro. Damn @Ocky.

  5. alton
    NYCforEVER | November 5th, 2014
    0

    WTF is “Sis-Gendered” (sp?)? I can’t with all these PC Departmentalizing ass titles that people now find it fashionable to box muhfukaz into. LOL

    • Ocky Williams | November 5th, 2014
      0

      LOL it means being traditional / acting in the ways of your particular gender. Yeah I had to look that shit up.

      • alton
        NYCforEVER | November 5th, 2014
        0

        REALLY??!! Smfh….

        http://giphy.com/gifs/angry-no-jixdQyooRM9cA

        (Sorry for the “gay ass meme”, but I actually like Wendy, my dude. LOL Muhfukaz hate on her and she still does her, just like CA. LOL)

    • Dre G | November 6th, 2014
      0

      You obviously haven’t been staying up to date on South Park,which is where I learned the term. lol

    • Sage
      Sage | November 6th, 2014
      0

      I hear ya NYC. I had to do a bit of research to get up to speed on some of the new lingo. Cis-gender seemed to come out of nowhere, but I guess that it’s here to stay. It was inevitable given that gender identity and expression issues are coming to the table and inching toward the mainstream.

      A good friend of mine transitioned from female to male and it took me a while to wrap my brain around the idea that a lot of transmen keep their vagina. From a practical perspective, I understand them not wanting a substandard and ill-functioning penis. However, my new brothers don’t possess that traditional penis that is so quintessentially male.

      Nowadays I’m pretty immersed and intrigued by trans issues because it reminds me that gender is socially constructed (known that for about 30 years) and it forces me to adjust my perspective on biological sex and genitalia. We know that having a dick does not confirm you as a man if you act like an oversized boy, you are simply male. However, in the case of transmen, does the lack of a penis necessarily disqualify you as a man, particularly if you display masculine traits and have integrity in your masculinity? For the new members of the male tribe, what is required for a full welcome?

    • acessential
      acessential | November 7th, 2014
      0

      Cisgender just means not transgender. Nothing really PC about it. It’s just a term. If you’re not transgender, you’re cisgender. It makes talking about issues easy.

  6. Gabe202 | November 5th, 2014
    +1

    Why not much west coast love? Aren’t very many black people in the West coast, and black population out their is declining overall anyway. Most black gays that are out there are trying to assimilate to white/latino gay culture…and failing somewhat.

    • R.E.W.II | November 6th, 2014
      0

      I’m from the west coast. I’m not gonna vouch for the west coast gay atmosphere because I haven’t been around it. But maybe if you somehow reach out to the west coast in some way, they might respond back.

    • lyriq88
      Lyriq | November 8th, 2014
      0

      Being from the west coast, I have to agree with your statement. LA lacks severely in black culture. We lack even more in black gay culture. The black gays I know here I don’t see them visiting this site. Just seems out of their scope… I feel like I’m being judgy, but I also think I’m being very honest.

      • R.E.W.II | November 8th, 2014
        0

        Naw your not man. I see where your coming from. The white gay atmosphere is more common and more seen than the black gay atmosphere. And some of the black gays that I meet were horrible. One thought I was trying to get with him, another didn’t think i was his type so he didn’t want to speak to me (and I was no near where attracted to him nor was i even trying to get with him). Both dudes that I meet are openly gay, meaning going to parades, clubs, etc. I’m not. So im guessing (for here) the more you get into the gay culture, the more snobbier you may be. IDK lol

        • R.E.W.II | November 8th, 2014
          0

          Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m better than anybody because I have issues too. But from just I experienced thats what I get. But I can easily be proved wrong if it’s not true.

  7. SB3
    African King | November 5th, 2014
    0

    You all should not have to advertise for-profit events at all.

    Overall, I think that whatever you all want to change or modify is up to you all. Try doing one thing at a time maybe and also make sure to take the feedback into consideration. And of course holla at me 😉

  8. Gabe202 | November 6th, 2014
    -3

    Also, seems like Ocky has a thing for Asian men…heard you mention them in a few podcasts now…newsflash, most are highly prejudiced towards blacks, look like 12 year olds, and aren’t that attractive (IMO, their eyes are just a turn off). There’s nothing masculine about most of them. Most carry themselves like geisha twinks.

    • Ocky Williams | November 6th, 2014
      0

      I have gotten very good about not responding to douche-bag trolls; however if you can’t find anything remotely bigoted with your statement then there would be no point in my attempts to point them out. Thanks for visiting.

  9. Dre G | November 6th, 2014
    +3

    LOL I can tell Nick was having fun with that intro.3a2ed16e20b2804b94dfe07ce4a92dfa72edaf461bc63e945d62c8ff06c58c19.jpg

  10. Inda Men | November 6th, 2014
    +5

    I can’t share your content because most of my friends don’t speak english. I’m from Mexico, lol! Anyway you have to stick to your brand, as you say. The main sites I look for “gay things” are yours and Huffington Post and it sometimes put out things that are just not for me. That’s why CA is so cool because it has not the average content for a “gay site” and yet there’s something great about the thought that guys like me writes and create this work. You could be the Men’s Health magazine for gay men! Now I’m an addict to your site and your podcasts. Great job guys!

    • Dre G | November 6th, 2014
      +2

      Totally agree with what you say about them not having “average content” for a gay site. It’s groovy to have a space with like-minded gay men,but it is really cool that we have discussions/articles/stream posts about stuff that’s not always just about being gay,gay sex,dating men,etc.It shows that there is more to the founders and those of us who frequent the site.

      • SB3
        African King | November 6th, 2014
        0

        I completely agree Dre!

      • ControlledXaos | November 6th, 2014
        0

        Agreed.

        I think you have an audience, the original reason for this site, stick to it. If other people come to the site, then great. However, to morph into what everyone else is doing…just don’t. I don’t think you guys would be comfortable doing that anyway.

        To me, it’s like the gay aspect of this site is secondary. It’s there, but we don’t only talk about sex, musky nuts, and etc. I even like how the advertising here is where it’s general audience stuff (other than those Russian and Asian wives lol) as opposed to only being skimpy underwear companies, match making sites, and porn sites. We all know where to get porn when we want it. lol

  11. ControlledXaos | November 6th, 2014
    0

    Young Demographic: With young people, it’s understandable that sex and dating is going to be a main interest for that sector. Sex is still ‘new’ to them in a way. Sex was never a primary focus for me at that age and that time, mid to late 90s. I like sex as much as the next guy, but trying to get some was never priority one. I do think some guys need a little guidance in how to handle sex emotionally. Too many young guys get the sex/love signals crossed.

    Body Image/Perception: I answered as stocky. I refer to myself as “fat” all the time. People tell me I’m buff/built. I probably could have said muscular but I don’t feel that’s me. Though I was expecting average/fit to be the most popular answer. I like sturdy guys built like me but it does seem like guys that fit my range, only want the built, low body fat guys.

    Masculine Things: I’m not a shade thrower but I can be brutally honest and sarcastic if provoked. It won’t come off as shade. It’s just my wit. I don’t know why people are so ready to throw shade. It’s not like playing The Dozens because that feels more light hearted. Shade comes off as just being mean.

    As mentioned, I have always had a hard time finding other gay guys who like what I like. I’ve found more of my interested aligned with geek culture in general. Not saying that there are not gay, masculine geeks who like video games, will watch a sci fi action movie, or get excited about an old cartoon coming out as a complete series on DVD, but that’s the grain of sugar among the salt.

    Press Releases of Relationships: Females love to brag about their husbands or that they are getting married because they know their thirsty female friends are not married. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with it IF you are not doing to make yourself seem better than others. I know I can’t stand seeing chicks posting stuff about “my husband this” and “my husband that” I understand you love him and whatnot but dang bitch, yeen got a life of your own?

    I don’t understand why when as short as most gay male relationships last, why are you blasting it to everyone on social media? If you have been dating for a year, ok. I can see some foundation to your relationship. But you only been ‘dating’ for 6 weeks. If you don’t SYMFAD.

    Just how when women wait 3 months before they announce they are pregnant, gay men need to wait at least a year, all four seasons.

  12. SBthe13,000 | November 6th, 2014
    +1

    I don’t think u guys need to change or ‘improve’ on anything as far as ur delivery and platform. Its u guys’ site so fuk everyone else. If the ‘gurlz’ can go ‘kee kee’ ‘read’ n ‘shade’ each other on every other gay blog, why can’t masculine men have a space? I’m so over this conversation..

  13. Sage
    Sage | November 6th, 2014
    0

    Thanks for providing results from the survey. The lack of West Coast responses doesn’t necessarily mean that guys on the West Coast aren’t listening. It has been my experience that guys over here tend to keep opinions to themselves unless they’re pissed about something. It’s possible that you have a sizable audience on this coast and they’re generally content with the site. Do you guys have any location information for squad members?

  14. Wes | November 6th, 2014
    0

    Great discussion guys!!!

  15. hannibal
    Hannibal | November 7th, 2014
    0

    The taken intro took me out especially when @Nick said hide the porn

    • lyriq88
      Lyriq | November 8th, 2014
      0

      The Taken intro disturbed the hell out of me. That scene always makes me sad man lol. I was listening to the podcast leaving work and it just brought my mood ALL the way down. Thanks guys. THANKS.

  16. ControlledXaos | November 7th, 2014
    0

    Bro, chill out.

  17. Ocky Williams | November 7th, 2014
    0

    After I blocked his personal IP address, troll “Gabe202” goes to the computer lab at Purdue University at Indianapolis to leave the below comment…

    “My point is, black men will be very complimentary of the beauty of other races when other races aren’t checking for you all like that. You think Asian or white or even latino men admire black men’s looks (for the most part)? Or want to even include ya’ll in their circles or beauty standards (for the most part)? No. Most of the time, other races of gay men only want or drool over black men will it’s some sick age old sexual fantasy, totally bypassing the humanity. Asian men aren’t checking for you silly dick-minded niggas…they want white men just like their female counterparts”

    Yes ControlledXaos says in response “Bro chill out” but speaking in the context of black people, it’s odd to me why so many gay men act the same as black women when it pertains to interracial dating. Hell, in this instance it’s not even about dating but simply thinking another race (besides black) is attractive. In this case because Nick and I stated we thought some Asian men were attractive, in this bitter person’s mind it equated to somehow we are not being true or in tune with our blackness or ignoring racism. I’ll always be perplexed as to why so many gay men are so judgmental but yet want so badly to be accepted.

    • alton
      NYCforEVER | November 7th, 2014
      +1

      Sounds like Gabe has been rejected by QUITE a few Asian and White men, himself. That type of bitterness is rarely innate. LOL

      • ControlledXaos | November 7th, 2014
        +1

        How I feel bout the sitiation

    • ControlledXaos | November 7th, 2014
      0

      I was gonna say something similar to that in addition to “Bro, chill” but I was thinking: people like that are set in their ways.

      Some people keep saying they want equal treatment but it goes both ways. You can’t be prejudiced and then expect others not to be towards you in return.

  18. alton
    NYCforEVER | November 7th, 2014
    0

  19. iHeartCherryCocaine . | November 7th, 2014
    0

    i would never share the website simply because the majority of the few out people i know would be really offended honestly

    • Ocky Williams | November 8th, 2014
      0

      Curious, what would they be offended by?

      • iHeartCherryCocaine . | November 8th, 2014
        0

        some of the content would make them feel attacked.

        • SB3
          African King | November 8th, 2014
          0

          which of the content specifically?

        • Ocky Williams | November 8th, 2014
          0

          I get it…its the tone and perception. But why don’t you feel attacked or offended?

  20. iHeartCherryCocaine . | November 11th, 2014
    0

    well id agree a lot of it has to do with the tone @afrkican king more specifically in the podcasts ( which i think is the highlight of the site along with the in depth articles on current events)

    with the one recommendation i’ve made to someone i repeatedly gave them a disclaimer as this site isn’t everyone’s cup of tea which isnt a bad thing at all.i think its what set the site apart from the few that are out there.however one thing i’ve always wondered and coincidentally was pointed out to me by the person i recommended it to is in the podcast ocky and nick will reinforce that there isn’t anything wrong with feminine guys but then a few minutes later in the same podcast mock feminine or “soft” men and then say that if anyone is offended by it than their being to sensitive ( the one person i recommended it to told me this and i initially thought the same thing but i thought i was just being too sensitive about the subject )

    i know i shouldn’t be offended right away just because i’ve been following the site since the discrete city days so i know the intent of offending other in between men and feminine men isn’t the intent.i dont think its a huge deal when it comes to the articles but from the one person i shared the podcasts with i was told that the push about “there’s nothing wrong with feminine guys just” sounds like a politically correct thing to say.i didn’t want to debate with him for he was someone completely new to the site and not familiar with how things worked plus it was his interpretation of the site so i left it alone

    i feel like when your “”soft” your playing both fields and its either your not masculine enough to be accepted by masculine identifying men and not flamboyant enough for feminine men.so even if i was to go and get mad ( which i wasnt cause i think its just harmless fun ) where the hell would i go.there is only so much sites that tries to include themes for all types of guys in the gay community.

    • hannibal
      Hannibal | November 11th, 2014
      0

      Im selective about sharing. Im aware the majority of my social circle doesnt like the site so i only share things that are for more or less general interest




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