Advice Columnist and Social Media personality Xem VanAdams joins five other black gay men in this (well produced) 30-minute panel discussion on “Love, Dating and Relationships Between Men.”
Interesting conversation that covers familiar territory: Black Gay Men and their odd obsession with Relationships.
If Aliens were to visit the Earth and watch our Films, Web Series and YouTube Blogs, they would think that black gays were only interested in sex and getting a boyfriend.
One would think that ALL gay men yearn to be in relationships. We rarely hear the point of view of the happily single man who is more interested in science, politics, technology, etc.
Based on our media, if Neil Degrasse Tyson were gay, he’d be on Xem’s panel talking about being cheated on by his boyfriend instead of giving educational and humorous interviews about the Cosmos.
This isn’t a slight on this panel discussion or the men involved…just an observation on the black gay community in general. The only criticism I had with this video is that host Xem VanAdams often takes a little too long to finally get to around to the question he wants to ask. He takes the “question-asking scenic route” when a quicker shortcut would make the conversation flow much better.
What are your thoughts? Watch and share your them in the comments section below!
Press Release Synopsis:
The themes of love, dating and relationships between men of the LGBT community frame this 30- minute, real life video segment. Over the past three years, out writer, speaker, advice columnist and online personality, Xem VanAdams has spent countless hours throughout each day engaged in a series of group text message and screen-cap exchanges with his two good friends, NATE and DUANTE. On Saturday, July 11, 2015, the trio invited three other guys to join them in Washington, DC for a roundtable discussion that would bring to life their iPhone group chat conversations. MATTHEW, BRANDON and CHRISTOPHER were added as round table contributors to the candid conversation. The video release offers a balance in the images, ideas and experiences that comprise the spectrum of the modern day gay male.
With the unprecedented success of FOX’s latest musical-drama, Empire, it’s no secret that the character of Jamal Lyon has especially resonated with cross-cultural audiences. Jamal’s passion, talent, confidence and external strength appeal to not only the gay male, but also to the special women in our lives who support and champion our journey. Behind closed doors, if Jamal were to be sitting with his close, same gender loving friends, this video visually peers into how the group conversation may look and possibly sound. “Love, Dating & Relationships Between Men: The iPhone Group Chat Live (Washington, DC)” invites viewers to witness and embrace some of the backstory that creates our personal lives as open, gay men living in a major, American city. Filmed by Joshua Cristos and his Malak Media team, this group of guys engages on film in a 30-minute conversation that successfully addresses the relationship dynamics that frame their individual lives, which then ultimately ties them all together.
Why do men cheat? l never understood the mindset of a cheater..I guess because l stand firmly on the morals and principles of respect and loyalty. If you feel the need to cheat, then you shouldn’t be in a relationship or married for that matter.
I almost forgot out Mr. Adams. I use to watch his videos when I was a young impressionable lad trying to figure myself out. He use to scare me about the black gay dating life…it looks as if he work has evolved into much more manageable advice giving and more mature reasoning.
I’m glad you guys mentioned this on CA. I saw it the other night and was impressed with the production. I’ve always liked Xem. Out of all the SGL youtubers, he’s one of the few not giving Housewives updates.
My only criticism which I thought of immediately when he announced the video was, it’s about gay men and relationships? Wow ground breaking. It was still cool to watch. I hope he offers more content in this well done format besides getting a man etc.
Also it was be really interesting to see the perspective of men who have lived and learned a bit more in life. I’ve seen these discussions from younger guys who quite frankly should have their focus on education, career, and self fulfillment. To be fair, Xem has written about those items as well. Still, It would be nice to see it discussed at a round table.
Agreed.
I’m with the guy in the relationship; it seems like no one wants to actually give their all in a relationship, for whatever reason. Maybe they’re scared, maybe they were hurt before… But if people are only half-stepping their way through these things, it’s no wonder these relationships fail. I also agree that you should start off giving a hundred percent. It may not work out but I have always taken pride in knowing it wasn’t because I didn’t put in the effort.
As for cheating, I don’t think most people are looking to cheat when they enter a relationship, but overtime things may get stale or you have problems and suddenly there’s someone else not bringing the stress and offering respite from it. I don’t cheat, but I would imagine that’s where the mind goes.
I find that a lot of men are in love with the idea of being in a relationship. Most aren’t willing to dedicate the time, commitment, and compromise that’s required to build and maintain one. They approach it as if it’s an interchangeable accessory that will complete the look that they’re going for. Additionally, successful relationships can require some very tough sacrifices, which include but are not limited to; single friends and social media.
This was aight. Production quality was good. I saw his other vid My Boyfriend Is The Bait with the one dude from DC here and his boyfriend. I was just hoping for a more balanced roundtable. I like to see myself represented in some form within these types of dialogues. But it seems the age range here hovered in the mid 20s.
There is definitely some overlap in the concerns of dudes in all age ranges who date other dudes. But there are so many things that we don’t even consider when we’re 25 because they don’t dawn on us until we’re approaching the end of our 20s or 30s. And so on. It would be interesting to see a roundtable with a mixed group of older and younger dudes. It’s entirely possible that there’s more in store in this series. Guess I gotta take a wait & see approach.