After the negative test results were made public concerning a patient at New York Hospital feared to have Ebola, the Mainstream Media is up in arms.
Local reporter Terry Fied of HLNO news station 46 stated, “It saddened me to learn that the patient we believed to have Ebola has tested negative for the virus. I was hoping to add the footage of me covering the positive test results to my reel. I felt my reel footage could have easily landed me a job at HLN or CNN as a correspondent”.
The patient in New York Hospital was recently admitted after displaying symptoms that some feared were related to Ebola. Once infected, the Ebola virus causes fever, nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. Once the liver and kidneys are impacted, bleeding from the bodies orifices occurs.
Local reporters were not the only ones saddened by this positive news. A producer at one of the large cable news networks who spoke to Cypher Avenue on conditions of anonymity stated, “Dammit we were banking on this crisis! Cable news needs trifecta crisis stories. You always need three. We have Gaza and Russia but we needed something close to home so the American people could really feel the news. That way there’s more of a connection. The boarder crisis is fizzling and we don’t care about Ebola in Africa, they already got AIDS. Dammit we needed a new West Nile Virus here in the states! Something sexy like Ebola…it just rolls off the tongue”.
When we inquired with him about perhaps the cable news networks recapping the successful recent U.S. – Africa Leaders Summit that just wrapped up in our nation’s capital of DC, where the U.S. hosted a coalition of nearly 50 African heads of state to discuss economic growth and reshaping Africa’s image; the producer replied, “Right now the networks are forming a coalition to get this selfish bastard in New York retested. What does this U.S. Africa Summit have to do with ratings?”
Stay tuned to Cypher Avenue News (CAN) for continued coverage.
Damn are you for real @ocky? that is so crazy. But as the saying goes for mainstream news: “if it bleeds, it reads.” Stories about violence especially always make headlines on local news. On a national level when stories are related to crises in America, that gets so much coverage. The reason why it is like that is because cable is all about RATINGS.
I have a feeling my attempts at satire are going to far.
I had no clue that this was comedy or satire until I saw after my comment was posted that this post was tagged as comedy and satire. Lol well you got me bro.
I haven’t trusted Ocky”s news since the tony and Dave article.You should know better.
I took this very seriously. I mean it’s not a surprise producers think this way, but was kind of shocked they would come out and be so honest about it.
This was a powerful, smart post and of course it reads as satire from the very beginning. Thanks yo
More not less critical thinking & effective statements /show not tell commentary!
Dear Ocky,
What the Hell
-Dre
Please tell me this is a parody.
Please?
Lol. While this maybe satire. Its rooted in a truth concerning the state of news in the US. Driven by ratings rather than the spirit of journalism.
That’s the thing, which it smacks of satire, it’s just potentially real enough that it could be true. I’ve seen worse than this in some legit articles. Almost an example of Poe’s law.