Brehs, we present to you a new episode of the CYPHER AVENUE PODCAST where you’ll hear us give updates, engage in heated topic debates, interviewing interesting homosexual men of color and us verbally adding on to the articles posted on the website. The episodes will be available in four ways: You can listen to them on the site, watch on YouTube, download a MP3 version or subscribe to us on iTunes or YouTube for automatic updates!
In this podcast, Cypher Avenue editor Octavius Williams is interviewed by Ranier, founder of the popular blog “Love Life of an Asian Guy.” They discuss the difficulty of dating through apps and social media when overt racism is present.
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What a great way to get my morning started. I Checked this podcast out while doing my cardio. Big props to Octavius for how he handled himself during this interview and for how he handled the subject matter.
But honestly, it is subject matter that bothers me. I feel that everyone has an empirical right to date who, whoever, or what ever they choose to date. That to me is a strong conviction and I will fight for it. It is a preference. There is nothing that mandates that I must date a particular person and all that makes up that person. No one should settle! and No one should have to deal with constantly saying I am not interested to anyone or have their device beep with notifications of someone who is not who they are seeking. I could care less about what someone puts on a dating app or an online website is indication of their preference. It is their life. And I want everyone to be happy. A part of being happy is being with someone that makes you happy. For some people that means a thug, someone very effeminate, someone who is white, Or someone who speaks with an accent. It can even mean someone who has more or less school then you. You get where I'm going? There are endless possibilities here. No one should settle just because.
So if you don't want a white person, a fat person, a Jewish person, someone who doesn't smoke. Someone who smokes 420, what ever… IT is your business and you are entitled and that choice. It shouldn't be anyone's business or offend anyone. It just should not. As humans we need to stop infringing on peoples rights to choose. In fact, I'd rather know upfront, That way I'm not wasting my precious keystrokes to say "sup" LOL
Excellent Commentary. I tend to agree with you Ocky in that I don't understand why this issue is so relevant. I personally think its good that people display the kind of persons they are in their profile. I am also glad that you raised the point of policing language. I feel like we are slowing but surely becoming a society that wants to police everything and clean it up in the weird PC culture. I hate that because in many ways it stifles us as a culture. We are becoming too sensitive and that goes for all people, white, black, gay, straight, whatever. With respect to dating, people should be free do to what they want and date who they want and live the life they want. That is a fundamental point of personal liberty.
Good podcast. Good ending.
When it comes to the 'nasty' stuff and the way in which someone states a preference, I just never have understood(and it of course happened way back in the day before the internet when you had newspaper personals) why people are not at least civil and use non offensive language. I mean if you just say 'I prefer to date within my race' you at least have people wondering if you are an a@@hole or not. If you put NO BLACKS!/WHITES/FATTIES/QUEENS etc. you remove all doubt that you are an a@@hole. Why do people not care that they look like a@@holes? Are they that self-unaware?
Seeing that sh@t makes me just hate people, even though It is just the internet and all. Because it makes me think that is the real them I guess?
But it is true, there are much more important things than a@@holes on the internet.
Hey Ocky,
I enjoyed the podcast, the guest you had was interesting and I think that it's great how open he was to asking you different questions and having a genuine interest in understanding different perspectives. I will be honest. At first I did not agree with your stance on racism in the dating sites and thought it was too limiting to specific groups that have a problem with bigots online. However, as the interview or conversation went on..and he asked you some of the same question and brought up some of the same points I would've said I was thoroughly satisfied with your view and explanation of how you considered things in context to other racial issues. I do still see nothing wrong with voicing your disapproval of hateful speech as I also understand where others come from in-regard to it being offensive or degrading, but the amount of effort used in expressing this should scale appropriately in comparison to all of the many hurtful things can and will say to you on the internet.
I will be listening to this today and will be giving my feedback!
Because {most of} the people that use that type of language are good looking enough that nobody will give a f#k one way or the other. At least, the ones only looking for a hook up really don't care, they're just satisfied that they fit the a$$holes' minimum qualification of not being one of their listed "undesired".
I hate it when people are that shallow and just let people get away with s@it because they are 'good looking'. I think this (and other bullsh@t) is getting worse and why I have become increasingly a damn loner. I don't even trust anyone anymore except maybe 3 family members and that is it.
Here is an issue from FS Magazine in regards to racism on the gay scene and it covers sexual preferences. You maybe able to access the PDF version.
FS Magazine | Pages | FS148
I think I am listening to this podcast for the second time. When you discuss the gay dating(sex) websites or apps, it makes me wonder if that has been my biggest downfall in trying to find a mate. Since high school (2002/2003) I have been involved in these modems of online connection. I have only met ONE guy that I can think of that I approached or approached me that I got to know and we went on a date. It was after the gay club let out and we were both slightly to heavily intoxicated so the "liquid courage" was helpful especially to me.
I wonder if I need to get off these apps and websites for a while to try and meet some guys, I just don't know where I can meet them anymore. I go to the bar and the club every blue moon but I don't make a move there, so maybe that is what I need to do more of.
This was one of the best podcasts yet. I like the focus on a single topic carried throughout an extended discussion. Ranier's questions were good. Your responses really opened up the discussion, moved it along sometimes in unexpected directions. You opened up much more about how you arrive at your positions. I recommended this one to a number of friends.
Just a thought, but it would be interesting to connect with more creators of social media that interest you and let us in on the dialogue.