The following is a major violation of Man Law. Not only am I about to reveal the secret lies that deceitful gay and bisexual men tell each other, I’m also going to translate what they actually mean. This will ruin things for a lot of men out there. They will no longer be able to use these lines in our attempts to deceive unsuspecting thirsty homosexuals too caught up in lust to realize the obvious. Lehgo!See the full list of Classic Lies
LIE:
“My Phone Had Died.”
TRANSLATION:
“I didn’t feel like talking to you so I screened your calls/texts.”
“My Phone Had Died.”
TRANSLATION:
“I didn’t feel like talking to you so I screened your calls/texts.”
LIE:
“My phone charges better when it’s turned off.”
“My phone charges better when it’s turned off.”
TRANSLATION:
“I can’t talk to you at home in front of my boyfriend.”
“I can’t talk to you at home in front of my boyfriend.”
LIE:
“Yeah, I’m masculine.”
“Yeah, I’m masculine.”
TRANSLATION:
“I’m the most masculine person amongst my ultra fem-queen friends.
So technically I’m masculine….ish.”
“I’m the most masculine person amongst my ultra fem-queen friends.
So technically I’m masculine….ish.”
LIE:
“There wasn’t any signal where I was. Didn’t even see that you called me.”
“There wasn’t any signal where I was. Didn’t even see that you called me.”
TRANSLATION:
“Even though this is laughable when it happens in horror movies,
you will believe it not realizing that I was actually with another guy.”
“Even though this is laughable when it happens in horror movies,
you will believe it not realizing that I was actually with another guy.”
LIE:
“I fell asleep.”
“I fell asleep.”
TRANSLATION:
“I was deliberately screening and avoiding your calls/texts
but you will still believe I was asleep in the middle of the day.”
LIE:
“Sup stranger, miss you…”
“Sup stranger, miss you…”
TRANSLATION:
“The dude I was talking to is a wrap so now I’m digging in my phone
for old scraps to fill time until he gets back with me.”
“The dude I was talking to is a wrap so now I’m digging in my phone
for old scraps to fill time until he gets back with me.”
LIE:
“Something came up, my fault, can’t meet up tonight.”
“Something came up, my fault, can’t meet up tonight.”
TRANSLATION:
“The dude I really want FINALLY hit me up tonight to hang out!”
“The dude I really want FINALLY hit me up tonight to hang out!”
LIE:
“Oh him? We’re just friends.”
“Oh him? We’re just friends.”
TRANSLATION:
“He’s my recent Ex that I used to fuck (maybe occasionally still do).”
“He’s my recent Ex that I used to fuck (maybe occasionally still do).”
LIE:
“Sorry, I was working late.”
“Sorry, I was working late.”
TRANSLATION:
“I was with another guy all night and we had amazing oral sex.”
“I was with another guy all night and we had amazing oral sex.”
LIE:
“I’m versatile, but I’ll only bottom for right dude.”
“I’m versatile, but I’ll only bottom for right dude.”
TRANSLATION:
“I’m a bottom.”
“I’m a bottom.”
LIE:
“I’ve never done that with anyone but you.”
“I’ve never done that with anyone but you.”
TRANSLATION:
“I want you to think I’m kinda innocent but actually I’m a recovering whore.”
“I want you to think I’m kinda innocent but actually I’m a recovering whore.”
LIE:
“My boyfriend? We JUST broke up.”
“My boyfriend? We JUST broke up.”
TRANSLATION:
“We’re still together on and off again but I want you to THINK we broke up.”
“We’re still together on and off again but I want you to THINK we broke up.”
LIE:
“My apartment doesn’t get good reception so only text me, don’t call.”
“My apartment doesn’t get good reception so only text me, don’t call.”
TRANSLATION:
“I can’t talk to you at home in front of my boyfriend.”
“I can’t talk to you at home in front of my boyfriend.”
LIE:
“I’m only looking for ‘Friends First’ and we’ll take it from there.”
“I’m only looking for ‘Friends First’ and we’ll take it from there.”
TRANSLATION:
“I want to string you along for awhile in case a better option comes along.”
“I want to string you along for awhile in case a better option comes along.”
LIE:
“My ‘best friend’ is coming in from outta town this weekend. Gotta entertain him.”
“My ‘best friend’ is coming in from outta town this weekend. Gotta entertain him.”
TRANSLATION:
“This other dude I’ve been chatting with online is coming in from
outta town this weekend. Gotta hook-up with him.”
“This other dude I’ve been chatting with online is coming in from
outta town this weekend. Gotta hook-up with him.”
LIE:
“Sorry, I been really busy, yo.”
“Sorry, I been really busy, yo.”
TRANSLATION:
“I made the time to do a whole lot of other things BESIDES link up with you.”
“I made the time to do a whole lot of other things BESIDES link up with you.”
LIE:
“Oh, I decided at the last minute to go out.”
“Oh, I decided at the last minute to go out.”
TRANSLATION:
“I told you I was busy/sick but really I had already made other plans.”
“I told you I was busy/sick but really I had already made other plans.”
LIE:
“I love you so much that dinner and drinks are on me tonight.”
“I love you so much that dinner and drinks are on me tonight.”
TRANSLATION:
“I fucked a coworker during lunch today.”
“I fucked a coworker during lunch today.”
– Nick D
LIE:
“My ‘best friend’ is coming in from outta town this weekend. Gotta entertain him.”
TRANSLATION:
“This other dude I’ve been chatting with online is coming in from
outta town this weekend. Gotta hook-up with him.”
— PRICELESS!!
I’ve never heard any of these lies. How shameful to the men that can not tell the truth and stop lying. Then they want to be treated as a MAN and regarded as an ADULT….. ugh.
lol a couple of these things actually happen to me and it is the truth. I fall asleep at random times and my phone does occasionally die. also my apartment doesn’t get good reception
wowwwwwwwwwww
Lie: I’ll text you back in a sec..
Reality: I’ll get back with ya when I want to get with ya /or my boyfriend-wife is outta town..
My answer: Lose my number, playboy!
Great article. A whole lotta laughs as a group of us read it..
I dont agree with some of these things..taking dick comes with this life style so why put a stigma on a verse top dude like myself… i cant agree with me being a bottom because i usually hate it but want it at times..thats no lie
PRICELESS!!! LOL…
LIE : “I love you so much that dinner and drinks are on me tonight.”
Translation : “I fucked a coworker during lunch today.”
LMBO Man thats crazy lol ….. I am late on this post but this was a trip man LMAO!!!