Dating is a reoccurring theme here on Cypher Avenue. Where to find a man, how to get a man, how to keep a man, how to date a man, what type of man do I let climb up on my back, I’ve found a man is he relationship material, etc.
Notable the most frequent and most important of these questions is easily; how do I find a man of substance and quality?
Admittedly I’ve been in a relationship for over 6 years, which is longer than a lot of relationships and almost an eternity within the homo/bisexual community. In my pre-relationship days I communicated and met men via the internet with sites like BGC, Adam for Adam and Men4Now. Depending on who you ask, these sites along with apps like Grindr or Jack’d are only used for “hook ups.” Well, yes and no…I kinda feel they’re what you make it.
Even though I haven’t used a GSP based apps for meeting dudes and only used online sites, I still came across a couple of really cool people (who I may or may not of hooked up with) and established lasting friendships. I completely understand that when you’re searching for something more meaningful than a “hook up” using these sites and apps can be very frustrating, but be honest; if you aren’t new or “green” to dating, you have to know that already right?
I think it’s safe to say even with all the strides the LGBT movements have made over the years, many men still do their searching using technology more so than face to face interactions. Maybe we should broaden our technological nets in hopes of capturing more fish than those swimming in the standard go-to pools?
I accidentally came across the below sites by clicking on the “sponsored links” when reading a non-related story. Granted I personally haven’t signed up for any but I did read many of the reviews and understand how they came up with their rankings.
Me thinking about you, I decided to post them here so you can potentially add them to your dating search arsenals. They’re reposted from Top Ten Websites’ gay section. Links to each website are below.
Also try out Black People Meet . BPM has a daily matching system to help save time while browsing.
Good Luck and Happy Searching!
wow…interesting selections
wow…interesting selections
interesting list… many of these i did not know were considered websites that catered to gay men finding love or other proclivities. Thanks for sharing…
It sign up for free on BPM then when I completed the whole process it asks for payment lol. When I start making money, I will consider paying for dating sites.
Good point…did you or have you tried the other sites previously?
I have tried Okcupid.com and have actually made a couple of cool friends. It seems like the non-intrusive, millenial-oriented version of match.com
My annoying (but still love ya) sister made me a zoosk account the day I came out to her, it looked cheap. I guess it's time to reactivate? :dead1:
Im just mad that sr folks meetin up is on the list for the gays. I guess, who knows
Now you know our mamas, aunties and uncles are on there,, what you tryna start?
I have only tried Jack'd, recently Tinder and then OkCupid a long time ago. Jack'd is the only app where I have met one Nigerian guy for dating back in Houston. We had 3 dates and that was a good experience but that ended since I moved out here for graduate school.
Then for OkCupid, I met a Haitian dude who was also on Cypher Avenue and we are cool now. I have ZERO luck on Tinder out here in Florida. I just don't think South Florida which is mostly Latino then some White don't mess with black men like that.
I didn't know a lot of these had gay components. Also, while I'm not certain, a lot of these look real…white. I feel like these could possibly cater to white gays and those who seek them almost exclusively.
I am not familiar with a few of them but Match.com is catered toward white men. I am currently on that site and will be deleting once the time is up. Zoosk is pretty cool though. It has a better diverse mix of men than that other one.
Outside of BGC, M4N, A4A, Grndr, Jackd, is there any other websites/apps that black men heavily visit or are exclusively for black men?
I have no Idea. I've never even been on the first 3. The only sites/apps I use are Grindr, Jack'd and Tinder. Tinder is the only one I've gotten meaningful dates and friendships from.
I did Jackd back in college. Met a few dudes off there. I deleted Grindr after 20 minutes. Didn't like it at all. I used OKcupid here and there. No meaningful luck. Honestly, I've given up on dating for now. It's exhausting. It's like a full time job.
LOL yeah the apps are draining @acessential. Too bad dating is so complicated for gays. I think it is better to find places where there are more gays and meet people in person.
When I was in ATL last time I saw you guys, I got so many matches on Tinder. Same thing back in Houston. Dudes out in South Florida just don't mess with black guys too much I think. The only thing is annoying is when I match people, then I take the initiative to message them and they don't hit me back.
I just gotta exhaust all avenues to meet more (black) gays in person I think. The online and app thing just sucks a lot of the time..at least in my case.
Btw, def didnt mean to come off as if seniors dont need love too. I was just implying that since we dont have much of a senior presence, it kinda stuck out and was unexpected, at least for me.
Yea, theres a site called hemeetshim.com catered to black men. Its a paysite tho, but cheap if I remember correctly. Not very known. I tried it a cpl years ago..along w match, zoosk, cupid, _____. Lol.
Crazy thing is, I had a date the other night, (online dude) that I really didnt wana go on, but felt bad cus dude was persistent n id alrdy rescheduled on him.
My biggest frustration w guys online is the lack of follow thru/move forward. The whole kid in a candy store thing keeps mofos hunting for red flags instead of about how it might actually be ok to grab a drink/grub w sum1, instead of continuous online quizzing.
I was just disappointed, as always. Im an avid supporter of the legitimacy and potential of online dating, having 2 (str8) friends who found their spouses online, but a lot of times, ppl just arent presenting their real selves, just like on jackd.
Is badoo popular among gay people?
Never heard of it
Exactly. Online dating is misleading cuz I feel like everyone sees the wide selection available and automatically start looking for the 11 out of 10 guy. It's better to interact with someone in person because you can read each other's body language and see how you click in real time as opposed to photoshopped pictures and text on a page.
YEAH A friend out here that I know spoke about this with me. You meet people's representatives and not the real person
I would figure Okcupid would be on the list. It would also be interesting to see the top online dating sites for black people/queer poc.
I wish I could do a reply to all…
All these comments and feed back gives me some really good ideas. I'm gonna have to do a follow up or Part 2 to this post soon. I feel like the list from that website is kinda misleading or should I say…white leaning. Hell, I didn't know no better.
rocks
Keep the feedback ah'coming…
I decided to give up on dating sites last week and now you come out with this Ocky?? lol I haven't heard of some of these but I'm skeptical about them being any different from the others..What SB3 said about follow through is correct it makes it hard to form a relationship but honestly it can be intimidating sometimes. I know this one guy I had really great and interesting conversations with asked me a few times to come over his house (he lives literally down the street) but I felt uncomfortable doing that so I suggested we meet at a more neutral public place, see a movie or something and his response was always "But I'm Broke lol"……eventually he just stop texting me back.
I wish someone could make an online dating service that also consisted of a physical location that people who match online could meet, have lunch or whatever, have some kind of events that help people break the ice. Heh, that would be nice.
The are a few startups working on it, but most of them are doing city by city. Right now, they are mostly focusing on San Fransisco, which doesn't help the black(gay) man
Maybe next time instead of trying to see a movie or do dinner, meet somewhere like the mall or a park. Also that dude may have been someone who is not mobile (public transportation user) so money for food and even for travel can really empty out his wallet.
Are you sure he was interested in more than a hookup? Did he only want to hang if he knew you were going to get down to business? I would think he's up for more if he's having extended conversations with you, but he could have met you at a park or even just had a conversation outside in your neighborhood, no money required.
That's another thing I honestly couldn't tell…he said he didn't sleep with anyone outside of a relationship so I assumed that wasn't his intention until he kept asking me over. (He also sent nude pics) and saying things like "I just want to cuddle" and "Parts of me might get excited" so that's when I didn't know what to think.
Your right, he didn't have a car, neither do I right now, but a bus trip wouldn't have been too out of the question I feel and I was willing to pay for everything since I suggested it. We did come up with the idea of just taking a walk but that never went anywhere. (Didn't contact me back) I wouldn't have minded that though.
Well you know better for next time. It's all good. He is not the last man on earth.
Yeah that's true.
…you're exactly right.
OkCupid is the only dating website that I was truly active in. And while I did like it and had some successes with it, it didn't help me out AT ALL when it came to meeting and dating other Black men. In actuality, it chipped away at my self-confidence a little bit. I would actively seek out and message other Black men but I rarely got a reply. In fact, the only ones that did reply directly replied that they exclusively date white men.
But overall, OkCupid was the dating site/app that I liked the most and had the most success with. I've tried Match (tons of white guys) and Jack'd (which wasn't for me) but they both fell drastically short of what I hoped the outcome would be.
Zoosk isn't to bad. But, yes I stepped back from all of it. Just chill.
That's it, I'm downloading Jack'd this weekend.
But no really, I'm gonna see what it's giving. I hope I don't see any homothugs from my block on there or worse the nosy gays that might clock you. I've already read up on how to deactivate your account and everything. I'm set and ready to take this risk. We out!
I know a lot of dudes who make sure that the very first thing they do is go through the entire list and immediately block everyone they recognize and want nothing to do with. I may or may not have done this before too.
I agree. South Florida is a wasteland if you are a gay masculine black dude who has his shyt together.
….I hate you for this picture
I'm so glad that this thread was created. I have wondered this myself. I've taken a break from the A4A & Jack'd life because, as plenty of you said, it was just DRAINING! However, I am thinking about getting back on and seeing if anything has changed…(which I'm SURE it hasn't). My biggest problem was the dudes that were on there. IDK what it is about dudes in Dallas, but they hardly EVER say shyt and if they do, it's all about sex and they are very seldom mobile.
I sometimes find that we have a tendency to lower our standards. Is there any validity to gay men lowering their standards when it comes to hookups? Would you be OK with having sexual encounters with individuals who you would never consider if you met them in a regular social setting. When you can discretely invite someone into your home (or their home), do your business and go on about your way, is it easier to lower your standards for physical appearance, age, etc., when you don't have to worry about being seen with this person? Is this "ordering in" becoming common place? If so, what does that say about us or does it say anything at all? Is this pattern of behavior habit forming? Does indiscriminate hookups stunt our ability to seek out and form mutually satisfying relationships without relying on this behavior as a backup?
I have Jack'd and it is exhausting…there are tons of dudes though…I date Latinos(though none are really here in LA) but Jack'd is def more catered to the Black & Latino community in my opinion.
The apps are what you make them. Some use them for hookups & a few for friend/relationship searching. Grindr is dumb.
I said I was gonna download weeks ago but I finally downloaded Jack'd and the shyt looks wack. But then again I don't know what I'm really looking to get out of it.
I already saw some dudes I knew, but knew they were gay already. I'm not putting anything up yet though, my default is Asian male, no profile pic lol.
Awesome List for gay men. It’s awesome the amount of gay dating sites that have emerged in the past ten years online. Great post keep it up
Thanks will save your sites, before I used click for more info