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While in my employer’s large lounge area, I had the displeasure of my casual tablet web surfing down time being disrupted by two trendy gay guys and a hag. Their animated conversation began with how “these ni@@as aint shit” and are “lame as fuk”. One gay dude began to loudly fill the other two in on a recent date by stating, “…girl let me tell yall about this lame ass ni@@a I had a date with this the other night.” Hmm, I was assuming that we were supposed to be in a professional environment where one should be aware of their surroundings and monitor their language but ok.
Before I could find my head phones in my backpack next to me I over heard him say, “girl he had the nerve to come pick me up in a Prius!? How you a grown ass man and you driving a lil-bitty-ole Prius? Bitch you need to have you a grown man car if you coming to my spot.”
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Then they all began to cackle at his statement…and here I thought only Texans and West Virginians hated Priuses?
I put my headphones on, waited another minute and removed myself from their aura of fuckeries. My exit didn’t stop me from trying to understand their sentiments.
I mean I know it’s a gender stereotype that women desire men with fancy cars due to its representation that they’re successful and therefore could be good providers. I also know gay culture stereotypes are grounded in femininity and mirror heterosexual women. Regardless, our country has survived a recession and many people are living check to check, how is what a man drive even relevant? Also how is a Prius “not a grown man’s” car? I thought gay liberals loved Priuses…maybe it’s a culturally thing…meaning white gays can see a Prius as a “grown man’s” car? Maybe in Black (GAY) culture if one is to have an echo-friendly electric car it must be a Tesla?
Personally, I’ve never gave a damn – while single or in a relationship – what car the other man was driving. For me I’ve always associated this as a feminine or materialistic trait that had nothing to do with the quality of the man. Just like me, he had a car he could afford or was comfortable with.
I know we’re currently in (and will be for the foreseeable future) a world society that is steeped in materialism and greed. Nonetheless, when it comes to LGBTQ (liberal) culture; how are we in a place where we’re accepting of men being secure and empowered enough to wear dresses but not accepting of a man being secure enough with his masculinity to drive a Prius?
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**Note: According to Latin experts, the plural form of Prius is Priuses and not Prii. **
I first heard about, what is now called Car Shaming in college. I over heard this black girl say "Girl, he had a Grand AM. That's a girl's car!" This was in the late 1990s. I never thought about cars being associated with gender before but there I was driving my mom's 1987 Pontiac Grand AM coupe. I was rolling at least. Oh and BTW I was not the subject. It was someone else they were talking about.
However I do think some cars end up being characterized as more feminine than others… Mini Cooper S, Fiat 500, the Buick Cascada, Toyota Solara, Mercedes C Class, Mercedes GLC.
I am like this, most women don't know jack about cars and the same for fem gay men. Most of the time, not all. They are just usually not car enthusiasts. They just know brands. Had he been in a Corolla or Camry it probably would have been the same reaction. That guy is probably saving a lot of money on gas which can be used for other things.
I don't care what someone drives. I have a 20 year old truck and a 3 year old PHEV sedan. I just hope he's in a clean, reliable, safe ride.
I wonder if he had been taken to his house and he had a nice 200k spot if this would have even been conversation?
IDGAF what a man drives. I don't even care if he doesn't have a car. Lyft and Uber exist these days. I like men. I like sexy men. I like confident men with intellect.
Also, what does having a car have to do with him being a provider? Many of these dudes have cars and are still full of shit. Your coworkers for example might have decent cars the way they talk about quality and car life but then again…Look at the way they talk. Doesn't say much about their characters based on what they drive. Still immature and talking about folks like they are jr. high.
I usually don't care about what a man has (unless it's something contagious…lol).
Gay men are notorious for living beyond they means and are stunt queens. Lol.
I wonder how the gays in places like New York, Cali, and ATL really act when it comes to stuff?
When I was picking my vacation spot, ATL was not on the list…Take me to the beach so I can wear beach drawls
I have a long history of a junker/classic old car ownership. There was the $1,200 Volkswagen, my $500 dollar Volvo, $1,500 Mazda rotary. That Volvo was a beast and was one of the best cars i ever owned. Insurance was cheap an no car note was heaven something I can't say about my current chariot. Its weird because I would take off cross country on the drop of a dime in those old junkers without a thought and…no cell phones..man that was a different world. But no to me, cars are a device to get from A to B not a measure of anyone worth social, financial or otherwise.
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thane said:
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Wish more people thought like you but here we are, America. The average new car payment in the US is almost $600 / month!!
https://www.experian.com/content/dam/marketing/na/automotive/quarterly-webinars/q2-2018-state-auto-finance-markets.pdf
TLDR: Americans are buying shit they can’t afford to Keep Up With The Joneses. As a general personal finance rule, if a consumer can’t pay off a car in 36 months, they don’t need to be financing it. Reminds me of one my favorite records from my parents high school collection of 45s: “When I pass by the people all laugh / Because they know I ain’t got much gas / But I don’t care what the people might say / I AINT GOT NO NOTE TO PAY!”
I gave my car to a relative when I moved to Chicago for my current gig, having lived here before and not wanting to play the “driving around for a half-hour to find a street parking spot three blocks from home” game. I didn’t date anyone who judged my financial decision to not be one of the millions of negroes and crackers riding around in a Ford F-150 or Lexus SUV on a 84-month loan at 9% APR. Any tongue-wagging queer that wants to judge bruhs like @thane , such as @OckyDub coworkers, go ahead. I was a bankruptcy professional during the 2008 meltdown, so I know with the Trump meltdown soon to come (y’all notice all these big companies laying off recently, er um, making America great again!), those in cars they can’t afford will be soon be begging TV Lawyer Debt Repair LLC to reaffirm their overpriced car payments in a Chap 7 or 13 filing….
What a dude drives or if he even has a car has never been a factor for me. As long as he can get to the meet spot, fine with me. Folks tend to use the material stuff to judge a persons worth, which always puzzles me.
I'm embarrassed to say that I have fallen into this trap. And it was specifically around the Prius. For some f'd up reason I just associated a Prius with a feminine guy. It's awful. It happened when I was on a first date with a guy that i ended up in a serious relationship with and I knew he was coming to get me and I honestly was like "please don't let it be a pruis" lol. I hope that I'm much more mature now and am more sensible :-/
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MarcoPolo said:
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:ufdup::pachah1:
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MarcoPolo said:
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If I cared about what a guy drives, I think a Prius will make me think that he is environmentally conscious. As I am too, that will be a plus for the guy.
I totally get that. I also realize how stupid this thing is, but for someone reason my mind still does this dumb association between a Prius and (?) penis? I think I'd be fine if he had a bit of swagger (perhaps his environmentalism is part of that swagger), and maybe gave me some swagger via other means.
Ima going to speculate here, that its the Prius name that's the problem. It sounds too close to the word prick, which denotes an Eco friendly efficient smaller penis; by contrast the Dodge RAM doesn't suffer the any of those naming or efficiency problems. They should have named it the Katana: Efficient and Deadly! … it'd be practically car porn.
The problem is when guys drive Bro Trucks they are allegedly compensating for their size envy m
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thane said:
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"Katana" sounds like literally the hottest, blackest car I've never known.
MP, your comments reminded me of some of my deepest thoughts and shamed me. I feel compelled to clear my conscious, I cannot live a Lie. There is one case where a mans type of transportation could positively sway my judgment of him……………………….especially if Katana was the name of that beautiful four legged fury ridden by that blue hatted
cowboy thar………………
lol
looks like horses have google maps to.
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thane said:
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While I refuse to ride a horse again ( I rode one for two summers ) unless it concerns the apocalypse these two postings let me know I'm not the only one turned on by 'country' ass Black men?
Yall know I'm country.
@Jai most NYers I know don't even drive. Half of them don't because it can be a nuisance, and the other half are locals who never learned. Every other 35 yr old here still has a learner's permit. I work nights (mostly) so a car is convenient, but not a necessity, for me. My mans 'Jerome' is long in the tooth and wont be winning Mr. Universe anytime soon, but he was paid for in cash upfront, and does a great job of getting me around the city w/o guzzling much gas.
@OckyDub I guess I'm finally starting to believe yall about there being just too many fabulous/wanna be elite gays in ATL for the everyday guy to be able to 'fit' in. I know I'm in NY, but I honestly havent even heard of a case of 'car shaming' since 90s hood movies. Smh.
I need to move to place where it is warm and I can walk almost anywhere or live without a car. Having a car nowadays is pretty much meh as I was telling a friend you can get food and groceries and everything shipped to you. I wouldn't care what a man drives…. I might care about his stick shift though.
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Jai said:
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NOLA is the only real pedestrian city outside of the east coast. The food is hands down the best, it's got dense array of culture ranging from ultra upscale/ghetto often on the same street. Granted it's smaller, the metro region is over a million tho, so its not tiny just filled with unique and quirky people from all over. It also has over 18 million tourist pass thru annually, that's like net fishing a salmon run if you feel the need to engage with others. The only caveat to moving/living in NOLA, the key to a wonderful experience is to have a really good job….. money. If you young you can have a good time "student poor' , You don't have to spend a lot, for great food, the city is really cheap and economical if you want. Most southern cities have a pedestrian "scene" in NOLA the city is the scene for the pedestrians. Warm weather
*************(not paid by the New Orleans tourist commission)
Lmao..I am from Louisiana…but your comment makes me think…I was planning on making a trip to Nola or Orlando later this year and really like the idea of Orlando being popping for the entertainment industry. Some people say good things about Orlando, some say bad things about Florida in general..some say it's too expensive to live there. From the few times I've been to Nola I've loved it…my own issue is that the city is like a bowl whenever a hurricane comes…lol but you really got me thinking about just moving to Nola…a music h cheaper move compared to Orlando perhaps. I just need to make sure I secure a better job in the Entertainment industry and I kinda fill like La is slowly recovering but too slow ATM..lol
You right about the slow recovery statewide, but New Orleans is developing its own weather system, I never seen anything like it, the development is city wide, cbd, warehouse, bywater, the new cresent city park covers the whole thing all along the river from the bywater to the warehouse, bike paths, running , street cars the whole place has an positive energy I never seen before.
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Jai said:
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Not all of it flooded, just rent a condo
Besides …West coast has earthquakes (whole interstates can pancake down on your head!) , fires , northwest, volcanoes,drought…Rockies snow and ice, lots and lots of ice. , Midwest tornadoes, monster hail (new roofs, hope you saved the car) Hurricanes on all the coasts. At least with a hurricane you have warning…..
Oh, and you triggered my levee rant……….The levee system that failed was planned an begun after Hurricane Betsy in the mid 1960's. Congress and every American president including G. Bush delayed and diverted funding and the levee was still incomplete in 2005 when Katrina hit. The tragedy that unfolded was the result of a dysfunctional federal system. The real dirty secret is that the deepwater port at the mouth of the river is one of the largest in the world and it ships out food to almost half of it. The real reason Louisiana and New Orleans is suffering epic coastal erosion is because the river sediment that would bulwark the marshes is being sent over the Continental plate into the abyss to keep the ships flowing cheaply with no dredging, they are "saving money".
Damn but what I'f dude pockets ain't stacked up yet.