Getting Sized Up: On Dealing With Penis Inferiority Complex

By Juan-Carlos | Posted Sep 16 2018 | 8 Comments  


As in the comics, I like a good origin story for our hero. It insightfully gives an account on how the character gained their special abilities and whether their powers are used for good or evil. The word penis is originated from the Latin word for tail. The usage of the word* primarily becomes a proper modifier to this part of male genitalia because there is a length to the appendage. This is comically oxymoronic for when it comes to male sex it’s literally tail getting inserted into tail. Puns aside, the penis has and hold actual value in the culture. It is envied, a symbol of masculinity, and a source of judgment. [With] Black and Latin men, our penis is those things in addition to being a hypersexualized instrument of fetish with people of non-color.

The relationship we have with our own member is realized during adolescence and becomes an object of curiosity. This thing between our legs identifies that we are biologically male, have an accessible external sex organ to see and touch, and something that can possibly and awkwardly define our manliness. In seventh grade, I had gym class last period. I enjoyed the activities and fun during the school day’s last hour though the only thing I dreaded was hitting the showers. Being the last class before getting released for the day I didn’t understand why showering at school wasn’t optional. Coach enforced this unwritten rule it and made it mandatory to hit the showers after activities with no exceptions. Now thinking about it, the coach casually observing us nude teenagers may have been a quieted delight while he feasted his eyes on young flesh…..pervert. My pubescent experience made it feel socially awkward. Being naked with other young men in my class wasn’t some primal event dancing around a campfire while beating a drum. I felt much more modest as at that time as our bodies are going through changes. I was a late bloomer in the development department though my phallus did extend past the drop of my sack. Taking forced quick glances around you see the differences in each other while mentally comparing yourself against this “control group” of random guys. Being naked is a vulnerable state especially when you begin to notice the differences measured and unmeasured.


There was this mutant of a kid in class named Carrington. He was in the eighth grade for this gym period was mixed with seventh and eighth graders. He stood 6′ feet, weighed a lean and muscular 175 lbs., with full pubes with a limp ten inch-er. I was body shamed before that word became part of our cultural lexicon. Carrington represented to me masculinity personified- a man’s man. What a responsibility to shoulder even before he could even get his driver’s license, huh? Carrington’s advanced physical growth and sexual maturation caused him to appear much older than his chronological age. It hadn’t occurred to me that perhaps Carrington may had to shoulder some personal issues of his own due to his looks. He couldn’t control how his body naturally developed; it’s the proverbial gift and a curse. While my same sex
attraction or curiosity wasn’t realized during my youth I just couldn’t help but to admire him. Perhaps this created an unconscious anxiety at the time for his physique was impressive and his penis size left a lasting impression. He was certainly extra large and in charge in comparison to pre-teen sized me. My own penis envy went away the following year when I had a growth spurt of my own. It’s official when my platano has made it into the well above average category.

It’s really not altogether out of the ordinary. In this culture, whether it’s the size of your bank account, the graduate master’s suffix added to your professional name, from the cup size of a woman bra to a full round plump ass, bigger is promoted to be better. So, why shouldn’t an organ connected to our manhood be exempt?

Sexually, who do we males pattern ourselves after? The guys in adult movies has porn penis and can power pump for forty minutes with multiple women busting multiple nutz. So, the message is if you have a big dick you have the strength and virility to please your partner to climax. No pressure. No pressure at all.

Our relationship with our tool is constant as caretaker and it's competitive. Constant for its a lifelong health and maintenance. Sequing into Caretaker. Caretaker in addressing possible health related issues like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, smegma (if uncut), balanitis, epispadias, hypospadias, penile cancer, Peyronie’s disease, phimosis, paraphimosis, and priapism. Competitive as in get sizing yourself up against peers , dates or present partner's past lovers or dealing with performance anxiety. Having a dick is carrying quite the charge and to think there’s a Freudian term called penis envy. More dick more problems.

Lastly, there is a sexual curiosity for the other. Black and brown dick is like a caged exotic animal. Spectators are curious to see it and drawn by fascination. Captivated by its size, strength and prowess onlookers marvel at its grandness. Appreciation turns into fantasy, fantasy to desire, desire to a want, want to wanton. There is seductive power in BBC. So, whether it’s your own insecurities or self-condemnation in comparing something that is genetically coded for you to what that hot guy in the gym is packing know that your self-worth is greater and immensely more measurable.

*(referenced in the collected writings called the Epistulae ad Familiares of Marcus Tillius Cicero around 62-43 BC)

About the Author

Juan Carlos hails from the Bronx, NYC. Even though he has been in Atlanta for over ten years, he is still a New Yorker at heart. Juan is an avid reader, hip hop head and Marvel Comics enthusiast. His rich family roots are a Tri-Latin American Mix of Dominican, Puerto Rican & Brazilian. Always looking forward, Juan continues to be an ardent life learner.

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8 Comments Feel Free To Join The Cypher.

  1. alton
    alton | September 17th, 2018

    This is an interesting article. Quite frankly, I never saw another dude's exposed d@#k until I went to Basic Training. Myself and a few other squad members would shower right before lights out (I did it not because I was embarrassed about my dk size, but more so because I knew my dk was gonna get hard around the other guys so I played it safe). There was another dude I remember that would also shower late, and I did catch a glimpse of his dk a few times and he was like the Carrington dude in the article, amazing. I remember my homeboy Dani and my other homeboy Demetrius from high school. We were 17yo at the time and I would catch their dk prints when we were at the pool. These dude's prints were phenomenal. Same with my cousin, he was maybe 14yo at the time and could give ANY grown a$$ man a run for their money. but I say all that to say, none of this ever made me feel inferior in that aspect. My issue was always body dysmorphia because I was always the "husky boy" in the group.

  2. Juan-Carlos
    Juan-Carlos | September 17th, 2018

    I appreciate your comment. Yeah, it is awkward in trying not to look. It's difficult not to admire the physical beauty or endowment of an attractive man. The way we view ourselves is always the harshest and usually with the most critical measure. You're a king , Alton. I fux with you, you from NY.

  3. alton
    alton | September 17th, 2018

    Juan-Carlos said:

    I appreciate your comment. Yeah, it is awkward in trying not to look. It's difficult not to admire the physical beauty or endowment of an attractive man. The way we view ourselves is always the harshest and usually with the most critical measure. You're a king , Alton. I fux with you, you from NY.Click to expand…

    LOL!!! Dude, I never sweated that because I knew I still had some growin up to do. Good things came to those (me) who waited LMAO

  4. Juan-Carlos
    Juan-Carlos | September 17th, 2018

    Facts and me included with that iight.

  5. Rhode
    Rhode | September 18th, 2018

    Great article. I had a self revelation in the eighth grade. At my middle school in the eighth grade, the guys had to take swimming class. Prior to that I had no awareness of other guy's penises and scarcely paid attention to my own, except for those annoying impromptu erections many of us go through during adolescence. For the first time I saw guys I have known since elementary school fully nude . I was a thick guy and when I compared my little dick between my big pillar thighs, I felt under endowed. However, seeing my peers some with huge dicks, some with little dicks, some cut, and others not, it awakened something in me. I did not want to be gay, but when I started jacking off, the images of all my friends' dicks would always be in my thoughts. I became a size queen (sorry my conservative brothers, gotta keep it 100). Back in the day,day,day, men wore pants that fitted their body more closely than the garments of today. If one was so inclined, depending on the underwear and placement, one could often spot the outline of a guy's maleness. As I grew older I did not have great long length (average) but I had very nice girth with a big fat head. I have been assured that endowment was acceptable, so I lost my inferiority complex But seeing all my fellow students nude as we changed in and out of our swimming trunks that semester changed me forever.

  6. African King
    African King | September 19th, 2018

    I never had the experience in high school with seeing another man's penis. The first time I saw a man's penis live was when I was 25 y.o. and I was in Florida for a graduate school interview. After the interview, I had just that night then the morning I was leaving to remain in Fort Lauderdale. At the end I knew that I looked up gay bars and clubs in the area and not too far from Fort Lauderdale is an area called Pompano Beach. They had the defunct Swinging Richards strip club there (it was FAR better than the ATL location that is still in operation). I was debating with myself on whether or not I should go because it was the first time that I would put myself in a "gay space". I remember leaving my hotel room late at night to go and grab maybe $200 from the ATM before pulling up to Swinging Richards. I parked my car and could not believe I was walking into a gay space…. then I went in there and it was a pretty slow night but there were some very fine Afro-Latino strippers of all shades and (muscle) sizes dancing on stage and doing all these elaborate tricks like it was the male version of Magic City in Atlanta. That was the first of many times I saw penis right in front of me in various strip clubs until I actually had oral sex 3 years after that! LOL.

  7. Nick Delmacy
    Nick Delmacy | September 20th, 2018

    Anything I say may come off as arrogant, but I never had this issue as a kid or even as an adult. I was more so envious of whole bodies than specific peens. I was a tall lanky kid that still always had a pooch, the fat in the lower abdomen section. So while I was skinny, I never had the six pack (or just flat stomach) and lean muscular toned bodies that all my male classmates seemed to have.

    In hindsight, I could have put my faster teenage metabolism to good use and hit the school gym or ran some track from time to time. But I wasn't "gay" then so it didn't bother me enough to do something until I hit college and started exploring my sexuality. Once I hit the gay scene (just hookups and all that) and was exposed to more gay porn featuring lean muscular men like Tiger Tyson and all of Latino Fan Club, that's when I started to be more body self conscious.

    But peen envy was never a factor since I would learn that I was a size that some others would come to envy. I think I'm an average size for Black men, tbh. My shit isn't even double digits. Once you 10-11 inches, thats what I consider a peen size worth being envious of…

  8. African King
    African King | September 20th, 2018

    Lol I can relate to seeing all the stuff from Real Urban Men and Latino Fan Club when I was a teenager. I remember not being as conscious until viewing more of the black and Latino gay porn then seeing the actors bodies. As far as the peen thing, @Nick Delmacy people gotta know that having a 9" peen is not Average. That is WELL above average. I heard Charlamagne on The Breakfast Club talking about his peen and it being 8" and saying that is average. He is well above average. I remember when one of the female interns was on The Breakfast Club talking about Safaree Samuels nude photo leak… she said he is NOT big enough and she was unimpressed. I was like… Safaree got a BIG OL PEEN. Museum peen! Lol. If you do a quick Google search you will see that for all men regardless of race that the average size is just under 6" for peen. Then when you go by race, it does not vary much from the average of all men. White and Black men typically are larger than all other races but ummm yeah… 8" and 9" peens are WELL ABOVE AVERAGE.

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