Getting Sized Up: On Dealing With Penis Inferiority Complex
As in the comics, I like a good origin story for our hero. It insightfully gives an account on how the character gained their special abilities and whether their powers are used for good or evil. The word penis is originated from the Latin word for tail. The usage of the word* primarily becomes a proper modifier to this part of male genitalia because there is a length to the appendage. This is comically oxymoronic for when it comes to male sex it’s literally tail getting inserted into tail. Puns aside, the penis has and hold actual value in the culture. It is envied, a symbol of masculinity, and a source of judgment. [With] Black and Latin men, our penis is those things in addition to being a hypersexualized instrument of fetish with people of non-color.
The relationship we have with our own member is realized during adolescence and becomes an object of curiosity. This thing between our legs identifies that we are biologically male, have an accessible external sex organ to see and touch, and something that can possibly and awkwardly define our manliness. In seventh grade, I had gym class last period. I enjoyed the activities and fun during the school day’s last hour though the only thing I dreaded was hitting the showers. Being the last class before getting released for the day I didn’t understand why showering at school wasn’t optional. Coach enforced this unwritten rule it and made it mandatory to hit the showers after activities with no exceptions. Now thinking about it, the coach casually observing us nude teenagers may have been a quieted delight while he feasted his eyes on young flesh…..pervert. My pubescent experience made it feel socially awkward. Being naked with other young men in my class wasn’t some primal event dancing around a campfire while beating a drum. I felt much more modest as at that time as our bodies are going through changes. I was a late bloomer in the development department though my phallus did extend past the drop of my sack. Taking forced quick glances around you see the differences in each other while mentally comparing yourself against this “control group” of random guys. Being naked is a vulnerable state especially when you begin to notice the differences measured and unmeasured.
There was this mutant of a kid in class named Carrington. He was in the eighth grade for this gym period was mixed with seventh and eighth graders. He stood 6′ feet, weighed a lean and muscular 175 lbs., with full pubes with a limp ten inch-er. I was body shamed before that word became part of our cultural lexicon. Carrington represented to me masculinity personified- a man’s man. What a responsibility to shoulder even before he could even get his driver’s license, huh? Carrington’s advanced physical growth and sexual maturation caused him to appear much older than his chronological age. It hadn’t occurred to me that perhaps Carrington may had to shoulder some personal issues of his own due to his looks. He couldn’t control how his body naturally developed; it’s the proverbial gift and a curse. While my same sex
attraction or curiosity wasn’t realized during my youth I just couldn’t help but to admire him. Perhaps this created an unconscious anxiety at the time for his physique was impressive and his penis size left a lasting impression. He was certainly extra large and in charge in comparison to pre-teen sized me. My own penis envy went away the following year when I had a growth spurt of my own. It’s official when my platano has made it into the well above average category.
It’s really not altogether out of the ordinary. In this culture, whether it’s the size of your bank account, the graduate master’s suffix added to your professional name, from the cup size of a woman bra to a full round plump ass, bigger is promoted to be better. So, why shouldn’t an organ connected to our manhood be exempt?
Sexually, who do we males pattern ourselves after? The guys in adult movies has porn penis and can power pump for forty minutes with multiple women busting multiple nutz. So, the message is if you have a big dick you have the strength and virility to please your partner to climax. No pressure. No pressure at all.
Our relationship with our tool is constant as caretaker and it's competitive. Constant for its a lifelong health and maintenance. Sequing into Caretaker. Caretaker in addressing possible health related issues like premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, smegma (if uncut), balanitis, epispadias, hypospadias, penile cancer, Peyronie’s disease, phimosis, paraphimosis, and priapism. Competitive as in get sizing yourself up against peers , dates or present partner's past lovers or dealing with performance anxiety. Having a dick is carrying quite the charge and to think there’s a Freudian term called penis envy. More dick more problems.
Lastly, there is a sexual curiosity for the other. Black and brown dick is like a caged exotic animal. Spectators are curious to see it and drawn by fascination. Captivated by its size, strength and prowess onlookers marvel at its grandness. Appreciation turns into fantasy, fantasy to desire, desire to a want, want to wanton. There is seductive power in BBC. So, whether it’s your own insecurities or self-condemnation in comparing something that is genetically coded for you to what that hot guy in the gym is packing know that your self-worth is greater and immensely more measurable.
*(referenced in the collected writings called the Epistulae ad Familiares of Marcus Tillius Cicero around 62-43 BC)
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