As I watched MTV’s True Life: Secrets, Lies & Sex (view full episode below), I had to frequently question what was real, staged or scripted.Since news and a trailer about the show have been out for a couple of weeks now, the internet (including gossip blogs and facebook) has put these two young men under a microscope. Some have stated like most of all Reality TV, this episode of “True Life” is really staged or partially fake.This particular episode (which should be titled “Gay Secrets, Lies & Sex”) features Coke and TaRodd who are both in their early twenties and consider themselves DL. Yes sadly it doesn’t seem like this angle will never go away in all forms of gay media. TaRodd states he is the owner of Badboys Club Entertainment, which is basically a party promoter and Coke is the MC of these parties. They view themselves as “local celebrities” and “are known all over town” as they put it. I do respect the entrepreneurial spirit and attitude of being a business owner but something about this episode seemed like “seeking attention” for validation and using the “DL shhh don’t tell no-body” topic for promotional purposes.
I’m DL and a Gay Escort. Shhh Don’t Tell Anybody.
So how at some point, (especially within the local black community) word would have not gotten back to the “girlfriends” of these local celebrities that not only they may be gay but also cheating with both men and women? I can understand the adults or parents in their lives who may be technically challenged and not into the internet, facebook or YouTube not knowing but not the young girlfriends? We are to believe that over the years no one ever pointed out the YouTube videos or the facebook pages with pictures to the girlfriends…really?
Hmmm…It seems to me like this is a case of wanting to be fabulous and famous gay black celebrities and MTV saw an opportunity for a somewhat real life scripted new episode for their series. At any rate, I am sure there are some nuggets of truth in there but I had to adjust my mindset to not fully embrace this as “real life” but as another black gay web series in the guise of a reality show. Interesting idea to say the least.
Yes, I know there are plenty of twenty-somethings in the black gay community who have a certain mindset which is seen in these young men but what about those black gay men and women who don’t?
There are plenty of us who are not borderline hood, in the gay scene and plenty of us who have transcended environments and come out of the gay lifestyle but that doesn’t mean we are problem and issue free. Where is positive motivational messages and imagery for these type gays of color?
In this one episode you witness; men cheating on both men and women, child molestation being the excuse for bisexuality, gay domestic violence, the devastated baby mama who was lied to and betrayed by the cheating black man. Absent black incarcerated fathers, out of wedlock birth and not to mention enough tattoos to feel a professional NBA basketball team.
You can view Secrets, Lies & Sex in its entirety below. Feel free to let us know what you think of the review and episode.
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I really liked the scene with Tarodd and his mom too. Very rarely do you get to see that. As for the rest of the show, I don’t really now how authentic it was. I was kinda really bothered by the fact that Coke thinks his bisexuality stems from his child molestation. There’s a lot of baggage there that he needs to unpack.
Also, ignorant sidenote: Was I the only one who thought it was interesting that Coke ended up with a female in the end and Tarodd wanted to be with a dude? I know gender performance doesn’t mean anything, but I couldn’t help but tilt my head to the side. I’m working on that.
LMAO…the instinct to ask that question is there for a reason. Is it really something to work on? LOL
For me the bigger question is for the chick that Coke (really dude…the world knows you as Coke) ended up with.
Why would you want to be with a dude who is a gay escort, who just came out of the closet and has an out of wedlock baby on the way from a woman who broke up with him because he was lying and cheating on her with other dudes with? How long before she gets pregnant? Are the pickings or her standards that low?
I actually enjoyed seeing people who look like I do and are the exact same age as I am coming clean about their sexuality to their mothers. I do think that it is interesting how mothers sometimes do know about their sons’ sexuality before they even hear it from their sons’ mouths. I can say that I do appreciate what MTV put together and I do like that these two young men put their stories out there. As for the truth behind it, I only question it now because of the comments (and the review written above). I do hope that these two are being truthful but some people do engage in reality shows just for the sake of being seen on TV.
My favorite moment was the interaction between TaRodd and his mother. It was so touching and I loved how he could be transparent with her. It made me emotional… I’m not even gonna front. I know what he is going through and I hope that I can muster the courage to come out to my parents and my close group of friends.
As for this statement: “The aforementioned tattoos, cloths, shoes, partying, hair appointments, hair extensions, nails, drinks in the club, etc. If only we took 10% of that money to seek and obtain professional help in the form of psychological therapy.” Ocky you already know that I agree with this 100%. I liked the post on your blog about mental health and I am definitely going to make that and my physical health a bigger priority in life.
There are a few things i seen in your review that i would like to address in an interview before your viewers tear apart your review!! Please contact me at Roddy1485@gmail.com
Hey TaRodd and thanks for hitting us up.
I am not worried about Discreet City readers tearing the review apart. They know me, know my voice and for the most part understand my point of view regardless if they agree or disagree.
We always welcome respectful discourse and the readers are always free to voice their dissenting opinions and they do so in the comments section and also in direct emails.
Many times their opinions are exact opposites of my content and that’s okay because we encourage them to voice their points of view…so it’s all good.
Feel free to email us directly at DiscreetCity@gmail.com if you have anything to add.
Thanks again.
He’s trying to score interviews on blogs now. Glad you didn’t fall for it. Love the way you handled that because I would have done the same. If he got something to say or something he wanna address nobody is stopping him. These feminine gay black males are desperate for attention. Always pulling stunts and trying to get over to get ahead.
I wasn’t impressed with this show when I first saw the preview but I must say that it turned out to be really good.I was deeply touched by the scene between Tarrod and his mother because it brought back memories of when I first came out to my Mother.You sometimes think that you’re hiding in the shadows but Mother always knows.I am so happy for Tarrod that he was finally able to find himself and find happiness.It was too late to save his relationship with Marvin and that’s really sad but just like Fantasia said in her song sometimes you have to lose to win.I wish Coke luck and if his life as he is living it makes him happy then who am I to pass judgement.Once again thanks to you guys for providing us with quality programming.
I’m surprise coke girl couldn,t tell he was gay he acted and talked a lil fem he gave out a fem vibe . surprise both girls didn’t see something about there men action i guess some women see what they want to see. I agree some parts where staged with the brothers. love this site it’s very good with a lot of masculine vibe .
I actually enjoyed this episode of True Life. I think a lot of people misconstrued what Coke was trying to say with regard to him being molested by a family member at a young age and that possibly leading to the way he leads his life today. With him being “bisexual”, my sense is that he identified himself as straight prior to him being molested and since he was at an impressionable age when it happened, he thought it was normal behavior thus he adapted the same behavior. In regards to Tarrod, I almost shed a tear when the scene with he and his mom his the screen because you can tell it was a genuine moment and its something he’s been wanting to tell her for along time. One of the more troubling scenes was when Coke told his baby mama that he was bisexual and she was quick to dismiss it and say “you have sex with men, you’re gay, your a fag!” Why is there such a double-standard when it comes to men & women claiming they’re bisexual? This isn’t a shot @ you Ocky but I feel too many people focused on whether they acted masculine or feminine more so than the actual subject of the show. My hope is that we watch this episode and really have open dialogue on the issues that young black men are facing when it comes to them coming to terms with their sexuality and why they’re hiding in the proverbial “closet”.
I didn’t care if they were fem or masc. My opinions are still the same. More so my point was how can someone that is openly queening out on YouTube claim to be DL and in the closet when you were openly gay back in 2010? That doesn’t make sense.
That is in no way authentic and leads to the question and ponder that this was a publicity stunt on a scripted reality TV show.
Also Coke’s girlfriend Tam was the victim in the situation not Coke. Being unsure about your sexuality doesn’t equal lying and cheating to your baby’s mama. WTF was she supposed to say or how was she supposed to act after being deceived and betrayed? Please stop making excuses for poor behavior. When I was with a chick I never cheated or sleep with another dude.
As far as your statement that folks focused too much on whether they were masc or fem and didn’t focus on the subject of the show…the effeminacy again calls into question their authenticity of really being DL in the closet. How can you ignore this when someone appears to be so effeminately gay?
If Coke was as “feminine” acting as you say he is/was and appears to be then HOW COME SHE DIDN’T KNOW she was sleeping with a GAY man? That’s basically the problem with having children out of wedlock – there’s no commit of monogamy in those relationships. When children are involved there needs to be a legal commitment, but that’s just my opinion in hindsight in this particular case. Seeing how he was “queening out,” when did she not know she was sleeping with a GAY man? Who told her to get pregnant? Did she do it of her own choosing and free will? Was she coerced, threatened, or bribed? She is a party to the mess just as much as he is too. IT TAKES TWO TO TANGLE. Where’s a woman’s intuition in this case? Laying up having a baby by somebody you barely KNOW ANYTHING about speaks volume about your values and character.
The whole idea of these stunts queens running around claiming DL is bothersome to me. I feel like it wasn’t enough for these effeminate gay males to perpetuate all these negative stereotypes about gay black males. They already have society thinking all gay black males are like those dudes on Atlanta Housewives and Noah’s arc. Now they are trying to have society thinking DL men are effeminate gay club promoters and BDSM escorts? I mean what in the actual fuck??
While I agree with much of what you guys are saying I think we need to be careful when we use language that seems to defend the DL men of the world. True, our site is called Discreet City so we respect men not wanting to wear “I’M GAY” T-shirts everywhere…but that doesn’t mean we have the same level of respect for DL men.
If you’re a dude sleeping with men while you have a girlfriend or wife, you are foul. End of story. No matter how unsure you are about your sexuality, you are cheating on someone and potentially opening up the risk if STIs to a supposedly monogamous relationship. Just be single. Just be honest. Your partner may be down for an open relationship.
So I don’t care that these dudes are effeminate, escorts or gay club promoters yet claiming to be DL on MTV. DL men are lying cheating scum. That’s like seeing a show about pedophiles and complaining that they were not positively represented accurately.
I am having the biggest issue with how the “MAN” is always blamed for “hurting” the woman. That’s B.S. When do two adults take responsibility for being involved in a relationship that went sour? She engaged in the relationship with him – HAD SEX WITH HIM – not investigating whether she NEEDED TO KNOW MORE. These are two separate human beings who came together under their own volition. This man is not to blame for a woman who didn’t care to ask, in 2013, ARE YOU SEEING ANYBODY ELSE BESIDES ME? ARE YOU GAY? ARE YOU BISEXUAL? AIDS has been around for how many years now? 30! THIRTY LONG YEARS AND PEOPLE ARE STILL HAVING CASUAL SEX, GETTING PREGNANT, BEING INFECTED AND PASSING SEXUALLY TRANSMITTED DISEASES/INFECTIONS AND BLAMING EVERYBODY BUT THEMSELVES for their irresponsible behavior. They are both UNDER 30 years old. When is it time to ask the all to MAGICAL QUESTION? ARE YOU GAY?
Nick, if you were asked by a woman, “Are you GAY?” how would you answer it? Would you say, “Yes, I’m gay,” or “None of you business,” or “Why did you ask me that,” or “Get out of my face with that bs,” or “Hell Nall I ain’t gay,” or “Why, are you gay,” or “What kind of question is that?”
I think you should do a podcast on this question. “If a woman asks a man, “Are you GAY?” how should he respond?” How would you respond? I am very interested in the response to this as I would like to see how many people will truthfully answer this question.
I am so sick of women crying about, “How he hurt me,” when they were just as much a party to the madness as the male. This is so pathetic.
I do believe coke girl friend or “baby mama” was betrayed and deceived. .if you are living a double life that includes bisexual behavior that’s your right no judgement however its not fair to let this woman who is heterosexual proceed forward with a life changing decision of having a baby in she doesn’t know your bisexual. Just like he made decisions for his life she should of had that same right pregnant or not to proceed forward in a relationship with him…everyone has dreams of how they want to raise their child or just what’s acceptable for their lifestyle. Not giving her a fair opportunity to decide if that was something accepting to her was not cool. That was cruel and selfish to tell that girl not only on TV but after she’s 6 months pregnant that your bisexual and an escort. . everything is not for everyone..Coke has deep issues I hope he gets the much-needed help he desperately needs..also coke and many other “DL” men can deceive their partner when you don’t run in the same circle, you have a Younger partner, or someone who’s just a home body especially when he’s pretending about who he really is.. hell heterosexual men do it all the time with women so please don’t make it that young ladies fault she was lied to like so many. I go out in Cleveland all the time I’ve never seen them two but than again its likely ppl hang with different crowds. you don’t know to look for something you don’t suspect. ..the other young man I actually enjoyed his story…
Coke’s story annoyed me. *shrugs shoulder*.
I want to add my two cents to this discussion. I once assumed that all effeminate men are gay. To my complete surprise, I have encountered men who are somewhat feminine and soft who are a hundred percent straight. Hence, this was an object lesson for me as a black gay man. So whats my point? We brothers who are masculine and discrete must be careful of the way we view those who are not like us. Because we might be masculine and carry ourselves discretely does not give us a “better than they” status. We can do without the name calling and all that crap. The fact remains some straight brothers are soft and somewhat feminine and some women are attracted to that. I have learnt and continue to learn that sexuality is not concrete in all cases and does not adhere to certain rules of behavior. This site has proven that fact time and time again. Consider our hero of the moment, Jason Collins.
It’s been a long time since I’ve viewed MTV for anything. After reading the article, viewing the video, and reading the comments. I am totally done with MTV. lol. They certainly know how to promote all the negative stereotypes of our people. The conspiracy theory lives on……. Smh walking away slowly.