Question Of The Week – Who Would You Rather Date?
For me, the negative reactions from some black gays concerning the revelation that Derrick Gordon and Michael Sam are dating white men has been mind numbing. The outrage from some black gays is basically that of “yet again we have another visibly Out black gay celeb with a non-black gay man”. It’s no secret that I (like many other gay men) only date other masculine men. For the outraged black gays who share my masculine dating preference, the question for them that came to my mind is;
“If you have a choice between an effeminate overly flamboyant black gay man and a masculine gay white man, which would you choose?”
I can’t wait to read the comments on this.
None of the above!
Friends with either sure!
There just would be no romantic connection for me.
For me no
Doubt It would be the masculine white guy…I’m sorry but men who prance around like women just don’t do it for me, in any way. Granted you live your life and be who you want to be…that doesn’t mean I have to date you, it’s a preference…some like soft men, I don’t. Just like some dudes only like gym rats…it’s what they like…and I don’t hear anybody running around saying that’s wrong! Now this sams issue…goes waaaaaay deeper than this specific topic. It really speaks to how black men both gay and str8 are seen…. Sexual objects good for a hot time but not a life time…”You blacks are good for lusting after and having sex with, but I would never parade you around as my lover/mate/husband “… As sad as it is…it remains the truth!
“You blacks are good for lusting after and having sex with, but I would never parade you around as my lover/mate/husband“…
Its seems at least that’s not true for the two white men dating Derrick Gordon and Mike Sam. They seem to value them enough to want to be seen with them and parade them around.
I would have to concur with JRonn to an extent with the perception of the Black (skinned) Male (mainly Gay male, but can be applied to str8 black men as well). The better majority of non-black men DO perceive black guys as “Good to fuck but not relationship material”. This is not ALL, but honestly it is enough to warrant a little frustration. I’ve dealt with both black guys and latino guys that were relationship oriented (less latino men however, and NO masculine latino men (yet), only the “softer” ones seemed relationship oriented) however I’ve observed recently both in overhearing side convos, stories from my best friend, and direct questioning, that a lot of “non-black” gay guys, meaning light skinned latinos, white, Asian, etc mainly see black dudes only good as fuck partners. Again, this is not ALL non-black gay men, but it’s damn sure a lot of them that think this way. And most of them don’t mind “parading” a black man around on their arm because it’s kinda like a trophy, like… “look whats diggin’ my back out like a porn star”, but for the most part they’re not looking to buckle down with us. Hopefully this doesn’t apply to these two couples, tho.
Sure there are exceptions to every rule…and they are those exceptions but in the larger spectrum not so much…. But again that attitude goes all the way back to slavery….which isn’t really the topic at hand…so I digress and wish them all the best of luck!
I reject your premise and find it quite limiting. Dating is more complex then flamboyance or masculinity (which by nature is extremely subjective). The two recent examples of “out or known” black men is just that two examples out of thousands of gay relationships and interactions but that not the question at hand, I think all the hysteria is misplaced. I have found this blog to be quite interesting because there is some irrational placement on masculinity and what is increasingly becoming a narrower and narrower definition of what that means. Secondly, if you are making dating decisions based on skin color or race (regardless of “preference”) you are probably limited in capacity of experience and will always find yourself on the short end on reality. What is the point of asking a weekly question like this? What purpose does it serve? Are you trying to reduce the flare of a “overly flamboyant black man” or rally support for dating “masculine gay white man”?? I honestly, don’t get it.
All that being said…these are the two options pertaining to my question on this one issue. Hence its designed to be limited. I thought that should have been understood.
Also, having preferences usually limits your dating options regardless of what they are.
I’d date the white guy…no question about it…But then again I don’t have the hangups on race that many black gay men have. Would I prefer a brother, yes…but if I had to choose between these two to go out on a date, even for just one date, I’d choose and probably have a good time with the white guy.
While these two extremes are unfair to use in comparison, the point made is clear. I think the main problem I have with black people who complain about celebrity interracial relationships is that it reminds me of bitter single black women who complain about celebrity interracial relationships. The seem to be saying, “I want a basketball player husband but they all going for white men/women! Where’s my rich, celebrity baller man?” They claim its about representation but when you bring up countless examples of black gay couples, they ignore them because they’re not famous or recognizable enough.
I’m glad you understood my point. If a black gay man wants to date another masculine black gay man only that’s fine but what to do if a masculine black gay man is not available but a masculine white gay man is? Does one limit their potential happiness due to race?
Nick let me ask you, why do you think the two examples are unfair to use in comparison? Both exist within the gay community.
Its unfair because you didn’t choose a regular feminine black guy…you chose a cross dressing extreme. MOST gay men, even fems, may pause when having to make a choice about a flamboyantly feminine gay guy.
It’s not just gay black men, MOST people have racial hang ups, and the ones that don’t are probably still concerned about the hang ups of those in their social circles. Fact of life.
I think this maybe is comparing to the images of black gay men in media, and what this communicates to young gay guys & their options as to who they should choose as a mate?? But I really don’t think thats an excuse for the disproportionate representations. As a 21 year old black gay man, I just always hope that their are a majority of black men who are in healthy relationships with each other. For me, another black guy would be my first pick but I don’t think that the statistics are so much in my favor when adding additional factors. Consider education, black women already achieve higher education than men, and it’s difficult for them to find black men equivalent to themselves, who they like. Then I have to consider myself, by cutting down the pool to only considering the gay black males, even slimmer chances. Then actually finding someone that matches me, I find attractive & I enjoy their company, all typical things that anyone will consider in finding a mate. To be honest I don’t think that considering an interracial relationship would be as much an issue if I were straight. I do think there is a possibility of black gay men being in healthy relationship, but it looks like it requires some extra steps. Its already hard enough being a black gay man & dammit its not fair I have to endure more to be with another black guy, someone who I can relate to & am attracted to.
I feel ya man however understand their are plenty of examples of long term successful black gay relationships within the black gay community.
Seriously Ocky? This juxtaposition is laughable. I’m guessing you’re being rhetorical because the white guy you posted above more-than-likely wouldn’t seriously date your average Cypher Avenue reader anyway, ijs.
“that white guy you posted above more-than-likely wouldn’t seriously date any of your Cypher Avenue readers”
Why not?
As I stated in the related post about Derrick Gordon, gay white men that look like that don’t typically date black men. They usually stick with their own kind. Now, they may screw a black man occasionally, but when it comes time to get joint checking accounts, they’re not checking for black men. Sorry to my bros that chose this white guy as the better option in this hypothetical question. The real question is, all else being equal and given the choice, would this guy date me (assuming you’re black)? Those of us not in denial already know the answer.
I think I understand what you are saying but I don’t think that low of myself. Imma Stunna. Any dude on my arm should feel honored…AND my house is in order and my FICO is above 750.
It would be interesting to see this very same question posed in reverse on the mainstream white gay blogs, where you’d have a perceived masculine black man positioned against a perceived flamboyant gay white male. Given the two options, I’d love to see how many of the white men would be tripping over their feet to grasp at the black man like some of these brothas are doing for the white man in this question. Interesting indeed.
VERY interesting point! That’s good shit there. Love it.
This one of the reasons that I don’t really date white men they seem to have this same mentality that you have that they are better than, and beleive me they’re not. You seem to think that he’s the prize and everyone would want him.
blah blah blah…you didn’t answer the question…why?
Michael Sam’s boyfriend Vito Cammisano is actually kinda hot tho. They went to the same school together and were both athletes (the boyfriend was a swimmer). Makes sense that they’re together.
Also…haven’t they been together for like a couple of years? Before the fame…just saying.
I thought they have been together for only a few months from what I read but I could be wrong.
Where are y’all from? I feel like the diversity I have experienced in the Gay Culture of Tampa Bay area, Florida has exposed me to a pretty broad basis of dating options. I have seen all kinds of relationships develop black white, black black, fem masc, fem fem, masc masc, etc. The whole nine yards. What’s with these irrational generalities? I know everyone has a “type” or “preference” but some of the commentary seen on this blog simply shows that a lot of us, gay black men, have only been exposed to a relatively small section of the gay community, and in some cases an even smaller section of the black gay community. The men depicted in the picture of representations of extremes but also represents the fact that there are some white men out there who look like that white guy in the picture who are attracted to black men, are dating black men, etc. On the flip side, there are lots of black fems men who are pursued on the regular by “masculine” black men and vice versa. Its just weird to me that we are having some strange rhetorical intellectual exercise on our own limitations of thinking when it comes to men, race, and perceived masculinity.
Could just be a “regional” thing. When I was stationed at Ft. Bragg, NC, I saw all different types of relationships as well and people didn’t have so many hangups. Here in NYC it’s a different ballgame. I surmise that because there are SO many different (exotic, for lack of a better description) guys here, most Gay men (NYC Gay Men honestly do tend to be a lot more superficial) would rather go for the Creme Brulée (and the more widely accepted default Vanilla) rather than the “plain ol’ chocolate, unless they’re just looking to satisfy a “craving” in which case chocolate always “delivers”. That analogy “dumbs” the situation way down, but for general purposes I think it works.
I definitely understand your analogy. Now I am hungry. One would think that in NYC of all places would be even more open to cross-cultural, inter-ethnic exchanges and would be more accepting of all types of gays but apparently, that is not the case.
Yeah. Don’t get me wrong,there are those that are contrary to the mass mentality here, but they are FEW and FAAAR in-between, bro. For dudes that are just looking to f#4k and not much more, then NYC is perfect for them. There’s a One Night Stand on every corner, train platform, park, and public bathroom. LOL For those of us wit our shit “together” (for me that entails financial/living space/ employment, not so much baggage-wise) then we prefer something a little more concrete, LOL.
Well said brother!! I have stated this previously, but I will mention it again. I love this site and what it offers and has the potential to offer. However, the heavy and repetitive concentration on the feminine vs. masculine black men dialogue is becoming tiring. People can only like what they like. This is their lived experience. If we are into masculine brothers so be it. Our masculinity however does not trump the brother who is feminine. I sincerely believe that this site can offer so much more than this preoccupation with brothers who are not as masculine as others. At the end of the day we are attracted to the same equipment (back or front) we are all gay men, none greater than the other.
Thanks for liking the site but as long as I’m a contributor here, I will always talk about masculinity and black gay men. When the over whelming majority of gay sites and black gay sites ignore masculinity and deem it “problematic”, I will over compensate due to their non-coverage. No apologies.
Ocky
I think in this regard you are missing the point I made. I am quite aware that you are one of the founders and that you contribute valuable information that is of significant societal value. However, as one of your avid readers, I sincerely believe that the unintended consequence is the constant comparison to fem brothers as if they are less than. I for one is extremely proud there is a site that understands the need and the void that is evident for us gay masculine black men. You do provide a valuable outlet. However, I will say again, our masculinity does not trump the femininity of other brothers. We can talk and write about all the alpha masculine “stuff” as long as we don’t treat others as less than. To do so will be to cheapen what is so meaningful.
As a single dad of a 3 year old son, I would like to think that if per chance he grows up gay and feminine that he will be still considered a loved and valuable human. Much love my brother.
Will, Good points and points taken.
excuse me sir…problematic is my Cypher Avenue buzzword and I’d appreciate you not using it. Thanks in advance.
I agree that they are a hot couple. Of course I always tend to like a size difference between two people. Sam is so much bigger than his dude. yeah gets a lil porn going in my head lol…I could care less about their racial difference. I learned at a young age that attraction is a purely personal thing. What I like is probably not what you like.
If the parameters of the question don’t apply to you that’s fine. Not sure why folks are attempting to add more to the question instead of answering it.
Neither of those options work for me. I’m not into effeminate men and I find white men unattractive.
My hand.
LOL shut the hell up LOL
Truthfully, I would date the masculine white guy if I had to choose. I’m attracted to masculinity more so than a specific race. Luckily, I don’t have the burden of being famous and having to date a certain type of person to appease the masses but even if I was I would do exactly like them and date whoever the hell I wanted. My preference is masculine black men but I wouldn’t limit myself to that if a masculine guy of another race came along.
Nicely stated.
I’d become a priest and take a vow of celibacy..
LOL
I would choose the white guy in a heartbeat, no doubt in my mind about it. I would think at the end of the day as long as the chemistry is there race shouldn’t be an issue. To me that’s more important than if the guy I’m dating is white, black, latino, etc.
I lost count as too how many times I have ran into that type of Black gay dude in Seattle and the west coast at large. For whatever reason, flamboyancy is big with black and latino gays out west. I would still try to find a brother or another man of color before I dated the white guy. Maybe someone can suggest a study on why so many gay men of color feel the need to be flamboyant.
Good question, Sea206. I’ve always wondered myself, at what point in human history(and WHY for that matter) did effeminacy become equated with homosexuality. I mean, I have theories, but they only apply in certain cases. Overall I just never understood WHY Gay (for the most part) equals Effeminate (or vice versa). Like certain kids for example, even before they know what gay even is, they can display effeminate traits. Just something to think about.
Ocky
I am not sure that is a fair question. I know many black masculine gay men who are not attracted to other masculine men. If the brother is not “fem” they want no part of it. I once met a masculine brother who was exclusively attracted to drag queens. People can only like what they like, and be attracted to what they are attracted too.
There are brothers who will never date a white man be he an alpha male or not. I am not attracted to feminine men and will never date a feminine brother. It does nothing for me. I also will not knowingly seek to date only masculine white men. I am open to experiencing new ideas and understanding new peoples and cultures, but I would not specifically go searching for a masculine white man.
Neither. There’s been plenty of times where I’ll walk into a gay bar or club here in Dallas with countless “modelesque” white guys and I’ll walk right pass them with not even a second look. But an average to hot nicely dressed brutha walk by and I’m breaking my neck trying to see wassup ….. black men have such an undeniable charm and sex appeal and 98.99% of white men can’t compete. Every room I walk into, my eyes look for black men first, we just demand a certain type of attention and I enjoy it.
It’s no coincidence that we see more white women with black men, than white men with black women.
While I am more attracted to black men and haven’t dated anyone white in over 20 years… I would date the white guy in this scenario.
For me, I’m just not attracted to the OVERLY FLAMBOYANT gay male… of any race/ethnic group. I’m open to dating whomever I truly vibe with (ya can’t control who you fall in love with… if you deny it you could miss out a blessing) and I don’t have a type. I’ve dated men that were a little effeminate with no problems (I just have my limits)
First off, everyone questioning ‘what’ masculinity is needs to stop playing! Im so tired of guys who arent masculine trying to redefine what it means. Apples n oranges…and that’s ok. Fuck outta here.
As for the question, Joe clearly gets my vote. Yet, I do have to give some cred to what @straight_up was saying abt ‘whether or not he’d choose me’. I’ve been around long enough to know that anyone on my arm has a dime on their arm. But, like @alton said, even in big ol NYC, MOST white men arent as open minded as I am.
I was actually ‘peer pressured’ into goin out w 2 coworkers last night. One is white, and would def jump my bones if he was single, and the other is white/asian and, even though he denies it, he aint got no time for black men. But I found myself having to explain to the both of them WHY I didnt wanna go to the bar w them. I alrdy kno that Im entering a room where most ppl arent checking for me, off the bat. They want me to go, but they know they wouldn’t be down to go to the black gay bar down the street.
White privilege still exists, even for gays.
Im all for liking/loving whoever does it for you, but Im also not blinded by some thought that most ppl are as progressive as I am. That’s like the 2 wks where I tried jackd w the thought process of, ‘well if im on here trying it out, maybe there are others in my shoes’. So yea, that didnt work out so well…
@SB3000 – Did they drag you to “Boxers”? I’ve been there before a few times. Def not my fav spot. Only benefit I see from it is “relatively” cheap 2 for 1 and the smokin spot in the back. Other than that, if you’re anything darker than a Manila envelope, you better have a swimmer’s build, talk like a surfer, and refer to a “d$*k” as a “cock” or else nobody there is checkin on you. LOL I remember eye’n back and forth w/ this fly ass dude there once; tall, nice build, baldy Rican dude who my best friend kept pressurin me to talk to. Long story short, my friend broke out and me and homebody ended up sittin and talkin fe like 2hrs, vibed on everything. Then I noticed him look to one of the white bartenders and refer to him as “hot”, right then I knew this dude wasn’t in it for anything more than the convo. End story, he str8 up said (finally) “I don’t date black guys”. It is what it is, tho. It’s always nice to meet someone as enthusiastic about “Family Guy” as me. LOL! I’ve learned over time to look for “buzz” words and mannerisms with certain blk/latino/other ethnicity guys, that are pretty good indicators of what their prefs are. “Cock”, “Hot”, “Awesome”, and “No Worries” have yet to mislead.
You should fire the writer
Sorry but can’t be done 🙂
LMAO!!!!!!!!!! He must be a newbie. How he gonna suggest fire the writer? He must not know who he trying to handle.
For everyone replying “Neither” or “None of the Above”… my dudez, that wasn’t the question Ock posed. The question is which of the TWO, would you choose. And some of yous is a damn lie, because not for nothing if it came down to it that yous were the last THREE dudes on this planet, I GAH-ROWN-TEEE, yous would be all over the blanquito, either under or over, before you even would have a conversation with the “Fashion Queen”.
Thank You! Damn LOL. I mean if the question doesn’t apply to you or if you honestly cant answer WTF
Some dudes just feel the incessant need to voice their utter disdain of interracial couplings (like the heterosexual über-masculine male that feels the need to constantly validate his heterosexuality, even when the conversation has absolutely nothing to do with sexuality) and I get it, but not in this instance. Those types of answers have no relevance to the question you posted.
I’m not aginst interracial dating and I have nothiing against effette men but neiter are my cup of tea, and I am an older broter who have had many opportunities to indulge in both. People are allowed to be with who they want to be with, not saying that I don’t find it suspect sometimes but really isn’t any of my business because I’m not the one dating them.
I’m just going to answer the question that was asked. I’d date Joe Manganiello (Right). No explanation needed.
ACONNECTIONTV have posted a 7 minute video regarding this article:
@nick @ocky
LMAO Thanks for the link @africanking …What do you think about what he said? I think he kinda missed the overall point abt racial discrimination and focused on masculinity. But then again I think @ocky set himself up for this kind of response. I told him he should have picked 2 fem guys or 2 masc guys instead.
No problem! He can have his view but I was laughing at how he was mispronouncing Ocky’s name.
@African King, this was hilarious. @ocky can’t let this go without a response. Although I do agree with @nick that the two options were whack to say the least. If ocky was trying to make a point, and I know the point he was trying to make, he fucked it up by going to the extreme with the flamboyant black dude. I just knew people were going to attack from that angle and miss the point. I didn’t even bother to comment. LOL
He was kind of all over the place imo which made it hard to get his point…well he was clear that blk dudes are trash but…:shrugs: iono lol
LOL, the attack is typical but it’s all good. He is entitled to his opinion but did he answer the question?
Different question though; why is the go to insult by gay men towards other gay men is to refer to them as women? Is it me or does this come off as messy and effeminate? But given the source…
WOW! Thank you so much for posting this video, African King. I am so glad I finally have come across this because THIS explains EXACTLY what I’ve been trying to verbalize in some of my posts on the subject of interracial couples in the media and why I wish there were more prominent black gay couples. It’s not because I feel all the black men in these couples are self-hating it’s because of small minded people like the dude in the video. People like this guy don’t see a happy couple when they see an interracial couple they just see..
“a brutha who had to go get him a white man cuz black mens are trifling” *snap* *neck roll *snap*
People like that disgust me. I mean listen to him. The only quality he really even mentioned searching for in a mate was “swag” . He even showed that he makes snap judgements based on the superficial information just like how he completely misread the purpose of Ocky’s whole post.
That’s the unfortunate side effect of not having more black gay couples in prominent positions in the media. It just gives bitter dudes like this the ammo to keep spewing venom about black gay men without ever having to look themselves.
Yes. This. Trey, your analysis is very insightful and sound. Wish I could have said it myself. I will say that, if he keeps meeting black men who are “trash”, he has to realize at some point that he is the common denominator. Without fail, whenever someone makes broad or extreme generalizations about the all the men that they’ve dated, they are usually revealing (or talking about) themselves. From what I saw in this video, he’s not exactly a prize (as others have suggested :-)).
D*mnit Trey, your comment is definitely on point! You said everything I couldn’t quite put together in words when I saw the video, but I feel the exact same way.
Frankly, I think we should post Trey’s comment on this guy’s Youtube video.
Very well said, Trey.
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Trey, your response was on point and well said! xx
I agree with what you all are saying about him missing the point (by a wide margin). The article is so short that I am shocked by how off he was. I just had to chime, cuz that was crazy & disappointing.
Dear Folks,
For those that understood the content and context of the question cool. For those that didn’t, also cool. I purposely choose these two examples and the fact that some were able to answer honestly in my opinion shows nothing is wrong with the selections displayed.
That being said I (Cypher Avenue) will ALWAYS continue to ask and present thought provoking issues. Some may push buttons and others may spark dialogue. Nonetheless they will always be from a place of honest intentions. If one feels these intensions are offensive so be it. My goals are being accomplished because I’m (one dude on one website, with a mind full of inquisitiveness and wonder) causing people across different mediums to pay attention and discuss topics that I lay forth or that may not have been discussed in the first place. I don’t care that opinions may differ; I care that we are having open dialogue.
Thanks everyone for visiting and offering your feedback and opinions.
There are some guys who prefer a fem guy and there are those who prefer a more masculine guy to each it own, but for me to date a white guy he must have some soul and some swag not just because he’s “straight acting” other than that can’t fuck with it!!! and for the record Joe Manganiello is not white nor gay
This is a ridiculous question. Who cares who you date or love. Do you. The question is built on such fallacy that it borders on stupidity. Michael Sams may be masculine (I do not know him personally) but he gives the masculine vibe. However his boy friend, Vito, certainly gives off the feminine vibe. So this issue of masculine and feminine is debunked in your own article. I happen to know Derrick and he is more quasi- feminine than masculine. He can butch it up for sports but he can definitely let his hair down around his friends. He and Gerry enjoy each other. I am much more concerned about the age gap than the race or masculinity of either. There are plenty of masculine black, white, latino and Asian men. There plenty of feminine black, white, Asian and Latino men. What is your point? You like masculine men? Hooray for you! I do not think you need to denigrate one to uplift the other. I will say I liked your 14 couples post. I had forgotten about some of them. Just lay off the division and embrace and celebrate the diversity we have in our community.
whichever will treat me with kindness and respect.
Because you gave the example of Miss Lawrence, I would have to go with the masculine white male because honestly I don’t feel comfortable dating a man who wears heels or is hyper-feminine.
I have dated and am attracted to fem guys; however there are limits to the amount of femininity that I can tolerate for my comfort levels. And for me, Miss Lawrence tips that scale of uber femininity for me…
xx
Yes. Thank you! And why isn’t hyperfemininity among gay men a thing? The problems with hypermasculinity are obvious. But remember the “Mean Girls” of Morehouse? They were some very “extra” gay men proudly naming themselves after characters in a movie who were socially aggressive and emotionally/ psychologically abusive. It seems like people don’t care about the difference between a fem guy (that I would actually want to date publicly) and a hyperfem guy who is a hot ratchet mess– and if anyone comes to me complaining about the politics of respectability, I’m going to vomit.
And is it wrong that I am proud that I had to Google Ms. Lawrence because I didn’t know who he was?
Thank you for agreeing & seeing my POV. I think the reason why hyper femininity is not a thing is because of the “extra” factor. Even though its built on a stereotype, every one of these characters lives up to it. I, as you, have nothing against a fem guy because I believe that a man can still be a man despite his high voice and effeminate mannerisms; however for me wearing a pocket book and high heels is too much.
HAHAHA, no you should not feel any type of way for having to google Miss Lawrence. Honestly, its a shame that the BRAVO network chose him as a representation of what “gay” is…I often wonder if the BRAVO execs are sitting back having a big ole laugh at the situation, honestly. Xx
@JadoreNYC – They’re laughin’ all the way to the f#$kin bank. Speakin of BRAVO, sometimes I have what I call “Dumb it Down Sundays” where I’ll watch like 15-20min of RHWoA while workin on art projects, and this dude that does the reunion shows, the white guy Andy Cohen. Is this dude really gay? Feel like he’s some str8 dude Bravo hired to “play” a gay dude. LOL
@alton I couldn’t agree with you more in regards to the host, Andy Cohen. Many times I have mentioned to myself, who does this man think he is fooling? BRAVO is similarly doing what gay clubs do and hire straight strippers portraying to be gay just to gain the gay following and capitalize off our stereotype sexual fixations. Ohhh look at Andy, he is white, put together, semi-feminine, conservative in many ways..he is the new wave of what gay is to represent…according to BRAVO.
It’s just so sad and pathetic that every gay “sidekick” in all of these reality shows is some overly flamboyant gay male with an instigator-type attitude. It just pisses me off as America (holding tight onto their bibles) are saying this is why we refuse to accept homosexuality. But unfortunately, according to the execs, these type of “characters” are what make good tv and drive the ratings up…ugh! xx
In this scenario, you presented a choice between two things that many members had a difficult time answering. I’m not attracted to the effeminate overly flamboyant type at all. I also have a difficult time processing any attraction to white masculine men.
In my world view, most of the white men who date black men have latent mandingo fetishes that cause the hairs on my neck to stand up. I see all too often the effects of white privilege and the subtle and overt ways that said privilege affects all of us. All we have to do is examine how we have been sexualized and eroticized throughout history for the amusement and pleasures of white people. I find it disrespectful to the legacy of those African ancestors who had to endure the unwanted sexual acts of white people. Today, we can see similar traces in modern culture in various entertainment outlets.
While I can’t imagine either scenario, I would have to stay true to what’s in my best interest. I’m one man who believes in black love. I think it should be celebrated and portrayed as a viable option for us. When we as blacks can’t see our own beautiful qualities, we definitely will not be able to see it an another.
To answer the question, it would unfortunately be Lawerence for one date. I couldn’t see myself partnering with him in a relationship as his persona goes against most things I believe in and stand for. I thought long and hard but some European descendant could not satisfy my yearning for cultural…
I think it’s funny how you niggas parade Michael Sam’s effeminate boyfriend around on your site yet claim to not be attracted to or really into feminine men. You’ll find there is very little difference between heterosexual black men and gay black men, they have all these standards when it comes to dating their own but those will fly right out of the door with a white partner.
When did we have the meeting to decide this???
LOL yeah that was pure foolishness.
It is not foolishness. Black people in general do this, but especially black men, gay and straight. They will have all these stipulations when it comes to dating your own…yet will date other people’s trash, especially white people. Black men will dis a nice looking black girl for some fat white walrus and gay black men will more than willingly date a white man that really no other white men are checking for. You claim your site is really targeted to masculine men…yet you have Michael Sam’s lady in several posts, NEVER REMARKING about his femininity. You have not gone in on him being effeminate.
Thanks for visiting. Always feel free to provide your comments and feedback.
Much obliged. Sometimes you just have to keep it real. The truth is a hard pill to swallow for many. Peace.
Huh????
My point is smart one is that you silly negroes will put any white ass on a pedestal when white really isn’t checking for ya’ll. Michael Sam’s boyfriend is very effeminate, and they have been very quiet about it yet will go in on feminine black gay men. Same that straight black men will do…complain about fat black women with attitudes but will be silent and have no problem being with a white woman of the same degree.
Dude, please stop generalizing. EVERY black dude doesn’t put EVERY white dude on a pedestal. EVERY white dude isn’t out to “Fetishize” EVERY Black dude. With your logic, society can say EVERY black dude is a thug and hood and EVERY Black Woman has a fucked up attitude,is on welfare, and has 3-4 kids by 3-4 different “Baby Daddies”. I see PLENTY of fly ass black dudes in relationships with fly ass white dudes, same with str8 black dudes and pretty ass white chicks. Just like I see PLENTY of fly ass Blk/Blk, WHT/WHT, etc couples. Stop focusing your militant bitterness on the few who exhibit behavior that YOU (and some others) find “demoralizing” and then projecting those feelings on the race as a whole when there more than enough same race/ethnic couples roaming the streets. There’s ALWAYS gonna be interracial couples, if you and the other militants don’t like it, then you might as well stay indoors, otherwise you gonna lead a long, angry ass life, my dude.
Who said I had anything against interracial couples? I don’t. I am simply pointing out dynamics. If I see a good interracial couple that’s happy, then I’M HAPPY FOR THEM. But I am going to point out dynamics when it comes to some interracial couples and the double standards. The people of this site have pointed out ON MORE THAN A FEW OCCASIONS the femininity in many gay black males and how unappealing it is which is fine yet when it comes to Michael Sam’s white “boyfriend” they say nothing but congratulations, glossing over his femininity, something they’re often critical of in black men.
There is no choice for me. It is just how and unto whom my heart feels compelled to. The happiness that lingers with the one I call, ” friend “. To the one who is me and I am them. If you had looked into my heart, my life none of them dating men were ever the same. They brought me into the path of 2 long term relationships of 5 and 12 years. No matter to their character or my character how it was judged by others it was ” love “..natural, not a matter of a splicing choice like selecting fruits, clothing, some sort of item..just natural. It was always nice. I cannot think , rather feel a better life and love to live. To many choices further distance you away from the natural. Lots of choices, lots of judging, but I much rather be how my heart feels when I am with he or he is with me. When we are naturally together.
i pick Joe Manganiello