It’s finally 2016, the year that the United States of America gets a new President and Nick Delmacy gets a new Man. So I’ve decided to (somewhat) document my journey here on the site in a new series called, “Nick’s Adventures in Dating.”
I won’t go heavily into detail about the men or dates that I’ll go on throughout the year, but I will give enough broad strokes for you to get a sense of my progress or lack thereof.
Those of you who follow politics know how members of the GOP always say that President Obama’s low unemployment rate (currently resting at 5%) is full of shit because so many people have just stopped looking for work out of frustration that they’re not being counted in that low percentage.
That was me in 2015.
I purposely took myself off the market for various reason:
1: The Black Gay Dating Cycle is Typically Short & Stereotypical
Dating in Atlanta be like:
2: Many of the Gay Men In Atlanta Are Not My Type
I’m a simple man who likes simple things.
I don’t need my dude being a gaylebrity, a gay personal trainer, a gay web series actor, a gay socialite, a gay fashion label whore, gay Instagram famous, a popular gay bartender at gay bars or a well-known gay party/club promoter.
These are the types of everyday black men I’d ideally like to meet and date:
Here are the type that are usually available to me in Atlanta:
3: Meeting Guys is Boring and Repetitive
The process of meeting new guys can be really dull, repetitive and full of the same boring script:
“Sup? How you doing? Where you from? How long you been here? You like it here? What kind of work do you do? What do you do for fun? What gym do you go to? What are you looking for? Just friends or more? When was your last relationship? How do you get down?”
I know all of those questions are needed when initially getting to know someone, but if you’re texting, chatting and/or talking to multiple men in an attempt to whittle your way down to one, it gets old very quickly.
Some members of the Cypher Avenue Squad may think I’m cynical and jaded on dating and relationships. This is far from the case. I just keep it real.
Black gay men seem to want honesty from me when it comes to reviewing web series and LGBT musicians, but conversely they prefer for me to regurgitate the same positive-only fantasy about gay love, dating and relationships. Lying to them gives them hope, I guess.
But you know what, all areas of life aren’t fair. You want the world to be one way, but it’s the other way…
Being gay is gonna suck at times…Dating is gonna suck at times…Being black and gay and dating in a gay lifestyle that you don’t relate with is REALLY gonna suck at times. But this is the world and reality we live in.
Although I had to take a break from the gay madness, I know that I still want and need to play the game from time to time.
As many of you heard in our podcasts, I temporarily jumped back into the dating scene last year by joining non-gay-hookup sites and apps like OKCupid and Tinder. The results ended up with me being either shunned by black men for white men and/or being dragged along by gay men just looking for hookup sex or a texting buddy to “pass the time.”
This experience didn’t turn me off from dating altogether, it just let me know that digital gay dating may not be for me.
So in 2016 I will be going back to meeting dudes the way that worked well in the past: Live and in person.
No more hookup apps. No dating sites. No digital nothing.
Where will I be meeting these men if not the Internet and smartphone apps?
Fortunately for me, gay men exist everywhere. In grocery stores, at gas stations, in malls, in everyday life. I have friends who know other gay men. Gay men go to “straight” events, parties and functions. We’re everywhere. Especially if you open yourself up to non-black men (White, Latino, Asian-American, Middle-Eastern, etc), which I’m definitely doing in this go around.
Although this direct method opens me up to more in-my-face rejection, luckily I live in Atlanta where attractive gay men are like buses, miss one next 15 one comin’.
Having said that, excuse me, I see a handsome guy in the cereal aisle of this grocery store who’s just my type….
See you guys in the next update!
Feel free to ask any questions or share your own dating experiences in the comments section!