The 40 Most Awesome, Hilarious, Weird & Depressing Cypher Avenue Google Searches
Cypher Avenue is officially one month old! We launched our new start-up website on July 15th 2013 and have been more than shocked by the feedback and web traffic. To put things in perspective, it took over 3 months for our old website Discreet City to reach 200,000 page views during our most popular period. Cypher Avenue achieved that in less than a month! Whuuuuuuuuuut?
Not only that, we’ve seen a 50% increase in new readers and return visits. What does all this mean? Well, numbers trending like this continue to help us reach major advertisers/donators/sponsors to keep the site updated and porn-free. We owe a lot of that success to our loyal readers who continue to spread the word about the website with others through social media, text messages and word of mouth. Its all appreciated, folks!
So how do we know all of these statistics? Big Brother Google’s all-seeing-eye gives us the details, all the way down to what mobile devices people are using. Obviously there’s no specific information like names and addresses, but we do get some vital information that helps us know what kind of content people out there want to see more of on the site. You would be very surprised by some of the search strings people use that brings them to Cypher Avenue.
Scouring some of the Google search phrases, I both laughed at and felt bad for some of the people out there and what they search for on the Internet. So here are some of the standouts that led guys to Cypher Avenue this past month. Remember, these are direct quotes from what people Googled to bring them to our site, spelling errors and all.
1. “why are overweight gay men not desired?”
Damn, yo…I hope the site was able to help this guy. We haven’t really talked about body image too much but it’s definitely on our list of things to do.
2. “thug gangsters abs”
Ummmmm, okay. Not sure where they ended up but these links are likely candidates:
3. “discrete city”
Yo, I ALWAYSSSS HATEDDDD when people spelled it like that! Discreet and Discrete are two completely different words that mean completely different things! I guess its to be expected though. Now we have people typing “Chypher Avenue” and “Xypher Avenue” to search for the new site, lol.
4. “im gay, is there something i can take to be more manly?”
Short Answer: Nope. Its something you’re born with, homie.
5. “are the two playing tony and dave in tyler perry sitcom gay in real life?”
Hahahaha! People still think Octavius Williams’ fake Tyler Perry show Tony & Dave is being made! I keep telling him he should go ahead and write a screenplay and do it as a web series!
6. “where are the masculine gay men in nyc?”
If you have to ask….they probably don’t exist….I’m just saying…
7. “black gay web series“
This was unexpected. We somehow became the top Google result for people searching for Black Gay Web Series. This really made me happy because I spent a lot of hours watching and reviewing these shows. I may not like them all but I still try to help give the stand-outs some exposure.
This guy surely visited all of our informative articles on Dating and Sex.
9. “frank ocean naked”
Whoa, really….These photos exist?! Umm, send them to my inbox if you have them….lol.
10. “gay +dating +advice +can +never +find +a +masculine +guy”
First of all, you can tell this guy was a professional Google searcher by using the PLUS symbols in the string. He wanted to make sure that ALL of the words were in the web pages that came up. Turns out, I actually wrote the top two search results for this: The 10 Level Guide To Meeting Masculine Gay Men and the Top 15 Reasons That You’re Still a Single Masculine Gay/Bisexual Man
11. “15 reasons why gay black men are alone”
Damn, I must have the single, lonely, black gay man market on lock! Call me The “Undesirable Gays” Whisperer. Here is the search result for this one: Top 15 Reasons That You’re Still a Single Masculine Gay/Bisexual Man
12. “a life of an old gay in relationship with a discreet guy”
LMAO @ “Old Gay”…Damn, son. Really? I wonder what he considered “Old.”
13. “why are so many gay men single?”
Again, this was Nick Delmacy playing Jim Jones with my disciples drinking the poisoned Kool-Aid.
14. “anthony mackie nude”
These photos exist, too?! I don’t even like Mackie like that but I can be persuaded…I’m just saying.
15. “are there manly gay men?”
Besides the ones on Cypher Avenue? Nope….next question…lol.
16. “derrick l briggs ex-boyfriend”
Maaaaaaann….Let this man live his life! Stay up out his business!
17. “why do people think small men are not masculine?”
Hahahaha…I’m 6’2″ so I have no idea why people think this…Actually, I didn’t know people thought this at all. I love short masculine gay guys. They definitely exist.
18. “gay black masculine web series”
Unfortunately, The Chadwick Journals is the only “gay black masculine web series” we’ve seen in the two years since we started blogging. Its kinda sad but we’re tired of complaining about it now. But I’m sure there’s a dude out there somewhere right now hunched over a copy of Final Draft writing a masterpiece.
19. “am i the only gay guy who doesn’t like to receive?”
Whuuuuuuuuuut? LOL Yeah this was he-larious. No, you’re not…it may seem like it in the city you’re in, but you’re not. Maybe Cypher Avenue should start an “It Gets Better” campaign for Tops.
20. “gay i’m a bottom, would my top boyfriend like to be bound?”
Wait, what? I’m sure he was redirected to one of Ocky’s relationship articles for advice on this one cause I have no idea about bondage? LOLz
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