FIVE BLACK GAY WEB SERIES RECAPPED
Turns out the process of watching these shows was like shoving a hanger through my nose to pull out my brain. We’ve complained a lot about the state of black gay cinema, so I won’t go into bitching about the lack of action, thriller, fantasy, suspense science fiction or mystery stories in ANY of the web series.
Instead I’ll recap and critique each web series based on what they presented to the public. Their story, the camera work, the lighting, the audio, the acting and the directing will be analyzed.
Normal people don’t go to a restaurant, decide they don’t like the food and respond by taking out a bank loan to open their own restaurant to “do better.” Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch remember this, this is one man’s opinion. My momma never told me, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say it at all.” Because its bullshit.
Speaking of Mommas, let’s begin!
The things I do for this website. The web series Momma’z Boi (yes with a Z for no reason) was a chore to make it through. Bad story, bad audio, bad lighting, bad camera work and bad bad acting to say the least. Okay, call me a hater. I’ll wait. Are we done? Aight, let’s recap some of the episodes shall we?The show opens with a nameless gay boy (he’s obviously gay) coming Out to his older sister (but he’s obviously gay, no need). Wait, that’s supposed to be his mother? Oh, okay…No…but I’ll go with that for the sake of argument. This is supposed to be a dramatic scene between three characters: A closeted homosexual, his sister-mother and a smoke detector. Yes, a low-battery smoke detector makes a riveting cameo all throughout this episode.
The Sister-Mother is upset that her Brother-Son is Gay. Don’t worry, SECONDS LATER she is completely fine with it and begs her Brother-Son for forgiveness. We keep dissolving between cuts (for no reason) until we meet the nameless gay guy’s overly pierced best friend (not sure if the piercings are ever explained, they really should be). They end up making out and have sex, then they pillow talk about other men they’ve wanted to be with sexually. Wait, is this how Gay pillow-talk is done? I’ve been doing it all wrong!
At her job, Sister-Mother has a Gay best friend co-worker (of course she does, this is Gay World!) who looks very familiar. He’s handsome but it’s not clicking where I know him from. DING DING DING! I’ve seen his Dong! He’s a gay porn actor (I can’t bring myself to say Porn Star as I’m not sure what qualifies a person for the title anymore). Wait why is he acting so flamboyant for this role? Oh, that’s how he normally is? But isn’t he kinda “different” in the porn? Okay never mind, moving on. The Sister-Mother works in an office that looks a lot like an apartment bedroom. And Sister-Mother is also maybe Gay?! (of course she is, this is Gay World!) The Gay Best Friend Co-Worker (there will be a lot more of those mentioned later in this list, trust me) pops back up a few more times but his penis keeps upstaging him (his cock is typecast!)
Wow, us Gay men must go through relationships like condoms (well the ones of us that actually use condoms anyway). Skimming though more episodes we hit a lot of gay checklists: Gay Domestic Violence, Hookups, More Porn actors (I think…hard to tell when they have clothes on) and masturbation scenes (won’t be the last one in this article – Yes, I’m talking to you Freefall).
This show confirmed what Ace Rockwood told us about himself and others: Porn Models should just be seen and not heard.
Look, I understand that they didn’t have the budget to do a lot of things the “right” way, and I understand that they are trying to add creative content to the limited depiction of gays in television/film…but come on. As Patrick-Ian Polk said, I think we should aspire for quality and excellence if we’re going to represent for our community. This series…is not that. Wait am I supposed to lower my expectations because this was made for the web? If so, this is the lowest my expectations can go. Oh wait, keep scrolling below…It gets worse.
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