Occasionally we get emails and comments from readers asking us to write up articles about particular topics and issues. No other topic has been requested more than this Kerry Rhodes issue. For those that don’t know, Rhodes is a NFL player in the middle of yet another Black Gay Witch-hunt by MediaTakeOut, Bossip and TMZ. So to all the people out there who want to know what we think: We don’t care.True, we do have an opinion on whether we suspect Rhodes is gay but we have NO DESIRE to add gasoline to a gossip fire.


These types of stories don’t interest us at all. We’ve ONLY posted (maybe) two articles thinly relating to “is he gay” gay gossip in almost 2 years of blogging.What does interest us however, is the topic of Celebrity Gossip itself, especially when it comes to homosexuality. While we’re being honest, it really comes down to homosexuality and masculine men. VERY RARELY do we see tabloid magazine covers featuring “effeminate” men with the title, “IS HE GAY? JUICY LEAKED PHOTOS INSIDE!” The majority of gossip mongers love endlessly commenting on the lives of masculine men (straight or gay) because of the unknown, they can’t “tell” if he’s gay.“


He’s a complete stranger, he looks straight and didn’t PERSONALLY tell me he was gay, so he’s a deceitful down low liar!” they seem to be saying.

This obsession and fascination will never change until we finally break the stereotypes for what “GAY” looks like. One of my close friends is admittedly a little soft. He’s a great guy and even he admits that he’s not the most masculine guy in the world. Having said that, he came Out to his parents and they were totally shocked. When he told me the story I was like, “Really?! You’re 30 years old and you haven’t dated a woman in your entire life! They didn’t suspect even just a little?” He insisted that they hadn’t. What I eventually realized was that being from a small town, his parents only knew Gay from the flamboyant stereotypes. In their mind, anything less than that was Hetero.

For many people, especially black women, there’s a level of comfort with that thought. For them, its like any horror movie where the alien or monster can camouflage itself as a regular person. The scary gay person could literally be ANYONE if that attractive masculine man is a homosexual! Its safer for them to KNOW a person is gay just with a glance. This is why Usher’s ex-wife Tameka Raymond said masculine men should wear bright wristbands to signal to her that they’re gay. But why? Why do these Gossip sites like Bossip and MediaTakeOut obsess over the sexuality of men they will never be with sexually in the first place? The female and gay “queen” contributors of these sites don’t just share information, they pass judgment on the men they supposedly find dirt on. Why do so many people flock to these sites to see the latest dirt and suspect photos? As I scrolled through comments on these sites while researching this essay, I saw all of the disdainful and hateful comments about gay men.


What struck me was that these same black women quoting the Bible, claiming to be saints in God’s eyes while verbosely declaring the abomination of homosexuality are likely the same black women that many effeminate gay men admire. These black women LOVE their flamboyant hairdresser or “black gay feminist best friend” as they snap, pop and twerk while drinking cheap white wine together…but these women are likely the same women writing ad nauseam on the abomination that is the masculine black gay man. They wonder why masculine black men stay closeted, discreet or private as they wave their Bossip and MediaTakeOut sponsored pitchforks and torches.


Just for clarification, this doesn’t apply to all black women, or all women in general. That seems to be the other stereotype that gay men hate women, which explains why they’re gay. Sigh. No Baby-Girl, we Homos love you and actually understand the bullshit you have to deal with from us men. Like you, we’re trying to make our place in the world and find a little happiness along the way.


But again, I ask why? Why be so angry that a man of color out there is finding a different happiness than you? Are these bitter single women mad that someone else got a man but they didn’t? This often boggles my mind because, at current data tracking, homosexual men still only make up 10% of the population. Smaller than that if you exclude effeminate gay men since these women have no problems with them. That means that’s over 90% of the black men out there are still up for grabs, that’s more than enough for these women to choose from. Black women, you’re good. No significant competition coming from gay men any time soon.


Speculating on answers, one could gather that while the women have more men to choose from, the pickings are STILL slim since many of these men are whores, cheaters, convicts, deadbeats, uneducated, unemployed, etc. So when a gossip site commenting black woman FINALLY finds a “good man” and finds out he’s gay, that comes off as the last straw. Maybe it’s even interpreted as an attack against women in general, similar to the heat that successful black men face when they date outside of their race.
Once again, I ask WHY?! Even if all the “good black men” these women meet turn out to be gay, they still have more options since they could also date men outside of their race. When I see a white guy dating a beautiful successful black woman, no malice fills my heart. I internally give that Caucasian man props for getting a good one. The same applies to a interracial gay couple. Partly because I know there are MANY other available people in the world to date and also who’s to say that I would even be the black guy’s type even if he were single. There’s the rub though, these gossiping black women get all hot and bothered about the sexuality of a man who likely wouldn’t be interested in them EVEN IF HE WERE STRAIGHT!


So for the last time, I ask why?! Religion? Ohhhh, yeah religion…Homosexuality is a sin…The Bible says so…The Bible says a lot of things, a lot of horrible things when you really read it. Women are not the most precious creatures in the Old Testament if you really do your research.  Hell, in the first chapter women are brandished as the bringers of sin and sadness into the world. You remember Original Sin, that whole reason Jesus had to die horribly? That was a woman’s fault. Not really a good first impression if you ask me.


Including men offering up their underage daughters for sex to strangers, there are many more examples of women treated less than properly. So for black women to pull out one line from Leviticus as a reason that homosexuality is an abomination, yet ignore the rest, is hypocritical at best and just plain idiotic at worst.


Could an explanation be the Bully and Victim dynamic? Every group and sub-group feels like a victim on some level. If you’re a kid being bullied and you see a kid that you have the opportunity to bully, there’s certain power and a self-esteem boost that comes with that. This may be another reason why so many black women are so anti-gay. They’ve been bullied so long by white people and black men, they feel empowered bullying gays. Its a self-esteem boost. There’s someone lower than them that they feel empowered over. If this is the case, it is unfortunate because gay men could be a great ally to women.
No matter what I say, the “who’s gay” gossip culture won’t be going anywhere soon. Bossip and MediaTakeOut have the page views and social media followers to prove that. Especially when gay men themselves feed into it as well. Black gay men want to know “who’s gay” so they can get validation that they are not alone (you’re not, dumbass, lets move on) or so that they can use the “Outed” person for their own “he’s one of us” agendas (see Frank Ocean).


Also, lets face it, many gay men worship everything that women worship.  From terminology to fashion to music to penis…They are A-alikes in many ways, which is why so many women can love their effeminate gay best friend while simultaneously believing that masculine gay men are abominations.


If I’m being honest (yes, I have been so far), I have to admit that gossip is a way of life. Everyone does it. Some would correctly argue that men actually do it more than women. Even our friends DJ Baker and Ronald Matters “get into” the celebrity gossip thing and are admittedly very good at what they do. Its almost human nature to want to hear the latest dirty scoop, even if it’s unsolicited. I’ve never heard anyone about to hear some dirt say, “No, stop I don’t want to hear it.” Gossip is a way of life.


So where does that leave us here at Cypher Avenue? Haughtily rising above it all and remaining Gossip-Free?


Um, Actually….yeah.

Swerve, breh!