That morning I heard faint sounds coming from underneath a compartment in my boat. I automatically knew what was making the sounds; kittens. I opened the hatch and saw two dirty gray kittens. One was very loud and active while the other was curled up in a little fetal ball.

Even though I was a little concerned, I knew the mama cat would come back for them and went on about my day. As I got home hours later, I didn’t hear the sound of meow-crying that I did before I left. I looked in the compartment and only saw the one kitten still curled up in a little ball. I could see he was breathing.

Later that evening I was headed to a small gathering to watch the premier of Game of Thrones. I didn’t get home until around 4:30 the next morning. I got in the house and instantly my thoughts went to the kitten. I grabbed a flash light to go check in the compartment. Still there was the lone kitten curled up in a little furry gray dirty ball. I touched him and it was cold and stiff. Well, he didn’t make it. I went back inside to get a paper towel to gather it up and depose of it.

As I got ready to put it in a plastic grocery bag, its little back hind leg twitched in addition to its tail. I took my finger and rubbed its little paw to see if it would give a responsive reflex…it did. This little cold skinny kitten is still alive.

I ran some warm water in the sink and gently placed the little kitten in it. I begin to rub its sides and chest area to help stimulate and warm it up. No response. I begin to get a misty-eyed and pray to a deity I don’t believe in, to please allow this smelly dirty little kitten to pull through. It began to kick its hind legs and let out a loud cry…and it didn’t stop crying.

Being that it had been alone most of the day, I’m sure it was starving. In my panic, I attempted to feed it some almond milk…because that is all I had in the fridge. Kitty was like “Da fuq is this?” So I got online to research for suggestions and instructions. Come to find out a local 24 hour big box store carried cat milk…its formula for kittens. So I put the kitten from Stephen King’s Pet Cemetery in a shoe box with a towel and headed out at 5 am.

Once back home I’m thinking on how to feed him. I put the formula in a restaurant style condiment bottle and try to squirt a little bit in its mouth. Like some of my previous male friends, Kitty was not happy. I did this a couple of times just give it some type of nourishment. I continue to rub him with hand towel for warmth and stimulation. Kitty would not stop crying. I got back online for suggestions and found an article that stated, “just like most mammal infants; they cry when they’re hungry or when they need to go to the bathroom.”

Well come to find out, kittens need assistance to do this…sigh. The videos said you have to rub their genitals to help them go. Okay…so I hold kitty in one hand and take the cloth and gently rub kitty’s privates. His hind legs stretched out and he got real quiet. Sure enough, he did his business and it smelled awful, OMG. As I cleaned kitty up, I noticed a piece of the umbilical cord still attached. He can only be a couple of days old.

Still a bit tipsy, I put newspaper in the bottom of a Timberland box, put in a towel and place kitty on top. He shuffles and stumbles around shakenly for a bit before he settles down. I place a heater near the box to keep him warm. Its damn near 6 in the morning and I realize…

Just like that, I’m taking care of an ugly ass kitten. Lil Kitty McStinky.