Sorry That You’re Tired Of Hearing About Masculinity – NOT!
It’s no secret that the creators of Cypher Avenue are two men who are proud of our maleness and our homosexuality. It seems like some followers and non-followers are tired of us beating the drums of masculinity; or at least tired of us talking about it. It should be understood that CA gets new viewers and followers every day. For many of them, the point of views and tone of Cypher Avenue is a refreshingly new and unique experience.
The overwhelming majority of popular mainstream gay websites celebrate femininity and gender non-conformity and why not? The internet has more than enough space. Gays rightfully should be as free and fabulous as they want to be within the homes and cities they’ve built within Cyberspace. Not only do they have their spaces, they proudly and vehemently promote and defend their spaces. Good for them. The thing is that virtual “space” has a real world counterpart. The Gay Gatekeepers’ ideals and way of life (gay lifestyle) dominate almost every facet of the LGBT community. Where does that leave the outsiders, the fringe, or the masculine homosexual men who don’t necessarily relate to the mainstream LGBT establishment?
The majority of the time within the LGBT establishment our different points of view are not welcomed at the gay table. We eat lunch at the proverbial “not-cool-nerd” table. Our masculinity is usually only called upon when objectification and props are needed; like nerds being beckoned so answers can be copied from their test papers. Well at least two guys decided to stop complaining and take action. We took our aggressive opinions, our creativity and our spare time to create a space for like-minded homosexual gents to rest their hats.
As Cypher Avenue increases in popularity, we’re being challenged and mocked by some in the Gatekeeper community for our lack of feminine inclusion and lack of men of non-color. It seems the citizens that occupy 99% of the online gay real estate are not satisfied with their possessions. They’re being greedy and want more. They have accused Cypher Avenue harboring M.O.M.D’s; Masculine Opinions of Mass Destruction. The have attempted to launch preemptive drone strikes to force inclusion. Fortunately our missile defense systems are updated and operational.
Can you imagine men creating blog posts, Facebook groups, submitting Twitter comments and Huffington Post articles about how Cosmopolitan, Allure or Essence magazines need to be less feminine and include more male centric articles? Stating they should stop talking about female interests like beauty, cosmetic tips and what cocktail dress to wear; all because they are excluding men? We would think it at least odd, disrespectful and misogynist to the point of Feminist Blasphemy! As if women are not allowed to have a space just for them…the audacity.
Surprisingly, that is similar to the reaction and treatment Cypher Avenue receives from many of the gay populace Queer Studies elites. There are a handful of articles out there on mainstream sites the call us out by name. When we requested an opportunity for rebuttal on these mainstream sites, we were denied. Where’s the balance and inclusion? When the opportunity for discourse is available, our words, thoughts, opinions and links are deleted, blocked or banned. Yeah, you gotta love inclusion.
Countless Facebook and blog posts; Twitter back and fourths and message board conversations all because we created our own space that’s not a mouth piece for the mainstream gay lifestyle. Complaints about how we’re not all encompassing or a safe space for effeminate men and transgenders and that we talk about and obsess over masculinity too much. We’re patriarchal misogynist. Well fortunately for Cypher Avenue, no one is entitled to everything. They can have their opinions but for some reason we are not allowed to express our masculine leaning opinions, within our masculine space on the World Wide Web.
Cypher Avenue exists because The Gay Gatekeepers marginalized us. We escaped their feminine plantation and headed north. Once there, we hopped a plane and headed to a distant uninhabited island to call home. Here we took off our shoes, unfastened our belt buckles and unleashed our swag. Here, we can talk about the things no one else will talk about, without interference from male neo-feminists. In the middle of this island we built a Discreet City where like-minded men and the men, who love us, can lay down stakes for good, or simply visit for a little while. Cypher Avenue runs through the heart of Discreet City and its here that the founders (The Twin Kings) rule.
There is such a strong opposition to the idea of masculinity. The Gatekeepers scoff at the notion that masculinity can even exists in the biological sense. For the Gatekeepers, it’s all “Socialized”. Masculinity exists only because its taught and the push is on to blur the gender lines. It reminds me of a comment on a message board that I came across:
“Any innate traits of males and females are immediately dismissed. Assertiveness, independence, aggression, competition, hierarchy, physicality, boldness, and courage are manly virtues. To the feminasties those traits are what’s wrong with everything in the world and yet paradoxically they want women to act more like men, and men to act more like women.”
Masculinity should not be eradicated or defused. It should be celebrated and cherished. It exists as a part of the male aura. Cypher Avenue will continue to beat the drums of homosexual male masculinity and will be unapologetic in doing so. If you don’t like our tribe or our homo island, don’t worry, there is a whole gay world out there for you to enjoy.
hmmm. I have mixed thoughts on it only from a marketing stand point, but I will say as a not too masculine man I find the site more than accessible to nonmasculine men. But I’m also hard to offend so it could just be me.
“I have mixed thoughts on it only from a marketing stand point” I’m sure I know what you mean but humor me and expound on your thought.
Well I think it would be harder to build a LARGE following and attract a bigger base of new fans if the gist of most of the articles/essays are about being masculine. Sort of like a magazine like Golf Digest where everything is purely about golf. How many interesting stories could you come up with solely about golf and how many new readers would you get? I just think it places you in a smaller box, but if you want to be in that box there’s nothing wrong with it. I’m also not a marketing major so I could be completely wrong but that’s my surface thoughts on the issue.
How @ocky gonna ask me to elaborate on my thoughts…and then ignore me when I do?
LOL you elaborated…what else did you want from me?
your opinion on my opinion that you asked for.
HA…I’m sorry. Your opinion was a valid one and I see and understand your point.
Thank you. That’s all I wanted.
Ugh @hannibal is so needy, lol
and I’m still mad Lafayette didn’t make the list. That glaring omission I’m sure caused a lot of eyes to roll lol.
If you had your way, Xavier from FREEFALL would have been on the list.
….I’m not under the delusion that the character/actor was great….but if you were doing a post about sexiest gay characters he would be up there. Just use a picture with the headband on.
LOL for some reason I don’t mind a receding hairline, makes the man more “real” and not perfect…you seem to dislike balding me though…But we’re getting off topic, which is against the rules I made myself, smh
I don’t dislike balding men. I just prefer either bald or full head. An awful receding hairline demonstrates to me that the man is in denial and if he’s in denial about that I don’t know what else he’s in denial about and I ain’t got time for it.
Well, I really enjoy being apart of the CA tribe. It is a comfort to read relate-able content.
Thank you Sir and we are more than happy to have you!
I keep trying to engage, not for their fellowship but to help them understand our POV. But I’m learning (too slowly) that its fruitless.
At the end of the day, many of the detractors are the pseudo-intellectuals screaming about gay civil rights before and after they post images of erect penises from their shirtless social media profiles.
Oh well. I’ll stick to Cypher Avenue, I tried.
The powers that be are white masculine and largely gay or have indulged in some sort of homo sex.
Black ,gay and masculine = threat.
I think CA has/is the alternative to other gay websites. It’s not pop music all the time… and Game Of Thrones is actually a hit TV show. But I somewhat agree with @Hannibal , maybe cause I have been on the site for a while and have got the message @Ocky and @Nick are trying to get across. I also get though, why reinforcing the message is important, especially for new members.
Finally!!! I get it!!!! I get it!!! I swear I get it.
Personally, I don’t have an issue with being “pro-masculine” however the problem comes in when being masculine is looked at as greater and being feminine is looked at as lesser.
No one should be told they are less than because of who they are.
That is borderline discrimination and/or prejudice and its not fair to feature stories against these types of things when the site promotes these types of things against feminine males.
That would be like someone who is a drug addict having an issue with someone who is an alcoholic.
That doesn’t make sense.
There is nothing wrong with being proud of who you are but when your pride creeps over into arrogance that is where the issue comes in.
I agree with this 100%…HOWEVER the problem is I don’t think it applies to this website…
We’ve never claimed that being masculine is better or greater than being effeminate…All we do is celebrate the masculinity in ourselves and others. It’s what we are attracted to as gay men and we feel it shouldn’t be against the gay rules to say that.
Is it our fault that effeminate gay men feel attacked just because we publish a list of 13 Black Gay film/TV characters that doesn’t feature an effeminate man or transgender? No…we’re not here to represent everyone in the gay community.
What if we don’t like RuPaul’s drag race? What if we don’t care for Beyonce? Why is that automatically considered attacking fem men? We felt that masculine men and masculine interests were underrepresented in the gay community so we have to overcompensate sometimes just to balance everything out.
I am not implying that this website does that because honestly for the short time I have been here I have not seen that but I have seen some judgmental and discriminatory comments in regards to feminine males which really shouldn’t be.
You also ever notice that the white gay community don’t seperate themselves over issues such as this?
Why does it seem like the more we are trying to become one (black people in general) the more we find a cause to fight against unity causing more division?
I guess I wasn’t raised to seperate myself from people based on things like this but I can’t judge others for how they choose to live and do.
That is because the white gay community has more balance and representation; however their websites still are predominantly fem centric.
and that is what it is all about: balance. Honestly, I am just as entertained by this website as I am by BRAVO’s Fashion Queens. But I personally think some of the flack you received from the 13’s list was because people of color are still so poorly unrepresented in tv/movies just in general. White actors get nominated for Oscars for playing GLBT characters (which of course causes them to flock to those type roles) while the majority of black actors (esp. the men) avoid GLBT roles for fear of speculation into their own personal lives. Your website is like Esquire for black gay men (love it) but you do have to consider some of your members are bisexual (into women also)or are strongly into effeminate gay men and/or transsexuals and want to see them mentioned when you list excellence in the entertainment field.
I think the character list got a lot of flack because it did come across a little spiteful, especially the exclusion of Lafayette. Love it or hate it he’s a real gay iconic character yet characters virtually NO ONE but the author has ever heard of were included. I think it just came across a bit contemptious although that was likely unintentional.
No, Lafayette’s character was left off of the list of 12/13 because his role eventually became a shell of what it used to be. He became a model stereotype of what we already see on reality shows. The characters chosen were men that are seldom paid attention to because they are more complex and less flamboyant. Even you mentioned that Michael Boatman is always ignored. One critic of the article said Michael Jace’s character from The Shield shouldn’t have been included because he was “boring.” That’s the problem, loud and flamboyant doesn’t equate to complex and original.
*sigh* ok.
Ask yourself why gays don’t take the mainstream gay websites to tasks for not featuring more voices from masculine men? Why is it that most gays see any mention of the word “masculine” as a threat?
I don’t think feminine dudes see the word masculine as a threat but doesn’t it make you feel some type of way when people see you, look at you and treat you as less than?
Masculine gay men would have more respect in the gay community if masculine gay men acted as though they wanted to be a part of the gay community.
How many times have you seen the words, “straight-acting?”
What is “straight-acting?”
I’m 36 years old and I yet have no clue why any grown, mature gay man wants to be telling someone they are “straight-acting.”
That sounds to me like the dude is having an issue with just being a gay man.
Why try to “act” straight?
Then to add on top of that there are gay dudes claiming to be “bisexual” in order to cement their claim of “straight-acting.”
We always can’t blame the feminine dudes for how they feel.
Wouldn’t you feel some type of way if someone always treated you as you were less than?
As a LONG TIME member of the site and someone who is admittedly more on the fem side than the masculine side of the spectrum I honestly have to say there is definitely the occasional tone of contempt for the feminine gays. Not all the time but it definitely rears its head from time to time.
Hold up…I don’t want to be a part of the gay community because because it’s simply not a play that suites me. I thought this post stated that. “Straight Acting” is non feminine or flamboyant. It’s a term used for “regular” non fabulously gay men to describe themselves. Sorry but as a masculine man…I get it.
Wow, really?
Okay.
Well, I did think this was a great website but its typical faggotry.
I will not be a part of this.
Thanks for the invite but no thank you.
I don’t agree with discrimination nor prejudice from anyone.
WTF…okay…where you got discrimination from is beyond me but is all good. Thanks for visiting.
LOL…right. I’m pissing off all the gays today LMAO.
LMAO…let that easily offended negro take his luggage and go…All you said was that you understood the term “Straight Acting”…He calls us typical but he was the first one to use the “F” word, not us…Fuck him. If he can’t discuss an issue civilly then fuck him and his sensitive sensibility.
Not only that it’s complete bullshit that there is not a divide in the white community between masculine and fem men as he stated. That is primarily what the whole “Gay Bros” issue was last year.
Wait a minute. He didn’t even leave. It still says 623 members. He’ll be back. LOL. Seriously, what exactly was said that he took so personally because only a sensitive person would respond in such a way when they weren’t even being attacked. Well like @Nick said, the gloves are off and old Discreet City is back. Boom!!!!!
Let’s face it ,the white man has always put the “female” ,be it physically or “psychologically ” out front.
Willie Lynch anyone?
The female on command, will not have her position upstaged. Threat threat threat!
I feel that the main reason most feminine guys feel “some kind of way” about masculine guys and masculinity period is because we remind them of the bullies, and all the other negative people that may have scared them. Some people hold grudges, and tend to have an adverse reaction to anything or anyone that reminds them of that negative experience.
Yep…there it is. Mos def a part of it.
Paragraph 4, name names! lol j/k The funny thing is, I bet those same sites that criticize the masc and MoC content on here would tell you to go start your own site if you complained about not seeing enough masc or MoC content on their site. Always funny how that works.
Ha, between the actual sites and bloggers its quite a few. Plus I didn’t want to give them any promotion or focus on them. Nonetheless I will say I thought it was foul that Huff Post allowed a post about us but would not allow us to offer a rebuttal or a response. I believe they knew our rebuttal would go against their gay narrative.
This is exactly why some of them dislike us: They admire the fact that we’re doing our own shit with our own message and its actually reaching a large amount of people.
Yes I may be a little tired of this masculinity discussion! lol But you guys made this website for this very reason, to represent for the masculine gay/bisexual guys who are the minority in the gay community. I think there are two things that irk me when it comes to feminine guys hating on masculine men. It really bothers me when they think that masculine men are putting up an act and that they are pretending to be masculine. I guess for a lot of feminine gay men they probably haven’t encountered a lot of true masculine gay guys so they just assume that all gay men are feminine. Even if they haven’t come across many masculine gay men why is it so hard for fem dudes to accept masculine guys for who they are especially when feminine guys want everyone else to do the same for them?! What also bothers me is how so many feminine guys preach about freedom of expression and how more people need to be more understanding of who they are as gay men, yet when masculine gay men want to express their masculinity they quickly criticize and denounce them. It’s annoying how hypocritical they can be smh. They are so quick to call out folks who don’t show them respect, yet they won’t show masculine gay guys the same respect. It’s like who made you so entitled to demand respect, but not show others the same?
Yes…everything you said!
These guys ever figured it may just be their time of the month? or probably just should change their pads? haha. I love when they think being “gay” is being feminine. I just figured gay was who u wanted to share ur bed with or who u fall in love with. didnt realize “gay” was a lifestyle choice. (end sarcasm)
Do they forget that most magazines, blogs, and websites do their best to cater to a very specific target audience and that they don’t have it in the forefront of their agendas to completely please everyone? Honestly, if they feel excluded, simply leave. There’s something out there for them — a lot for feminine gay guys actually. Limit it to being an opinion and let it be that. Taking the time to criticize or try to degrade something just because it doesn’t include you when it’s not in its agenda should be tiring and is really telling of their characters, which shows so much insecurity. As long as it’s respectful, (in my opinion, it is) let it be. Besides, do they think that GQ or Ebony would change because someone was so-called upset? Why should CA be any different? Keep beating the drum as long as y’all feel the need to. (End mini rant.)
I have always felt as though many gay sites assume that if a man is masculine that he is somehow “faking the funk”? As if masculinity is a bad word while most bottoms ESPECIALLY BLACK GAY BOTTOMS only want masculine men. Words like “hyper-masculine” are thrown around as if men are not supposed to be masculine. MASCULINE IS THE NORM! For a man it should be.
I’m not surprised if there is a disconnect. I have also noticed since I began reading this site that there seems to be an undercurrent of we vs them mentality which is not good either. I am usually considered by straight guys to be “soft” and therefor many straight fellas find me acceptable. (As pathetic as that sounds). I’m definitely not feminine but nobody is going to confuse me with the homeboy crowd either. If honest, there is a subtle disrespect in general towards feminine gay men from “Tops” who are “topping” them. And I think that carries over to a masculine top vs feminine bottom stereotype that amplifies this entire divide. I notice prejudice within myself as I would still put a masculine straight male in a different category then a masculine gay male (My own dumb neurosis).
I just think we all have to find away to respect each others differences without making the other feel less than or like false representations. I don’t agree with everything said on this site but have found it to be a great and necessary voice in the black gay community. It would do us all well to remember that to the…
First, I’ll say I frequent this site because it’s one of few that raise some of the ideas I think about often as someone who has at times become overwhelmed by the gay lifestyle as a whole. I’ve been overwhelmed by the “fems” just as much as the “mascs”. Tops just as much as bottoms/versatiles. As a whole im confused as to why – in a world of subjective perceptions – things have to be black or white. I’ve always been one to present myself, well, as me. That’s regardless if I’m conscious about how my voice sounds or swagger comes off to the observer. Some say “I would have never known you were gay” and I come across some who aren’t phased nor surprised by my being a SGL brotha. I don’t deny either perception. I identify as queer because I don’t rule out possibilities nor stuck myself in any of these socially constructed boxes that most rely on. So when it comes to the commingle asked question on gay social media, “are yu masc or fem?” How can you truly answer this without asking the inquirer about their perception of either role. I personally believe anyone with an X chromosome has some feminine mannuerism at least at some point in their life which someone can perceive. It’s genetics. Yet, it’s a black or white concept in the gay community without acceptance for any grey areas. Much like the ideas surrounding bisexual men typically labeled as confused or insecure about being gay. Leaving room for ambiguity tends to open minds. The universal gay standard seems to idolize the alpha male yet outside the subculture the feminine gay is portrayed as “the typical gay”. These are problematic as any other failure to embrace diversity.