Cypher Ave co-founder Nick Delmacy sent me a link to a podcast he wanted me to listen to. This was a podcast featuring three gay men discussing a multitude of pop culture topics. The reason he forwarded me the podcast cast was because Cypher Avenue was mentioned in a segment on the show…Cool! While listening and scrolling through their website, I was caught off guard by their tag line; “When Eight Inches Is Not Enough.” I chuckled and thought to myself, it isn’t?

In the past we have seen penis shots featuring Chad Johnson, Shemar Moore, Shia LeBeouf, Terrence Howard and Chris Brown. In 2014 a host of NSFW pics and links exposed a couple of male celebs including Roy Jones Jr and Benzino of Love & Hip Hop. These pics were either released by jilted ex-girlfriends, mistresses or just because the male celeb wanted some publicity. What followed of course were comments about their, um…members. Regardless if it was the old pics or the new pics, viewing the comments on social media and message boards were pretty much the same. The adverse comments from gay men ranged from “Is that it?” to “I thought it would be bigger.” All the while I’m viewing these same pics and I’m thinking to myself, “These dudes like fine to me. What am I missing?”


What really shocked me were some of comments around the latest NSFW pics of David McIntosh. I’m personally not a huge fan of tattoos because I feel they can distract away from a person’s natural beauty, but that’s just me. They’re not by any means a deal breaker. Nonetheless, I think McIntosh looks fantastic…package and all. Yet there were some (not a lot) of the same comments from gay men that I have seen before expressing disappointment and meh concerning dude’s package.

To add a little bit of TMI (too much information) for context, I’ve been with a wide range of men. All body types, sizes, complexions and penis sizes. Guess what, I had great sexual encounters with them all regardless of their Johnson size. For me (yes I know it’s a personal preference) being over eight inches was not a predetermined requirement. It has me pondering the minor or major obsession when it comes to gay men and penis size? Is one possible cause for this x-rated adult films?

I recently saw the documentary Unhung Hero streaming on Netflix. It’s about a guy who proposed to his girlfriend on national television; she rejects him on the spot to the shock of the audience and viewers. He later found out the reason she refused to marry him is because she stated he had a small penis…Ouch! So this leads him to travel the world seeking out different penis enlargement tactics and techniques.

On one of his trips he stops in Papua New Guinea and meets an indigenous New Guinean who offers to enlarge his penis via injections. When the protagonist inquires when did penis enlargement or injections become popular in New Guinea, the man replies “when we got internet and was able to view porn.” So for generations (possibly thousands of years) a society of men was comfortable with their penis sizes but by seeing larger penises via pornography changed how they now view themselves. For me this blunt and honest revelation was fascinating and is possibly shining a light on a type of dysfunction concerning men and how they view their penises.

I feel its common knowledge that men including gay men are very sexual. Sexual imagery, visualization and fantasy all play a part in our sexuality and what attracts us. So it’s easy to understand the appeal of pornography and the visual appeal of large penises. However like most television shows, Hollywood motion pictures, rap music and video games, it’s all fantasy. I know I may be a gay anomaly but for me penis size is not in my list of top 20 qualifications I look for in a partner. I’m not saying I don’t think about it, I’m saying for me it’s not a major requirement. Nonetheless there may be that large portion of gay men who have included “must have large penis” in the ever growing list of predeterminations and qualifications for their perfect man; even if they themselves don’t measure up. The reality is that most men regardless of race will be average.

Being that many gay men grumble about how hard it is to find dates and find love, why add additional superficial layers and limitations to your prospects?