WEB SERIES REVIEW: Steel River
First off, props to Steel River for quickly establishing characters and conflict. This is drama writing 101. We know whats at stake in just over a minute. Secondly, I wanna confront this idiot Dexter who sends PINK FLOWERS and a card that says “With all my love” to a closeted (supposedly) successful singer IMMEDIATELY after he gets off stage. Save that shit for when he gets home, dummy. There are rules to this shit. Please tell me that the next scene is Terry saying all that. Nope. Its a commercial. Wait, what? We’re doing that now? In a Web Series? I already can barely hear your audio and now you’re making me watch a commercial? Oh wait, two commercials?! Patience, tested. Woo-sah.
The acting gets worse as we cut back to Terry’s storyline where he’s confronted by the “mainstream R&B group’s” manager with photos of him and Dexter lip-locking. The manager demands that he leave the group, claiming that his sexuality would destroy the group’s brand to fans. Then Steel River ironically makes us listen to TWO MINUTES of a Frank Ocean song. Do the filmmakers know that Frank Ocean is a REAL LIFE gay singer who came Out to his fans and became MORE popular for it? In this post Frank-Ocean society we’re still doing storylines like this where the opposite happens? I mean, even Kaldrick King came Out of the closet! The “D.L. musician” thing is played now, Steel River. Let’s shift gears.
The next episode starts with even MORE Terry scenes. Props to Steel River for giving their weakest actor the most scenes. That took balls. Anyway, Its Terry and Dexter doing what all normal hairless, pretty, light skinned, slim, gay men do: lazily smoke weed in bed while discussing their relationship. Terry is still stressed about being a gay “mainstream R&B singer.” This storyline will be stretched out forever, trust us. Its all they got. Okay, now we meet some more unrelated characters. Kadoe and Rontae. Yes these are real names, they exist somewhere in nature, they are not just made up, they really exist, pay no attention to that man behind the curtain, the Great Oz has spoken.
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