CA Podcast #54 – The “He Only Looks Good From The Neck Down” Episode

By Cypher Avenue | Posted May 23 2016 | 19 Comments  

CA-podcast54

Brehs, we present to you a new episode of the CYPHER AVENUE PODCAST where you’ll hear us give updates, engage in heated topic debates, interviewing interesting homosexual men of color and us verbally adding on to the articles posted on the website. The episodes will be available in four ways: You can listen to them on the site, watch on YouTube, download a MP3 version or subscribe to us on iTunes or YouTube for automatic updates!

In this podcast, hosts Octavius Williams and Nick Delmacy discuss if Long Distance Relationships can work and if Masculinity & Personality trumps Looks & Superficiality when it comes to dating.

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CYPHER AVENUE PODCAST #54

 

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Cypher Avenue

Cypher Avenue is a direct response to the lack of a single website on the Internet catering to gay/bisexual men that love hip hop, pop culture, video games, sci-fi and mature, open minded conversations. Topics ranging from sex, sports, movies, new tech, science, fashion, comic books, politics, working out, hip hop, booze, television, cars, the outdoors, geek stuff, dating, and relationships; you name it, we have it.

   
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19 Comments Feel Free To Join The Cypher.

  1. alton
    alton | May 23rd, 2016
    0

    lmfao Funny, I was just walkin to the Post Office and saw a dude with some NICE ass pecs but was thinkin his face looks like a brick. smh

  2. ColumbusGuy
    ColumbusGuy | May 23rd, 2016
    0

    Once again…agreeing with Ocky. Nick…? well….um….smh.

    Strangely the people I have loved I did not even really like when I first met them, and I did not find them really attractive-I did not really even think about them like that.. I was kind of stuck with them by circumstances or convenience or whatever…and was around them…and once I got to know them, started liking them, etc. and then when things developed, they became that 'most desirable person in the room'-at least to me. I would rather then have seen their face than any model's face. I was looking but kind of not really looking. I guess I was just 'open' to something coming my way.

    I almost think it has to do with your mindset and your timing than the person themself-it was the right time whether I was ready or not and somebody was going to be that person. Of course sometimes they don't respond(really sucks) or you don't respond to them(really sucks) but them is the breaks. Maybe I am just weird lol.

    I don't agree with the list thing, I like the 'general quality' kind of thing…just widely general things that reflect what you think is a good person maybe? I also never thought that finding a wide variety of guys attractive was 'having low or bad standards'…I actually thought of that as a blessing really. Also when I meet someone the first thing I usually do is see something that I like. Whether it is nice eyes, nice smile, nice hair, nice body, etc. I always notice something I like first for the most part.

    A lot of this stuff discussed in this podcast is just kind of foreign to me I guess. I feel kind of sorry for NIck and his lovequest lol(ok not really sorry..just baffled maybe lol). I hope he is extremely good looking(probably is..damn him) to have those standards he has. I remember him( I think it was him) talking about searching and wasting his 20's looking for something that did not exist? Is history repeating itself? Not judging..just wondering.

    *Nick still seems like a great guy and all…but I just found myself wanting to groan or facepalm a lot during this podcast.

    :snoop:

    But who knows, maybe he will meet his Mr. Right tomorrow? Ya never know.

    And again, this makes me glad I am over and done with this topic of dating.

  3. grownman
    grownman | May 23rd, 2016
    0

    @ocydub. Who knew:

    :childplease:

  4. mojoreece
    mojoreece | May 23rd, 2016
    0

    I have to agree with Nick on the whole face and looks thing. No matter how great a dude is if im not attracted to him sexuality and his face we cant be in a relationship. Like Marchane Lynch and his the face; seems like a great dude but hes not my type of dude a lil too hood for me. I could not continually look him straight in the face. But bless his heart for giving to the kids in Haiti.

    I find myself guilt of the whole texting thing. Its just so mush easier to text with the invention of emojis, and the ability to send pics and other media through text. I hate being on the phone with some one and there is awkward silence. When im on the phone Im kind of straight to point then "ok great talking to you goodbye (click sound)" lol type of person.

    The whole long distance thing. I dont know if I could do it especially with me not having that much dating experience. I need to be able to roll up on ole due unexpectedly in person and be like " just wanted to say I love you! and I was around your way….so SUR-PRISE BEA!" lol :fredo::franko1:

  5. ColumbusGuy
    ColumbusGuy | May 23rd, 2016
    0

    So if the guy is good looking in the face what about his body? You will take him and them make him your project and make the guy hit the gym? lol.

    This face thing makes me think of(can't remember the poster) and the line 'his face dis-pleases me':mjlol::heh:

    *hates on people who are hot and seethes with bitter jealousy towards those who can afford to be shallow! lol*
    :sucka::scust::ravetho::nopekid:

    Age is gonna get you all! Mother Nature is a bytch and Father Time is a cruel twisted fucker.

    f**k. fucker. does this thing let you say fucker? why yes it does! fucker fucker fucker mother fucker!!!!

    • Rico
      Rico | May 23rd, 2016
      0

      Age is going to get us all, but I'm going out like Sir Ian McKellen. That's my senior gay role model. Every time I see him, I hope to be a cool old dude like him. I aint going out like Oliver Sachs the neurologist, i.e. be celebate for 40 damn years, finally find a dude in your 70s, then drop dead a couple of years later from cancer.

  6. Rico
    Rico | May 23rd, 2016
    0

    I see face-to-face and phone calls as primary communication and texts as supplemental in a relationship. Texts are for making appointments, jokes, reminders, etc. Anything else needs to be one-on-one. Not as hung up on looks as Nick (being on the possibly beauty-challenged side myself, depending on who's judging). As corny as it sounds personality goes a long way. As an old man once told me, "even a wino got enough sense to look past a label to see whay's in the bottle." Lol Personality…and hygeine. You can look like shyt, just don't smell like it. As for long distance relationships, it's not as if LDRs are usually permanent like a marriage. Just have to be realistic about physical desire. Best to keep the relationship open if distance is involved.

  7. SB3
    SB3 | May 23rd, 2016
    0

    I KNEW this mofo was talking abt my boos Charlemagne n The Game! Hateration.

    For real tho, @Nick Delmacy u sat there and called them all kinds of ugly, and associated their looks w base model regulars down at county. Yet, when @Ockydub brought up Van Jones, you said, 'he's articulate'. For someone who is so hell bent on being physically attracted to a dude, u should be the 1st one separating physical attraction and mental stimulation, and recognizing that they can very well be mutually exclusive. Unfortunately.

    However, I def cosign w Nick on the looks thing. I 100% ride w Ocky when it comes to masculinity being just as important, but attraction is relevant and NOT superficial. If Im not attracted Im not attracted, n thats exactly why I support and endorse grown azz men who didnt wake up yesterday to see what everyone else sees and stay in their lanes. Ijs. Doesn't mean that ppl cant bring diff strengths to the table, but stop playin.

    I noticed that in this podcast Nick said he likes dudes w a lil edge/manly appeal, but at the same time, said he's open to fem guys (which I don't believe), but being such extremes, I wonder how that works.

    Marshawn Lynch is a hard no…

  8. Nick Delmacy
    Nick Delmacy | May 24th, 2016
    0
    Rico

    Not as hung up on looks as Nick (being on the possibly beauty-challenged side myself, depending on who's judging).

    Just to clarify, I said that the other dude doesn't have to be a model…just be attractive to me.

    • Rico
      Rico | May 24th, 2016
      0

      It's all good. I was listening on the freeway during a long drive, I missed the details. Now that I'm offroad, I'll give it a second ear. But I largely agreed with you. We all like whatever we like, we just need to keep in mind everyone's got their own definition of appearance and we should respect that in each other (i.e. that "what does he see in him" b.s.). "One man's meat …" and all that. For example, I can't stand tats at all, which a lot of other people might think, so what. I'm always thinking, "why'd he fuk up that fine body with graffiti?" lol. Other than that, for me, "appearance" is a sum total not a discrete (or discreet) variable; it's how he carries carries himself and the attitude.

  9. Nick Delmacy
    Nick Delmacy | May 24th, 2016
    0
    SB3

    I noticed that in this podcast Nick said he likes dudes w a lil edge/manly appeal, but at the same time, said he's open to fem guys (which I don't believe), but being such extremes, I wonder how that works.

    There you go equating fem guys with being meek. This is not the case for all soft and fem men.

    For Example: One soft dude I recently dated (the tiny-bite french fry eating guy) was a fitted cap wearing, rap music enjoying, urban intellect. Def had some edge…too bad most of his edge was in the form of feminism. So we parted ways.

  10. SB3
    SB3 | May 24th, 2016
    0

    Nick DelmacyThere you go equating fem guys with being meek. This is not the case for all soft and fem men.

    For Example: One soft dude I recently dated (the tiny-bite french fry eating guy) was a fitted cap wearing, rap music enjoying, urban intellect. Def had some edge…too bad most of his edge was in the form of feminism. So we parted ways.

    That shyt is all ancillary. Not putting dude into said box, but I KNOW that u alrdy know how many queens walk around in fitteds. Ijs, if a dude is fem, he's fem. N thats fine. I def champion being urself. Im not saying he was twirling down the street. Just that, at the end of the day, I think u might be trying to be 'responsibly/socially pc' or something when it comes to dating, as far as that aspect. If u like dudes who will drive that car w u, it just doesnt make sense 'on paper' that a softer dude would fit that bill. Ijs. Clearly, I cant speak for u, but I call bs.

  11. BlackguyExecutive
    BlackguyExecutive | May 24th, 2016
    0

    I was really thinking about y'alls attraction comments. Call me vain or whatever but I think the vast majority of the men I had a relationship with have been on the attractive side from extremely good looking to very pretty. I also dated an androgynous man before too. I have always felt like I was the more average looking person in my relationships. However, the most attractive people I have gone on dates with or been in relationships with didn't work out because they were either all looks with nothing behind the skin or too vain.

    On the flip side, I take pride in my appearance now and do the things necessary to take care of my skin and dress well. I have to actually thank my very first boyfriend, who was markedly my most feminine boyfriend for putting me together. He basically introduced 19 year old me to that dapper lifestyle. He was always fashion forward. 10 years later, we are still friends and he is always willing to send me over a few pointers and ideas with respect to the latest trends. In all honesty, outside of my husband now, he was the only man that I have dated that paired equally between brains, brawn and beauty. My husband calls him "Mr. One that Got Away" but I call him "Mr. Great but it wasn't our time." We broke up because he moved to California and then NY to pursue his fashion dreams. I couldn't do long distance.

  12. ColumbusGuy
    ColumbusGuy | May 26th, 2016
    0

    I have thought about this and think maybe I was a bit harsh. Everybody has things they want and give varying weight to and as long as people are open and honest about it that is ok. I think SB3 gives more weight to masculinity and would be ok with a 'less facially gifted' guy if the masculinity was on point, and Nick gives more weight to the face and looks and would be willing to compromise a bit on the masculinity and at least consider maybe an 'in between' guy if the other things were there.

    There is nothing really wrong with that and everyone has things that are important. And I think I was neutral at the very least on the people I dated and such. I have to admit I probably could not be with someone I found repulsive-the people I did not like and then ended up liking really were not judged at first on looks because I did not think of them like that, but if I had, they would not have fallen into the 'no way' category.

    Looks are really subjective anyway. I tend to not be/have been that attracted to a 'pretty boy' face-I would be more attracted to ruggedly good looking types or unconventional 'good looks' types-more than the 'pretty boy' Which is not a problem now since at this age there are no more pretty boys lol. I also tend to be/have been attracted to guys who other guys don't even find attractive at all. Again it is all subjective. And by attractive I mean yeah, there are guys who are great looking and I can acknowledge that, but that does not mean I would have wanted to date or be in a relationship with them based on that-some are just the kind to admire a bit and then keep it moving actually. They are not really attractive except on a very superficial level.

    I am going to remain 'open to things' rather than 'no dating/relationship/celibacy stuff. I guess I have changed my mind. As Omega said, I don't think I really want large pizzas and dying alone lol. No harm in 'being open' to new people and new things.

  13. Nick Delmacy
    Nick Delmacy | May 28th, 2016
    0

    BlackguyExecutiveCall me vain or whatever but I think the vast majority of the men I had a relationship with have been on the attractive side from extremely good looking to very pretty….I have always felt like I was the more average looking person in my relationships. However, the most attractive people I have gone on dates with or been in relationships with didn't work out because they were either all looks with nothing behind the skin or too vain.

    This…All of it…

    Add to that, I'm kind of a jealous type…even worse, the internal jealous type…Like, I won't SAY or DISPLAY that I'm jealous, I'll just assume a lot of stuff in my head and self sabotage a lot of interactions. Doesn't happen a lot, but I have accepted that it does happen within me, lol.

  14. SwagJack
    SwagJack | May 28th, 2016
    0
    Nick Delmacy

    This…All of it…

    Add to that, I'm kind of a jealous type…even worse, the internal jealous type…Like, I won't SAY or DISPLAY that I'm jealous, I'll just assume a lot of stuff in my head and self sabotage a lot of interactions. Doesn't happen a lot, but I have accepted that it does happen within me, lol.

    Same. Did it to myself a few years ago. But I think that internalization and over thinking ended up being a two way street.

  15. Nick Delmacy
    Nick Delmacy | May 28th, 2016
    0
    SwagJack

    Same. Did it to myself a few years ago. But I think that internalization and over thinking ended up being a two way street.

    A two-way street in what way?

  16. SwagJack
    SwagJack | May 28th, 2016
    0

    Nick DelmacyA two-way street in what way?

    We were both drawing false conclusions about each other's actions and what they implied. But he had a lot of trust and religious issues that ultimately stood in the way of us going further though. Too bad, because otherwise we were a good match.

  17. DJ Baker
    DJ Baker | June 17th, 2016
    0

    I still would love get your podcast on AllDigital.. DM me dude.. 😏✌️




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