Question Of The Week: How Far Would You Drive For A Date?
You are out one weekend at a Sports Bar and you met a really interesting guy. You establish that he is dating/relationship material. In conversation you find out he lives out of town and drove up to visit friends for the weekend. His trip time by car is about two and a half hours. You both agree to exchange numbers and go from there. After a couple of weeks of conversations he invites you to his town for a date. Money is tight and gas is expensive, so what to do?
If you are interested in a guy; how far would you be willing to drive to date him?
OckyDub
Octavius is the co-founder and editor of Cypher Avenue. He understands ten (10) years ago is a short-long time.
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For me living in NYC, I wouldn’t drive outside of the 5 boroughs but I’m open to meeting @ a location that’s convenient for both of us!
This actually has happened to me. I wouldn’t go on the date there if my funds are low, but when they do get right I would take a day trip and see how things play. I think these things could last if there is vision and communication. For instance in my case I had a long distance relationship with someone for almost a year and we would travel 4 hrs. 2-3 weekends out of the month. The problem that came in on my situation was that you can’t remain long distance forever. So when the relationship does mature and I would say you must have the discussion of where the relationship is going and who is going to be the one to be willing to move when the time is appropriate.
Some could possibly consider 2-4 hours as not being long distance. They may view long distance as New York to North Carolina. Just a thought but I feel you.
Oh this was a easy one, we meeting halfway… *shrug*
Oops, my fault… glitch in the Matrix… But while I;m here, you splittin hairs Ock, we all know if it aint within a 30 mile radius almost every dude gon call it long distance! lol
You wait until a $ isnt so tight, n then u go visit. You said, ‘relationship material’, so i say, w that being so rare, u give it a shot.
Ok, ok, ok! So I had to go back and re-read the full post. I didnt interpret 2.5 hrs away being for a ‘date’. I assumed this was a visit, like for a wkend. U have a hotel room, dude shows u around his city, n yall have a good time. I didnt know yall meant driving 2.5 hrs each way for 1 nite! Im not doin that!
I remember how Paris Prince and the other guy (first gay black couple in JET magazine) said they drove six hours to see one another every weekend or so. I’m pretty sure that which ever one did all that driving is very happy now. I think I would do it. I don’t know much about relationship besides what I’ve read and what I’ve been told but it could work. The love (or strong interest/like) has to be strong enough.
Yep…I thought about that while writing this. They both were in school I believe while the commuting was taking place.
I’m actually in this kind of relationship now & because money is tight sometimes we Skype and when the money good we visit each other. I will say its hard even tho were not that far away I would like to spend more physical time with him.
Is it Deja vu or weren’t we just talking about this on the Stream a little while ago @Ocky? LOL. I would do a long distance if it was clearly a connection when me and dude first met. I’ve seen it happen personally. But I guess there has been more success when the two meet in person first instead of meeting online. Considering a lot of gay men complain about the Shallow Dating Pool in their cities, it seems like more would be willing to date guys from other cities. At least they wouldn’t have to worry about being with a guy that all of their friends know or that has been shared around town.
This profile pic of yours still makes me laugh.
Well you know I don’t look like that. LOL. I’m going to change it tomorrow.
I know lol. But the picture still makes me laugh. Sheesh.
No more than an hour and 30 minute drive for me. Anything beyond that is not dating material.
….and wth is going on with that stock photo? lol
Oh this was a easy one, we meeting halfway… and we going dutch on whatever we do… *shrug*
Honestly, if the time is right I would make the money right to go on a date. I am 26 years old and never been officially asked out on an official date so I would drive to Mars, if possible, and the time is right. The question was how far would you drive for a date instead of how far would you drive for a relationship. I am not willing to close myself off to any possibilities because I am TIRED of being single.
Out of curiosity have you ever done the asking or suggesting? Just wondering since you stated you would like to date..
Thats what I was wondering?! I know ‘date’ is a dirty word w gay mofos, but never nsa attached drinks or a movie?!
Im about to get all yall gay married off cus Im tired of hearing grown ass men say how they’ve never had a real ‘_______’ (fill in the blank)!
I would drive 20 minutes…TOPS!!! Driving an hour or more for some Nicca?! Seriously? Oh No No No, Fuck Dot!!
If he’s not in the military and you don’t live in the same metropolitan city as your “boyfriend” or “dude”…that’s not a relationship, that’s a pen pal with benefits.
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Fine @Nick. Stay dating them broke busted dudes in the ATL. Pretty soon, you are going to have to start recycling dates like Coca-Cola cans. LOL
Dear CA audience; please don’t believe the bill of goods that Nick Delmacy is attempting to sell.
Go on, keep teaching these dudes how to be chumps and suckas.
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LMAO…going on 5 years and counting jerk #Istayboodup
Imma need you to read…You both live in the same metropolitan city, doesn’t apply to what I said.
but we stay further apart than 20 minutes (which is your cut off time) what kinda shit is that? Stop playin
I said that’s MY cut off time, but for everyone else I said a dude who lives in another state or city metropolitan is really just a pen pal. Let’s be real.
@nick since we both live in ATL lets put this in perspective. Say you live in Gwinnett would you date a dude who lived in say ClayCO? Or if you lived ITP would you date someone who lived OTP like Conyers?
@Nick I can’t with these gifs! So freakin hilarious like where do you find them? I gotta start putting these on my status updates on cypher comments! LOL
Yeah man, do it!
Depends on where I live. On the whole, I am not traveling outside of the city (metropolitan area) limits if we just met. Can’t put a time on it because traveling from Upper Manhattan to BK can be over an hour. It just needs to be reasonable for both parties.
true story..mofos act like 1 dude in harlem n 1 in brooklyn is a long distance relationship!!
@ocky thank u..pls keep gettin ur mans @nick together! (still cant wait til his big gay island wedding) but i aint got NO time for his damn gifs today!!
It is my prediction that @nick and @hannibal will be getting gay married one day LOL.
I would ever date any dude on Cypher Avenue. You niccas are homophobe closet cases. LOL.
*Scooby Doo Face* I like nice guys. Nick appears to be the opposite of a nice guy.
If @nick wasn’t a nice dude, we wouldn’t be friends.
I can think of a dozen black gay content creators that would say otherwise.
LOL well I know him personally so fuk these weak ass black gay content creators.
Damn..@ocky n @nick – yall deal w alot of hate..i knew it, but when its written like @hannibal just mentioned, i wonder what yall get that we dont see. I won’t even go into a diatribe..cus yall got this…
Man this is is a good question, hmmm the max that I would drive to go on a date is maybe 30/40 minutes, no more than that. If I have to drive 2 hours to go on a date I would pass, that’s way too far for me, especially if my money is tight. I say this now but hey maybe I’ll meet a guy that will make me change my mind about this lol.
Yeah if your money is that tight where you can’t drive more than 20 minutes considering all the traffic in Atlanta, then being single is possibly your best lane. Because sometimes getting from Downtown to parts of Buckhead can easily take you more than 20 minutes. Sounds like a very shallow dating pool to create for oneself. LOL
The most revealing thing about this thread is 99% of you base travel time on where you and the other dude lives. Meaning: How far would I drive to get to his house? That is not a date!!! That is a hookup!!!
From where I live, It takes me 20 minutes TOPS to get anywhere worth being considered a date spot (SportsBars, Movie Theater, Restaurant, Open Mic spots, etc). If I’m driving 2 hours just to go on a date with a dude, then driving 2 hours just to get back home, I’m a sucka. That’s 4 HOURS OF DRIVING!!! FOR A DATE!!!
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A date is not a relationship. For a relationship there is such a thing as “geographically” undesirable and the same is for a date. What is reasonable depends on the circumstances. Gay men often do not have second or third dates. With that being said, I am reluctant to go more than 45 minutes for a date/engagement. At 60 miles an hour, that means about 45 miles and that’s stretching it. I am reluctant to go more than 20-30 minutes because guys tend to be flakier than the Pillsbury Doughboy and they tend to be flighty. What looks good at such a meeting as mentioned often times turns out to be “Fools Gold”.
drive? are you kidding me I once flew to my lover every other weekend for 3 years straight…..DAMN FOOL I WAS 🙂
ONLY if we’ve been talking/video chatting for several months, plus we’ve discussed a plan for where this could possibly go in the future such as if he or myself plans to move in closer proximity to the other in the near future (for reasons other than a relationship). I’ve always considered myself a “road warrior” as I’ve frequently driven 9 to 11 hrs to return to my birth state or head to New Orleans, so I’m game for whatever. But for a date though, anything over 4 hrs will require a flight (which I would not be paying for) and I will need lodging accommodations outside his home ’cause I definitely don’t get down like THAT with someone I’m just meeting in-person for the 2nd time.