My other-half and I were having a candid conversation about sex (as we often do) and the topic of being honest about sexual experimentation came up. He said pretty much all of his male friends and acquaintances (regardless of their current sexual orientation) have experimented or “messed around” with the same sex when they were younger. Some examples of “messing around” would be dry humping groin to groin or groin to backside, play wrestling with erections, measuring or comparing penises, shared or mutually masturbating and fellatio.

These activities could have taken place with brothers, other relatives, or friends. The point he made was that if men were more open about their sexual exploration and experimentation that they partook in when they were younger, views about homosexuality would be more relaxed and less rigid. This could lead to less men being in the closet and less men having destructive regressive sexual dysfunctions. I disagreed.

I think its common knowledge that many children explore each other sexually, not for sexual reasons but out of curiosity. Isn’t that what “playing doctor” was all about when you were younger? I think adolescent sexual exploration and experimentation is not a true crystal ball or indicator of what one’s sexual orientation will be when they become an adult but is a part of fulfilling youthful sexual curiosity…which most psychological professionals will tell you is natural. In my opinion this is why statements like “it’s just a phase” or “you will grow out of it” are made by parents and authority figures when teenagers and young adults discuss their sexuality (homosexuality).

In their minds eye and logic; as you get older, you should know better and therefore do better. Being sexually attracted to the same sex is a phase that is a byproduct of being a mischievous kid or a rebellious teenager. Kinda like stealing candy, smoking pot, or a white girl dating a black guy to make daddy mad; it’s something to grow out of as you mature. This societal mindset in conjunction with religion, insecurities or rigid sexual views are some of the reasons a lot of adult men would never admit to their youthful sexual inquisitiveness as not to be labeled “gay” or a “homo”, even though as an adult they fall within the heterosexual side on the sexual scale.

What are your thoughts? Do you tend to lean towards my old man’s mindset on this topic or do you lean towards old Ocky’s logic? Is this a chicken and egg type scenario?