This has been a long time coming.The gay mainstream websites and blogs are full of posts from bloggers and editors about “NO FEMS NO FATS” being listed on online dating (fucking) apps. These bloggers and editors feel rejected, offended and outraged.

My gloves are off and my rant is on and it begins with WHO GIVES A FUCK???

I think I have a motto that is befitting of me and I will begin to use often.  It is “My analysis usually takes multiple paths to come to a few conclusions which can literally translate to “my thoughts being all over the place.”  I will try to keep it together.

There are many dynamics circulating here.  There are rejection issues, bullying issues, body image issues; self-esteem issues…issues upon issues upon issues.

I want to deal with the dominate “issues” that I think are at play.


First, I don’t understand why some effeminate men are offended that some men are not sexually attracted to them.  If I have “NO FEMS” on my online hookup account this is a problem to you…why?

If I was still dating, I would have on my online profile…”not interested in fems”.  So what?  Who the fuck am I that if you were fem you should waste your time on me?  I am just one homosexual dude out of the many gay and bisexual men out there.

Ignore me and move on!

Why would you want to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you?  Better question is why are you offended by someone who doesn’t want to be with you?  Am I missing something?

If a man is not sexually attracted to effeminate men how and why is this problem?  It seems like fem men are offended that a potential sexual or life partner has been eliminated from their personal candidate pool.  Sort of like the way some black women are offended and put off by masculine black gay men.

But the thing is…effeminate men are still having sex!

The Kerry Rhodes situation proves that there are plenty of men who want and are attracted to effeminate men.  So why waste time and energy on men who don’t want you, when there are plenty of men who do want effeminate men?

Personally I think this has to do with the fear of rejection.  Believe me I empathize.

Out, gay and effeminate men may have been rejected early on by their family, classmates, and social groups.  Now as an independent adult they now have to deal with the rejection of another gay man not being attracted (sexually or otherwise) to their effeminacy.

Second, rejection is a part of life…but it gets deeper and bigger (yes, pun intended).

At least every other day on gay and non-gay websites, there are articles about people who don’t like homosexuality or are anti-gay.  Its constant and confusing.

Why do people (websites) who are gay or gay friendly spend so much web space, time and energy on individuals or groups who don’t like them? Versus featuring, fostering, nurturing and given web space to individuals and groups who do support them?  I don’t get it.

If a man has “NO FEMS” on his online profile, move on. Forget him.  Focus on the man who will sex you down, befriend you and love you in all your effeminate glory.  Focus your time and energy on this man who wants and accepts you like you are, instead of the man who only wants masculinity.

There is a certain “victimhood” that exists amongst the feminine gay community when it comes to life and dating. Yes I know masculine dudes are just as if not bigger victimhooders (yes dammit I know this is not a word).

Breathe Easy…There are plenty of men who love and enjoy more submissive or effeminate men.  Learn how to focus and enjoy them in return and not waste your time and outrage on the “NO FEMS” dudes.  Think of it as their loss and another man’s gain.

The same goes for these publicity hound websites that constantly feature televangelists, political pundits (mostly republican) and the religious followers who don’t approve of the homosexual lifestyle or who are anti-gay.

Stop giving these people more publicity and a space at your table! The more you high-light them the more publicity they receive and the more popular they become as your adversaries.  In the process you may be causing more harm than good for your cause.

NO FATS (this will be quick)

Why…because I will echo much of what I already said.  Actually no I will not.  Just read again what I stated above.

In summation, there are plenty of men who like and love heavier, non-muscular, non-six pack, non-zero-body-hair men.  If a man has “NO FATS” in his online profile, FUCK HIM.

Move on to the next dude and don’t waste your time, thoughts and energy on some non-tangible entity that exists via the internet.  You and your time are valuable.  Don’t waste an ounce of outrage on some guys you don’t know who may be hooking up with someone else by the time you are texting and tweeting to your friends your outrage.

I am tired of gays feeling they are empowered because they are outrage by trivial nonessential bullshit. Your life should be more important than messages on dating apps.

Stop buying and feeding into the gay mainstream media hype and selective outrage.  Think and question for yourself.  If you sit and accept you don’t know what’s correct or incorrect.

As far as the dating apps go…Fem and Fat dudes, say to yourself;

Yes Fems, Yes Fats, YES SERVICE…and keep it moving.  Do you and get your life!  Hmmm…That sounds like it could be on a T-Shirt.

Feel free to leave your feedback.