Question of the Week: Black Men and Gay Marriage
The Question Is;
With the numerous and disproportionate issues we have effecting the black community, do you think black homosexual males care about marriage equality?
Please share your thoughts…
In all honesty NO, from what I’ve seen in the black gay alphabet activist community HIV-AIDS seems to be the #1 issue being addressed. Activism in the gay community is a numbers game, when you need large crowds to demonstrate that’s when a a hand is reached out from white activist. You would think that they would have learned something after everything that went down with Prop 8 in Cali, 77% of voting black voted for prop 8, causing Dan Savage to go in front of the media making an ass out of himself by trying to blame the passage on the fact that the majority of black that did vote voted to pass it, not once was an effort made to go into the black community and explain exactly what the effect of the bill would have, same thing in North Carolina. if you want the average black voter on your side you got to go to them and explain exactly what’s going on, unfortunately that wasn’t done. As far a gay marriage that not an absolute priority
I personally care about it but find that black SGL males don’t care about it at all. I understand we have so many issues going on like Omar has said, but when is there not any issues going on? The issue of gay marriage is in the front of the line now and I see no problem with working on that issue to make it better while working on the others.
The issue of gay marriage is pushed down in the black community period is because of the homophobia black people already have greatly. We as black SGL man can try to say we are for it all we want but if you don’t think it isn’t a priority then u don’t really care for it do you? Everything that means something to you is a priority so one of my priorities includes gay marriage, as well as equal rights, education, jobs, and the growth of our black men. It isn’t to much on the plate because it all boils down to EQUAL RIGHTS and CHANCES for ALL People.
I find in my opinion that black people is like religion. They can talk about how bad stuff is but want to depend on somebody else or something else to do all the work. They spread hate and try to cover it up with love because of there need to be accepted by all. They hate on there own kind (like churchs putting down other churchs and religions) trying to gain control over something they can’t control anyway. At the end of the day people are going to do what they do but it is the bravery of a person that people respect. Being brave in no way means to down another and treat them they way you don’t want to be treated. I find that black people and other minorities that been threw the same hate and same struggle to get equal rights are not supportive.
So yes gay marriage should be a priority because there was a time when black people couldn’t marry each other or other racist. With black people still going threw a lot of the same struggles as SGL man and woman they should care. That goes for all people who knows how it feels to be treated as not human. So if you want to be an activist be a real activist and see we are all fighting for the same things so stop separating it.
So even if you agree or disagree what I said let’s just look at this as what it really is. We all want it and that EQUAL RIGHTS and CHANCES that we as human beings deserve.
I think we are all capable of dealing with more than one issue at a time. I don’t think this is something that we should just push aside, especially with the momentum that this issue currently enjoys. Personally, I don’t think I would ever get married, again…to male or female. But for those whom this issue is paramount, I am in support of gay marriage.
I think we can all invest 2-3 hours a month sharing our opinions, or going to the polls or even helping in campaign if ever one should develop. Just because we are broke and sick shouldn’t preclude us from participating in the movement…IF you are in support of it.
Black gays males are concerned about gay marriage, but I dont think that its at the top of our list. With so many brothers out here with HIV, kids facing homelessness, and the church perpetuating lgbt self-hate we have a lot of issues. Not that we dont desire the option of marriage, but lots of us are out here struggling with other issues. Hopefully marriage rights will promote positive changes in these other areas as well.
Right now, I could care less about marriage…to anyone. I have so many other things going on with and in my life right now, thus marriage is not high on my radar. However, while I feel this way, I realize that this is where I am now, I also realize there they may be some who are existing in different spaces and such, believe that if one of my brothers wants to marry another, why the hell not? Its equality, and its just as simple as that.
I have an enormous amount of faith in my brothers and am confident that there are those among us who not only crave the right to marry their partners, but will excel and have successful marriages. We may not all care about it, but I’m hopeful that we are all aware that it goes beyond us, because there is a couple, somewhere, who wants to be married and THAT is why we should care.
I care about marriage equality very strongly. But i’m pretty biased since I am Gay and Married. I just believe that everyone should have the same rights and be treated equally.
I believe that SOME black gay men (and I have come across a few) do not believe in marriage equality because the majority of black churches say that it is a sin. Now whereas I live in a state where gay marriage is legal, I personally would like it to be legal countrywide.
I’m just seeing this. I don’t think a lot of black gay men care about marriage for a lot of reasons. 1) A lot of us were raised in the church and have been indoctrinated to believe that how we live our life is already wrong let alone add marriage onto it 2)I think that in general marriage is on the decline in the black community so of course to the gays it’s just not a big deal.
I don’t think that black gay men really care about marriage equality. Most of the them that I know could not really care less about this issue because they can not see themselves marrying another guy in the first place. I always saw marriage as the last step to any relationship. If I found somebody that I was really in love with of course I would want to get marry them. I think it’s weird that black gay men don’t see themselves marrying another guy. If you can kiss, have sex with, live with, etc. with another guy but you do no see yourself marrying one then that’s really stupid. I think that black gay men should definitely care more about marriage equality.
I don’t pretend to speak on behalf of all gay black men but I will speak on my experience. Since I have been with men, I’ve noticed that a lot of brothers are ill-equipped in the relationship department. They find it easy to hook up or even start a relationship but lack the skills to sustain it. So from what I’ve experienced, we need to step our relationship game up.
I do believe that we are glad that there are some states that are granting the right to marry but that’s not our primary focus as many of the comments allude to. I’ve always said that black gays do not have a platform. It seems to me that the only sense of community is that we all are into men. Outside of that, I don’t know what WE want.
Black gay activism has stopped only in the fight for HIV/AIDS awareness and that’s it. Many of them (not all) fail to look outside of sexual behavior as the vehicle to address the issue.
I only responded to this because its an issue that has hit home with me personally. This is a topic that I discuss in my own home and I’m on the fence about it. Personally, my feelings on marriage in general are not like they were when I was younger and fantasizing about marrying a woman and starting a family. The change occurred because I believe society is truly embracing co-habitation in lieu of marriage.
I would love to see this cypher pick up some steam…even though I came to it late.
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I believe we all want equality period in all aspects in life. But as much I am concerned with marriage equality, I am more concerned about the economy, jobs, how we treat our elderly, medical beneifts for everyone,young children, young black men commiting crime and in prison.There are plenty of issues that need to be addressed but right now I think there are other pressing things to tackle besides marriage equality. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to get married one day but right now, America is in bad shape and we need to take care of home.