While in the supermarket today I saw these three magazine covers and had to ask The Squad:

Which of these 3 very different types of dudes would you date if he was gay? lupe

Remember, we’re talking DATING, not just for sex….

I’ll go first…

Let me start by saying that superficially, all three men are very attractive. twist But how I imagine they would be as gay boyfriends is another matter altogether.

While “Gay Dwayne Johnson” would likely be a Total Bottom (which works for me), I also imagine that he would LIVE in the gym, making him a very inattentive boyfriend. He’s so into fitness that there would be no room for date nights full of junk food and alcohol (very important to me) and he would be limited in conversation topics (also very important to me). Also, he would likely be an abusive borderline alcoholic, forcing me to tell my boy Ocky Williams that my bruises are from me accidentally falling into doorknobs. Ain’t no way I’m ending up diagnosed with Mary J Blige Syndrome after dating “The Gay Rock.”


Now “Gay Michael B. Jordan” is def my type physically, but while I imagine that he would probably be Versatile Bottom (which still works for me), I can’t help but assume he’d be one of those young messy, stuck-up, conceited, entitled homosexuals who has been Out and gay clubbing ever since he 16 years old. He looks like he would be the type of gay dude that LOVES DRAMA! He probably wouldn’t be faithful and all of his “best friends” would be people that he’s fucked in the past. “Gay Creed” is not about to have me calling my boy Ocky Williams to cry about how some young hot boy dude keeps waving red flags as I constantly refuse to break up with him just because he’s so cute that I can’t stay mad at him long:





That leaves “Gay Idris Elba” who, I suspect, would be Versatile Top (which only marginally works for me). Don’t ask me why I think that, I just look at him and think “British Top with only occasional bum play.” But I gotta admit that out of the three dudes, he looks like he would be the best boyfriend. Not only would he be an attentive lover, he looks like the whole gay clubbing scene is long in his past, if he ever had that phase at all. On top of that, he looks like he would love a dope conversation, laugh at my bad jokes, suffer through watching my nerdy TV shows and movies, support me with my personal goals and just be an overall good dude who willingly enabled my clingy intimacy addictions.







Who of the three men would you choose if he was Gay and why would you choose him?