Top 10 Ways to tell if your Straight Facebook Friend is Actually Gay/Bisexual
The infamous CYPHER AVENUE LIST returns with a little inspiration from Frank Ocean. Ever since he came Out (or whatever the fuck that was), I’ve learned two things:
1.) If people already like you (or your art), finding out that a Masculine Man is Gay/Bisexual is not as life destroying and career ending as it once was perceived to be…Frank Ocean’s album debuted on the #2 Billboard 200 spot with no signs of diminished sales and his Twitter follow count sky-rocketed to over a million. Being masculine and Gay seems to not be that big of a deal anymore.2.) Once they find out a guy is Gay, most black homosexuals will claim to have known the whole time. Our Discreet City timeline was full of tweets exclaiming that it was obvious Frank Ocean was Gay since he had supposedly been dropping subtle hints since the beginning of his career. Yes, they actually said this. “Hindsight Gaydar” is what I call it.
So if you’re a discreet Gay/Bisexual man out there looking for a date, looking for a fellow discreet masculine SGL friend or just looking for an indication that you’re not alone in your immediate circle as a SGL Masculine Man…Here are the top 10 ways to tell if that cool, attractive Facebook friend that you cyber-stalk regularly is actually a fellow discreet Masculine Gay/Bisexual man as well.
Let the Gay witch-hunt begin, Joe McCarthy style!
No…what matters is Frank Ocean is supposedly both brilliant & courageous (especially now that we know he’s Gay).
Remember, professional photoshoot proofs posted by male models are not what we’re talking about…we’re speaking on the camera-phone “hey look at me!” pics taken with the help of large household mirrors. And If he’s taking and posting shirtless photos of himself in gym locker rooms, you can confidently consider him a Discreet Homosexual. He’s one step away from posting amateur porn jerk-off videos on XTube.
There was a “straight” guy on Facebook that I had a feeling was gay for two years…eventually I went through his old photo albums and saw photo after photo with him and men I’d seen at Gay clubs. There were the Mexican restaurant photos with the giant margarita glasses…there were the photos with the group of male friends from out of town coincidentally here during Pride weekend…there there were the photos from the all-male trip to Jamaica. Six months later he annouced that he was “In A Relationship” with a another guy on Facebook. I had my confirmation. My Hindsight Gaydar had worked.
If it looks like duck, walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…chances are that its a Discreet Gay Man.
SEE THE NEXT 5 WAYS TO TELL OF YOUR FACEBOOK FRIEND IS GAY ON THE NEXT PAGE!
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